The Pettiest Reasons To Break Up With Somebody

I have to admit, I can be petty.

Anything can turn me off.

I can't even explain why.

Wake Up!

"Your significant other had a nightmare you cheated on them and because of the dream they break up with you."

Cheeky_Guy

How Messy!

"Sports rivalries. That's definitely happened, which is hilarious."

LongBongJohnSilver

"My date and I (not yet in a relationship but very close) stopped seeing each other because of our sports rivalries. She is a huge Messi fan and I am a Ronaldo fan. But the thing is, I don't hate Messi and she really hates Ronaldo. So during one of our dates, we got into a debate about Ronaldo's bad personality (most of our dates somehow will have football conversations, and most of our football conversations are about Ronaldo because she keeps bringing him up; I never say anything about Messi)."

"I was so tired of listening to her talk badly about my idol, so I said: 'No matter how bad you think Ronaldo is, I will always admire him because he is a person who never gives up, even after being defeated many times. Unlike your idol Messi, who failed once and decided to quit the national team. The Argentina president even had to apologize to him to get him to come back, even though he was the one who missed the important penalty.' She stood up and left, and I haven't texted her since then."

hoainamduong

'Can we have one of each please?'

"She said she didn’t want dessert but then ate half my slice of pie."

RealBowsHaveRecurves

"When my now-wife and I were on our second date, the restaurant didn’t have a printed dessert menu, so the server was telling us the options. I completely zoned out because I was so nervous and also I kinda needed to pee but there hadn’t been a reasonable break in the conversation so I just smiled, and nodded, then when everyone looked at me expectantly, I just said 'Can we have one of each please?' Turns out there had been only two options (a crème brûlée and a chocolate pie situation)."

savingewoks

Smothering Me

"Not replying to a text message quickly enough."

nordictouch

"I was in a brief relationship recently with a guy who insisted I turn read receipts on even though I never do for anyone. I told him I felt a little weird about doing it but did it anyway."

"A few weeks later I read one of his texts and didn’t respond for an hour because I was working. After not hearing from me immediately, he texted, 'There’s something very untrustworthy about you' and then told me he needed space. He ghosted me for a week and then dumped me."

wilderthurgro

Natural Gases

"The other person farts in their sleep."

"Everyone farts in their sleep."

It_Wasnt_Me79

Blatant. Serial Killer. Behavior.

"She eats her peas one at a time."

henfeathers

"I had a friend who took hours to eat just about anything. A Snickers bar would take about an hour. She'd eat all the chocolate off first, in little pieces, and then each layer. Spaghetti. One noodle at a time. Drove all her boyfriend's nuts."

Azuredreams25

Sorry Justin

"In fourth grade, my bf Justin was demanding I share my cheese puffs. I jokingly said no. He got serious and said do it or I’ll break up with you. I made sure I only ate half and threw the other half away out of pure spite."

​Elesmira

"Not your cheesy poofs!????"

RambleOnRose42

"And THAT is how you stave off people who want to get you into an abusive relationship. I'll remember that one. Damn, I love cheese puffs."

ElementalWorkshopII

Seeing Stars

"One time I broke up with someone because they were obsessed with Julia Roberts and I just thought she was meh, every time we hung out it was Julia Roberts this, Julia Roberts that. Sheeeeeeeesh."

TheRealOcsiban

"Same with my ex but with Pamela Anderson. And he says that he’s a big Pamela Anderson fan but he couldn’t name another movie she was in besides Baywatch which makes me wonder if he’s only into her because of her big jiggly boobs."

Dapper-Captain5261

Off Course

"I seriously considered calling off my wedding because he took the wrong exit off the highway. When I got irritated and pointed it out (we were in a rush), he got angry with me and claimed that a city street with stop signs every block was faster than the literal f**king highway going the same route."

"But it was just a symptom of the greater problem - he absolutely had to be the smartest person in the room, even if he had to lie or gaslight in order to make it happen."

"So yes, even though it would be ridiculous to call off a wedding the day before over a navigation mishap, I would have been better off (ignoring my gut cost me thousands in divorce fees, stolen cash, and therapy bills)."

SpookyBlackCat

Ok, Bye...

"I had a girl leave me after a week because her ex-boyfriend didn't like me. I gladly went home after hearing that."

Roostersnuggets

Wow. Some people really need to seek therapy before they start trying to date.

There is a lot to of mess to sift through in these brains.