People Break Down The Pettiest Reason They Stopped Dating Someone

How these people used the English language was a big turn off.

Word

"Tried to play 'TGIF' as a word in Scrabble."

– theshoegazer

"Did you then build on it with GTFO?"

– keto-boo

Code

"'cUs sHe TeXteD LiKe dIs! :):):):):p:p:p:p =))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))"

– SpringyNewspety

"Oof, my ex uses 'whaha' and the end of texts and said I was weird for using 'lol' once in a while."

"Actually glad I didn’t see her anymore because she was a bit rude."

– BlueRedditWizard123

The Researcher

"She said, surprised, 'You’re the kind of guy who looks up words in the dictionary when you don’t understand them, aren’t you?'”

"She was a kindergarten teacher."

– RealLADude

Why Are You Shouting?

"They Capitalized Every Written Word."

– boogerboners

These dates lacked physical attraction.

Makes Scents

"She smelled like soup."

– Anomie_Lad

That Uncanny Odor

"She smelled... not super strongly necessarily, but she smelled exactly like one of my roommates in college, specifically the kind of B.O. he had in the summer that would linger in the bathroom when he shat."

"I gave her a kiss on the cheek toward the end of our first date, which is when i noticed that faint, but uncanny smell, and i knew that if we ever got intimate all i'd be able to think about was my roommate taking fat dumps."

– Pentimento_NFT

The Strangest 'Wrong Number' Stories | George Takei’s Oh Myyy

Not Pitch Perfect

"Voice. Funny girl, smart girl, way way to attractive for me girl. Her voice was in the same register as Janice on friends or Fran Drescher in the nanny. Like daggers in my ears. Could not get over it, after the third date had to back off and tell her I was way to busy right now."

– tdasnowman

Bad Ink

"It wasn’t the only reason, and was in fact indicative of a bigger reason, but… he had a REALLY bad tattoo."

– sammybey

The following break ups warranted their own respective categories.

Self-Appointed Organizer

"He rearranged stuff in my house while I was asleep."

– jlcd11147

Conversation With God

"IDK if this counts, but I was already not liking this girl, and she told me that God told her we should break up. I immediately was like well haha don't wanna mess with the big man."

"She regretted it, tried getting back with me, but I kept sarcastically insisting she shouldn't go against God's will."

– Band_From_CFB

Problem With Specs

"Knew someone who broke up with his girlfriend because she had to wear glasses. Reason he gave me was that he didn’t like glasses."

– odagled86

Human Metronome

"Took him to a concert, he tap my knee out of time to the music."

– l2a3s5

I'm not proud of this, but my reason for ending a date was not only petty, it was sha-ha-ha, sha-ha-llow.

I once dated a professional tennis player, or so he said. We went on a lovely dinner date at an Italian restaurant in Manhattan. The mood was perfect, our conversation was thought-provoking, and through it all, there was a palpable romantic tension in the air.

...Until we left the restaurant.

As we were walking side-by-side in the Upper West Side, he kept nudging into my right shoulder with his entire body. I said, "Oh, so we're turning left on 83rd?" He told me that wasn't the plan.

He nudged into me again, and I asked, "So....turning on 82nd then?" He told me we weren't turning anywhere.

When he continually closed the gap between us as we were heading south on Amsterdam Ave, I told him, "I don't mind getting close, but I feel like there's a pattern here of us not walking in perfect tandem."

To which he replied, "I may as well tell you. My right leg is a few centimeters shorter than my left leg, so it affects how I walk sometimes."

I nervously laughed it off, and in my head, I wondered how he was a pro tennis player. Maybe his asymmetrical legs are an advantage and somehow help his game.

Needless to say, I ghosted him after that–otherwise wonderful–dinner date.

Want to "know" more?

Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.

Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.