Forrest Gump famously said life was like a box of chocolates because you never know what's inside.
That certainly applies to dating.
You finally match with someone whom you vibe with through a dating app. After a sexy, fun, and swoon-worthy DM correspondence, you and your potential suitor decide to take the next step: Going on a date.
What could go wrong?
Turns out, a lot, as we've come to find out after Redditor SpankBankManagerger asked strangers online:
"What’s your worst date story?"
Now it can be told.
Surprise Destination
" Wait, is that it?' she said after looking up from her phone for the first time all evening and realizing that we had pulled up in front of her apartment. The original plan included coffee but I had a hunch that I could drive her all the way home before she noticed."
– RamShackleton
It's Not You, It's Me
"I almost f'ked up even managing to go on the date, by getting super drunk the night before with some friends, and sending her a completely unintelligible series of texts that I had no recollection of sending to her."
"I woke up about lunchtime the next day and she had been trying to call me as we were meant to be meeting at 2. I rang her straight back and apologized profusely. She was actually super cool about it, said we'd all been there, and if I still wanted to meet her she was on her way into town."
"Amazing, what a great person giving me a chance even though I'd been an absolute nightmare. Best behaviour today, you'll suffer through the hangover as punishment and make the effort she deserves."
"Had a shower, changed, and necked a couple of ibuprofen for the hangover, and hopped on the bus into town. These were a brand of ibuprofen I'd not taken before however, and on the bus to town i started getting quite hot, probably jist the hangover sweats right? I feel kind of itchy too on my chest, maybe it's just from drying a bit aggressively in my rush."
"Get to the bar and meet her. 'Are you okay? You look a bit red,' she says. 'Yeh, sorry, I've been in a bit of a rush,' I reply, my voice scratchier than I remember it being. Less than 10 minutes of conversation later, my lips and eyelids feel like they've begun swelling up. I go to the toilets to discover that under my shirt, my entire torso is covered in blotches.
"Had to cut the date short and run to the pharmacy to buy some antihistamines. I had been at the bar for 12 minutes, we had been speaking for 3 months. I never spoke to her again."
"Genuinely think my parting words were 'I think there's something wrong with me'. I still stand by those words."
– JohnS90_
Plot Twist
"I was dating a girl few years ago. Right from the start, talking to her was like talking to a brick wall. I'd ask a question, and she'd give one-word answers or maybe a short sentence. She never asked anything back or tried to keep the conversation going."
"At one point, she went to the bathroom, and the older woman at the table next to us leaned over and whispered, 'I have to say, I really admire your patience. She is a nightmare!' "
"That older women now became my wife. She do put effort and interact with the conversation."
– Realistic-Whereas865
Date With Grandma
"Guy took me to see his dying grandmother. Everyone was standing around crying while grandma laid in bed unconscious. The nurse in charge was some random girl from my high school who recognized me and made some snide comment about me being a theater geek."
"Grandma did pull through and lived for like 6 more months."
– sleatygromen
How unromantic.
Day Care Date
"Back when Tinder first came out, I matched with and started talking to a girl who was in my same city in Florida."
"She and I agreed to meet at a restaurant I had been to a few times before. We had talked about it being her and me, but when she arrived she was dragging a kid with her, which she had never mentioned she had, let alone bringing him."
"She sits down and almost immediately gets on her phone to largely ignore me and her kid. I tried striking up a conversation, but it was clear she was not here for me at all. So, her kid and I started coloring on placemats, drawing cartoon character, and things like that."
"Food arrives, we all eat, and then she asks if she can order another entree. I had no intention of paying for her food at this point, so I said 'sure.' "
"I get up to 'use the bathroom' and go see the waiter about the check. I pay for my food and the kids meal, cause he and I were having a pretty good time drawing Minecraft characters. I stuck her with both her entrees and her drinks and then bailed and blocked her on everything."
"Top 5 worst 'date' for me."
– Crude_n_tattooed
The Better Option
"In college. We were supposed to have a coffee date. He arrived late. The conversation was torture because he didn't want to talk. He looked distracted."
"I asked him why. He said his buddies were drinking in his dorm, and he wanted to go drink with them. I said, "Cool, you don't have to stay." He left. The end."
– not_my_leo
Grief And Alcohol
"Met a girl who was a friend of a friend on a night out and hit it off, so I got her number. Set up a dinner date later that week."
"Day of she text me that her grandpa died. I told her it was ok to reschedule, but she still wanted to go out. Said she was me to the city and just didn’t want to be alone. I agreed, knowing it’d probably be a little rough, but boy, did I underestimate it."
"She showed up wasted and proceeded to drink another four drinks at dinner. The entire conversation revolved around how she was bisexual for some reason."
"After dinner we decided to meet with mutual friends, partly because I wanted extra support since it seemed she was spiraling."
"At that point, the conversation turned to her aggressively attempting to take me home and sleep with me, which I declined since she was blackout drunk and I had had maybe 3 drinks. She was offended by that and proceeded to tell me and ask her friends why I was a terrible person and they I’d never find love."
"Decided to call it a night at that point and tried to get her a ride home, but she refused. Got one of her friends to walk her home and never spoke again…"
– PLZ_N_THKS
Some people are just not in the proper headspace for love.
The Scaly Plus One
"Oh man, my worst date was a doozy! Met a girl from a dating app who brought her emotional support iguana to dinner. She spent 30 minutes ranting about her exes, called her mom in the middle of the meal, and made me talk to her!"
"To top it off, she "forgot" her wallet, so I had to cover the bill. Lesson learned: never date anyone who brings a reptile to dinner."
– mahfuz_goat
This Is Mr. Moneybags
"She showed up with 4 of her friends, and told them not to worry, 'moneybags was paying'...me being 'moneybags' apparently."
"They ordered tons of food and drinks. I got up to go to the men's room and snuck out. Didn't respond to the 50+ angry texts I got over the next few hours."
– ImprovementFar5054
Baby Daddy
"I went out to lunch with a man. His phone kept ringing, and he kept ignoring it, but after so many times, he took the call. Someone wanted to know where he was; he told them, said he'd be there a little later, apologized, said he couldn't come right now, just give it an hour or two."
"He told me he forgot he was supposed to help his neighbor with something, but it could wait. 20ish minutes later, his baby mama showed up with THREE KIDS, yelled at him about forgetting what time he was supposed to pick them up, called me 'too pretty to be wasting my time' with him, and left the kids in the restaurant. Very classy."
– pspisy
Although there are bound to be not-so-romantic moments on your dating journey, fear not.
The right one is just around the corner, ready to steal your heart.
But until that person who ignites a spark within you arrives, keep putting yourself out there.
It's the awkward dating experiences you share later on when you're no longer single that make the best stories.
We all gotta kiss a few frogs, amirite?
