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The Worst Names People Have Ever Given Their Child

Newborn baby crying (perhaps over their interesting name)
Photo by Tim Bish on Unsplash

Reddit user Corollo_Bro_91 asked: 'What is the dumbest name you've ever heard someone give their child?'

Choosing baby names is one of those tasks that's a weirdly hot-button subject for some people who believe their opinion should always be taken into consideration, even when it comes to someone else's family.

But sometimes, listening to a third party's opinion would not be the worst thing.


Redditor Corollo_Bro_91 asked:

"What is the dumbest name you've ever heard someone give their child?"

A Lesson in Roman Numerals

"KVIIITLYN. As in, 'Kaitlyn.'"

- today0012

"That’s the most asi-IX (asinine) name I’ve ever heard."

- UnderwhelmingAF

"This joke will never be IVgotX (forgotten)."

- SillyFlyGuy

"I hVIII (hate) you both for making me laugh this hard."

- Ok_Professional8024

When They Couldn't Pick One Condiment

"Dijonaise."

- BamboozleMeToHeck

"That'll go great on my ham sandwich."

- SimpleVegetable5715

Didn't See That Coming

"I knew a Christian family once who named their first two kids Blessed and Saved, then the rest had normal names."

"The third kid (George) was born after Blessed started school, so I bet they had a change of heart on the naming thing as soon as Blessed started getting relentlessly bullied."

- Hot_Frosting_559

"Now they're like, 'These are my kids, Blessed, Saved, and George,' lol (laughing out loud)."

- darthmoo

Star Wars Fans

"I knew a kid named Chewbacca back in grade school. It was not a nickname. It was actually Chewbacca."

- esqualatch12

"Of course that wasn't his nickname. His nickname would be Chewie."

- Olorin_in_the_West

Committed to Italian Food

"I work as a pizza driver, and I have a regular named LaSonya."

"It's pronounced 'Lasagna.'"

- tiffanyistaken

The Best Player at Game Night

"'Trivia' for a girl. Nice girl. Terrible name."

- Euphoric-Blueberry97

Sounds Fishy

"Jessa Duggar named her first kid Spurgeon (sic)."

"I put the 'sic' to clarify I wasn't spelling it wrong."

"It's supposed to be Spurgeon, but to be honest, my brain keeps going to the fish (Sturgeon) but spelled wrong."

- the_lusankya

These Kids Were Only Available in Sets

"I rode the bus in high school with boy/girl twins named Clark and Candy Barr."

"On the same bus were four sisters: Mary Ann, Mary Catherine, Mary Patricia, and Mary Louise."

- wheelie423

Unique Spellings

"I met a girl named Jules but it was spelled 'Jhewelez.'"

"And before anyone gets on my a** about the name potentially being another language, it wasn’t. She was white American and it was pronounced like Jules or Jewels."

- hopefullyimnotsick

"'Jhewelez' reads like Jack Black saying 'jewels' in a way only he can."

- Big_Rig_Jig

"More like Jim Carry in 'Pet Detective.'"

- futurespacecadet

Chronically Mispronounced

"A student’s mom showed up mad that her child’s name was repeatedly mispronounced. Who knew 'Talore' was pronounced 'Taylor'?"

- GeeWhiskers

"This reminds me of the girl I went to school with whose name was Airwrecka (like... Erika)."

- TexanAmericanMexican

It's a Bop; It's a Vibe

"Beezow-Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop."

"Had his name changed to it because he thought it was funny to hear the cops say it."

"I know it’s not a birth name, but I think it belongs here."

- Dragonfire400

"Imagine changing it for that reason because you know you're going to have multiple opportunities for cops to say your name."

- OpeScuseMe74

Interesting Origins

"Wayne Train."

"If you're out there Wayne, I think of you often."

- royonquadra

"I knew a Wayne Deer … 'Santa’s in his sleigh with eight tiny Wayne Deer.'"

- sanibelle98

"Another classic! Is it cruel parenting or just being oblivious to schoolyard teasing?"

- royonquadra

"Wayne train is an oldish meme in Germany. It comes from the term 'Wen interessiert's?' ('Who cares?')."

"'Wen' sounds like Wayne, so Wayne became a meme guy who always cares, but you could also just reply, 'Wayne' when somebody says something irrelevant."

"That then evolved into, 'All aboard the Wayne Train on its way to Mt. Whateverest!'"

- riceandvegetables

Oh, the Irony

"I knew two kids named Wizdom and Knowledge."

- AlanBill

A Complete Sentence

"My mom used to work in a daycare. One of the kids' was named Surprise Joyous Knight."

"Yes, this is true, Mrs. Knight named her kid Surprise Joyous."

- Adventurous_Image793

"'O Holy' was already taken."

- CaptnsDaughter

"My sister works as an obstetrician in Switzerland. Before moving abroad, she did an internship here in Italy, where we were both born."

"A couple was undecided whether to name their son 'Domenico' or 'Antonio.'"

"In the end, they decided to call him 'Domenicantonio.'"

- harlenemachiavelli

"Could you imagine in elementary school, having to write that on all of your papers? Poor kid, lol (laughing out loud)."

- Glum-Temperature-111

"You'd learn your ABCs pretty fast!"

- admiralrico411

Coming up with baby names is one of those things that parents are incredibly excited to do as they prepare to become parents, and sometimes their decision is met with a lot of resistance.

In these cases, there was a pretty clear reason why.

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