It's really simple. When you are in attendance for a couple's wedding... act accordingly, you know, like NOT an idiot. Just because there is an open bar doesn't mean you have to drink it dry. And if you're having issue with the couple and the nuptials in general ask yourself... "Why the hell am I even here?!" This isn't General Hospital. That speak now or forever hold your peace bit is just part of tradition. Nobody takes it seriously, at least nobody is suppose to. It's meant to be a joyful event. keep it that way!
Redditor mortimerza wanted to let everyone know a few proper points of etiquette when at a wedding, so they asked others to admit... What is the worst thing you can do at someones wedding?
Vet your people...
GiphyThe girlfriend to one of my groomsmen showed up super late to the reception while wearing a white crop top and hitting on my older bro who was also a groomsmen. Not super trashy but definitely a solid amount of trash. Great wedding though.
This isn't a circus...
Family dog was the ring bearer, The ring bearer took a s*** on the way down the aisle...
Where is your I don't see your name on the list...
GiphyShowing up without RSVPing, showing up in jeans when the invite says formal, showing up 15 minutes late in the middle of the ceremony, letting toddlers run around during the reception and stick their fingers in the cake.
Shut up Kevin Hart...
GiphyDuring the ceremony of my brother's wedding, a drunk uncle on the bride's side thought it was okay to make sexual jokes to the pastor throughout the entire thing. Our side of the family had a melt down when he interrupted the vows with an oral sex/divorce joke.
Who??
At my sister's wedding the best man kept referring to my sister as the groom's ex-wife. That was pretty terrible.
Hello. Rude.
GiphySteal their thunder by proposing to your SO.
Even when they have permission, it still seems rude as hell. It's THEIR day.
This isn't your moment!
Basically call attention to yourself in any way shape or form. If you go to a wedding and no one remembers you mission accomplished.
We're all flammable.
Set an 8 year old boy on fire.
The story: At my cousin's wedding. Reception is outdoor, under a tent. The Emcee announces that the famous chef Duffy will be presenting his famous "Flaming Chicken" and everyone should give him a big round of applause. Chef Duffy comes running out carrying a sheet pan with brandy soused chicken set on fire. He slips on the dance floor and the chicken flambe falls under the folding chair of a child and rapidly turns into a ball of flame. Bystanders quickly jump into action and put the fire out, and there is no harm to the child. The videographer stayed with the shot and to this day when my cousin and his wife are feeling down, they pop in the wedding tape. Always good for a laugh.
You're still paying for that meal...
RSVP that you will be attending and then don't show up. The couple will still have to pay for you as if you did come, and they probably would have invited someone else if they knew that you were unable to attend.
At my cousins wedding I was stood at a table which was next to the cake table talking to my Nan when a drunk man stumbled past and knocked over the cake (which hadn't been cut at this stage). He disappeared as quick as he could leaving me and my Nan (in her 80's) to try and rescue the cake. Everyone thought it was one of us that knocked it over and it was terrible, so yeah don't get drunk too early and do not go near the cake especially if it has not been cut.
DUH!
GiphyDrink to much and throw up especially if it is an open bar. That and do not hit on the bride.
Be in the moment!
Recently attended a wedding that had three very talented photographers but everybody had their phones up and out taking videos and pictures. Not the worst thing, but just annoying and inconsiderate. It was a beautiful, emotional wedding - look up from your screens and share the moment with the couple damn it!
I used to work at a place that did weddings so have a couple of stories...
We once had the father of the bride come to the bar mid-ceremony for a pint. I had to turn him down as we aren't allowed to serve alcohol during the ceremony.
There was the time (a different) father of the bride got drunk, managed to cover both himself and a toilet cubicle in copious amounts of shit, then blame every other bloke for it.
Seen the odd bit of domestic violence and had to call the police.
We had some reception guests turn up uninvited for the main event. They had super picky dietary requirements - two gluten free vegans, and they got very upset and started complaining that we didn't have enough suitable food for them. We cater for who we are told will be present and guests have to let people know their dietaries beforehand, but we do always keep a bit of extra veggie/vegan stuff on hand for the inevitable. They moaned at least 4 separate members of staff when we were clearly all already running around busy and took up so much time. The manager went over and had a quiet word with the bride who let us know they weren't even supposed to be there, and she threw them out. They left and still came back for the evening reception, despite all of this.
GiphyFirst - let me say I make awful jokes when I'm feeling emotional tension.
My brother got married last weekend and it was very stressful because his dog was dying. She was in the wedding ceremony but the vet said she would need to be put down right after.
He was being married at a campsite and we were helping my mom (who is grumpy and has COPD) up a hill and it was a struggle. It was also so sad for us because she isn't doing so well either.
I looked at him and said "I bet you thought we'd have to put her down before the dog."
This was not funny. No one laughed. What the fuck is wrong with me?
Cue the music...
Bribe the organist to play a funeral march as the wedding procession comes down the aisle.
Musical Chairs...
GiphyRearrange the seating chart that was worked on for a long time because you weren't happy with it.
5th time is the charm...
If it's their second marriage, saying to one side of the family "Welcome back!"
Third wedding: "Let's hope third time's a charm, right, hahaha, oh who are we kidding?"
Fourth wedding: "Wow, not sure why you even bothered at this point."
- Ask the bride if she broke wind
- Send back the chicken for being undercooked, when it was actually fish
- Declare them as a couple before the groom says "I do"
- Get mad and curse when you're supposed to push the wheelchair of the bride's father, but he starts to walk
- Give a speech when you are only employer of the bride
- In the speech, define wedding as the fusing of two metals with a hot torch
