It takes a lot to have a child.
But it's not for everyone.
Reddit user, u/an_iconoclast, wanted to know why you never wish to procreate when they asked:
To those who NEVER want to have a child, what were your reasons?
There's nothing wrong with not wanting a child.
Let's rephrase that: there shouldn't be anything wrong with not wanting a child.
Speaking Truthfully
"... I can barely take care of a cat.
How do you think I would do with a child?"
Brutal Honesty
"I was born this way. Have just never desired children. No particular reason."
"Same. I can be forced to come up with logical reasons but the real reason is - I just don't want to."
They Do Snatch Things Away
"I enjoy money and silence"
"I enjoy the most valuable things in my life, which are time and freedom.
I would resent anything that takes that away SO MUCH..."
Birth Is A Whole Other Thing
"I don't want to go through birth, I don't like the baby stage, children and toddlers are fun and can be adorable but not 24/7, I like money and the piece of mind that I won't do anything to screw up their lives, everyone I have said I don't want kids to will say I told you so
And finally I'm not responsible or mature enough."
Defying The System
"When I was younger, my mom would always tell me that I would become a housewife. I always thought, "but what about my career?" but she would brush it off and tell me that being a mother was the best thing in the world. Years later, I still stand by that. I have worked so hard in school, and I am not willing to give it up for a child. I just don't think I'm qualified to focus on a career and raise children. Additionally, I don't think I want to bring life into this world. The world is a cruel place, and I do not want my child suffering because I wanted to be a mother."
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No Trade-Off
"Well, I've spent practically all my life getting pushed and controlled by my parents. So, when I move out, I will never trade my peace and freedom at any cost."
Never Undone
"I've never seen myself having biological children, even as a child. I've just never wanted them and frankly, as I've heard it out before, having a child should be opt in, not opt out, since it is the ONE decision in life you cannot undo. Anything else? You can go back and change - careers, houses, cars, relationships (whether you are in one or not) - but you can't un-have a child. Not only that but I am working on getting over my own childhood. It's not fair to bring a child into my mess."
"If I ever have kids, I will probably adopt but that is also a loooooong conversation I would need to have with my future partner."
Some people think too hard about what comes next, which is a considerate move to make if they think they might want to bring a new life into this world. Your choices have consequences.
Thinking About Their Future Generations
"Too mentally ill from childhood trauma and have various auto immune diseases. Wouldn't be fair to have a child when I'm not completely present for them.
Love kids but not for me."
This Is The Point Of No Return
"Once I'm a mom, I can never not be a mom. I like deciding what I can do whenever I want to without having to care for a child, I feel like a partner is already enough 'compromise' (for a lack of a better word) of free time. Have nothing against kids though! Just not for me :)"
Looking For That Reasoning
"Imo, I should justify why I want kids instead of finding reasons why I don't want them.
In my case, I don't have a reason to want them."
"'I don't have a reason to want them.' Perfect answer for me."
Protecting Potential Brood
"I have health issues I don't want to pass down. Tried IVF and it failed. Can't afford another one. We are thinking of fostering but my husband isn't sure he wants to. I don't want to force him when already has a lot of anxiety. Also neither my husband or make a lot of money and daycare would be one the cost of one of our paychecks. Currently we need both to pay our bills."
Of course, there could be something else behind the decision to not bring a child into this world.
Already Lived Through It Once
"As the eldest sibling in my family, I've already lived out my maternal dreams.
Mental and chronic illness runs in my family and I can't risk passing it along.
I don't want to put my body through pregnancy.
It's a lot of responsibility and I rather live for myself and all the other things I rather do in the world."
Protect Yourself
"My body is very small in general, I'm short and thin, I can't imagine carrying the weight of a child. I have no intentions of giving birth, sounds stressful and painful as hell. Raising a kid could destroy my career and I would no longer be able to play games and do whatever I want in my free time, and I think the world will get worse, I wouldn't bring an innocent child to this reality."
How Many To List...?
"To sum it up:
- I like having my time and money to myself. Fancy sitting in bed late, drinking beer and ordering takeout? I can do that. Going out with friends at the drop of a hat with no worries? That too.
- My mental & physical health. Some issues are genetic in my family and I'd never wish that upon a child.
- This frankly isn't a world that I'd like to bring anybody into.
- I'm frankly quite selfish (I'd never, ever neglect a child however). I'd prefer the new clothes and games that I bought recently to a nappy / diaper bill.
I've just become an uncle so I totally understand how people can want a child, it's just mot for me personally."
Know The Importance, And Significance, Of What You Choose To Do
"I understand the immense responsibility & sacrifice they are and choose instead to work on myself and continue to nurture my own experiences and growth through the one life I have."
"There's a difference between wanting a child, and wanting to be a parent. One makes you a kid sound like an accessory, the other makes you think of the responsibility"
Never feel bad for making the choices you do. Trust your instincts, believe in your convictions, and know that whatever you decide on is grounded in your reason.
Some people are meant to raise children. Others are not. There's no problem with wanting to do either.
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