Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

People Share The Most Professional Ways To Tell Someone To F*** Off

People Share The Most Professional Ways To Tell Someone To F*** Off
Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

Working from home this past year has definitely changed things for people. While not everyone has been lucky to enjoy the work-from-home experience, for those who have they've enjoyed a little bit of what we'll call "linguistic freedom."


You can swear a lot more. That's the plus.
However, with the world opening back up slowly and safely there needs to be a return to workplace etiquette. You can't tell everyone to f*** off like you do to your cat when they're cleaning themselves on your office chair while the camera was accidentally left on during the fourth Zoom meeting of the day. You need to handle difficult situations with dignity, grace, and decorum.

Reddit user, u/EmolgaStarPlatinum, wanted to hear how to tell someone off when they asked:

Reddit, what is the most professional way to tell someone to f*** off?

Being in a professional environment means finding the most eloquent, illustrious ways of saying something that could be easily said in one or two words.

And, of course, one of those words is f***.

Don't. Ask. Me. Again.

"As previously discussed on [enter date[ this matter was resolved, I have cc'd [your supervisor], please direct any further questions or concerns to them."

Inamedmydognoodz

"Per my last email..."

parthaenus9556

"Nah that one means "Learn to f-cking read you turnip brain".

PM_me_ur_navel_girl

Bloody Pirates!

"I'm disinclined to acquiesce your request.

...Means no."

From Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl"

stalenormie420

We're Not Choosing You

"We have decided to move forward with other candidates. We appreciate your interest in this position."

Chr15py0696

Again, We're Not Bloody Choosing You!

"We've decided to pursue with more qualified candidates at this time.'"

Doki_Literature

My Time Is More Valuable Than Yours

"My boss who is on the phone talking to a crazy customer: "Thank you for your time, sir. Unfortunately, we no longer want to except your business. Goodbye."

"hangs up the phone while the customer is still talking on the other side"

Ok-Championship1978

Seriously. We're NOT Choosing You.

"Thank you for your application but we have decided on a more qualified candidate."

throwupz

Unfortunately, all of these situations require more grace than what you might be comfortable giving, especially if its bad news. So instead of cutting to the chase, you have to say it in a comfortable way.

Think About It. You'll Get It.

"Could you please close the door from the outside."

pristine_coconut

Things That Are Normal Where You Live But Crazy Anywhere Else | George Takei’s Oh Myyy

Shutting Down Your Requests

"Told my supervisor that we needed certain equipment. "Good prediction" was the response I got. Just spit on me next time."

TurbulentTowel3144

The Joke Is We're Never Coming Back To It.

"Let's put a pin in that and circle-back later"

The_Smithest

Thanks For Wasting Our Time

"Well, you've provided us all with a great opportunity for education on this matter."

ChattyW

Then there's these.

The sickest of sick burns, the real zingers that'll make your co-workers cry out in silence when they return to their workspace and are totally certain no one is watching them sit in shame.

*insert Get Out GIF

"The exit is right behind you sir/ma'am. I do hope I need not to assist you to it."

DrDipSh-t101

I Acknowledge Your Feelings, But Do Not Share Them

"I understand your concern, but I do not have the same concern."

RhodaPenmarksShoes

You Won't

"Thank you. I'll take that into consideration."

AmyHeartsYou

"My dipsh-t uncle told me these exact two sentences when I personally called to invite him to my wedding because he had a falling out with my dad at the time."

CynAq

The Joke Is: It Hasn't.

"Tell them "your opinion has been noted".

ApeNoHurtApe

What You Say Doesn't Matter

"This conversation is no longer productive, we'll have to come back to it with a clear head"

yayaokokcool

The world is opening back up. Old habits need to be reinstated if we're to return to a civilized society.

In short, don't cuss out your boss just because he took the last doughnut from the lounge. Keep that kind of language at home. Find a more respectable way to tell them where they can stick that pastry.

Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.

More from Trending/best-of-reddit

Screenshots from @realprogressive11's TikTok video
@realprogressive11/TikTok

Rural Michigan Woman Speaks Out About 'Dystopian' Grocery Costs In Eye-Opening Video

TikToker @realprogressive11, a rural Michigan resident, is tired of dancing around the subject and is ready to call it like it is: according to her, grocery shopping has become a "dystopian" experience.

And based on other TikTokers' experiences, this isn't specific to Michigan.

Keep ReadingShow less
Andrew Rannells Just Dished On How Dating Anderson Cooper At 25 Directly Inspired 'Girls' Storyline—And Our Jaws Are On The Floor
Daily Beast/Obsessed; Gary Gershoff/Getty Images

Andrew Rannells Just Dished On How Dating Anderson Cooper At 25 Directly Inspired 'Girls' Storyline—And Our Jaws Are On The Floor

After years of speculation, the tea has finally been spilled about who inspired Elijah Krantz and Dill Harcourt's relationship.

In case you missed it, the hit TV show Girls aired for six seasons from 2012 to 2017, and followed the lives of four young women making their way through early romance and career moves in New York City.

Keep ReadingShow less
Tom Holland and Zendaya
Pablo Cuadra/WireImage/Getty Images

Tom Holland Just Confirmed The Months-Long Rumors That He And Zendaya Got Married—And His Comments Have Fans Swooning

American actor and singer Zendaya and British actor and dancer Tom Holland first met in 2016 during the screen test and casting process for their roles in the 2017 Marvel made/Sony approved movie Spider-Man: Homecoming. The pair, both born in 1996, were successful child actors transitioning into adults, but still playing teens on camera.

They became fast friends, but didn't begin dating until sometime later, even if fans thought the attraction happened much sooner. They finally confirmed their relationship in 2021.

Keep ReadingShow less
Billy Porter; Elisabeth Hasselbeck
CBS Mornings

Elisabeth Hasselbeck Is Getting Some Major Side-Eye After Making Bizarre Dig At Billy Porter During Interview

Conservative TV host Elisabeth Hasselbeck first gained public notice in 2001 as a contestant on the second season of the CBS reality show Survivor, then she furthered her fame by marrying NFL player Tim Hasselbeck the following year.

After that, she became the conservative voice on The View for a decade (2003-2013), frequently clashing with her co-hosts and garnering animosity from viewers. Portraying herself as a trad-wife while in reality being a working mother, her next stint was on Fox News' Fox & Friends from 2013 to 2015 before being replaced by Sean Hannity paramour Ainsley Earhardt.

Keep ReadingShow less
Screenshots of JD Vance and Whoopi Goldberg
Fox News; The View

JD Vance Ripped After Running To Fox News To Whine About Whoopi Goldberg Supposedly Calling Him 'Racist' On 'The View'

Vice President JD Vance was criticized after he complained on Fox News that The View moderator Whoopi Goldberg had called him a "racist" during his appearance on the program.

While on The View, Vance sidestepped a question from Goldberg about concerns that the Trump administration was marginalizing Black history and communities.

Keep ReadingShow less