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People Share Their Favorite Methods To Calm Their Anger

Man screaming into payphone
Alexandra Mirgheș/Unsplash

We all have our different breaking points when it comes to tolerating certain behaviors.

When pushed too far, people can act impulsively and wind up causing irreparable damage and also ruining various relationships.

Some people may find it difficult to do, but turning their back on the situation is key, but if their backs are up against the wall, they may find that counting to ten may bring momentary peace.

Curious to hear about strangers online suppress their rage, Redditor Grouchy-Trip9582 asked:


"What do you do to calm your anger?"

Not being around others is helpful, though it's not always an ideal solution.

Go Into Isolation

"I have to get away from people."

– xo_lily_xo

"Same but almost impossible with two younger children around. I think I hold the Guinness World Record for the number of times I have tried to sneak into the bathroom to poop but always get interrupted. Going on 7 years with having every single poop interrupted 💪🏻"

– baldymcbaldyface

Advantage Of Being Single

"This is exactly why I'm not in a relationship. Trying to find someone who doesn't argue over trivialities such as these seems to be a tall order the older we get"

– Sequitur1

Any distraction is a good distraction in a moment of rage

Chef's Kiss

"Think about cooking. It sounds weird, but I debate what I'm gonna cook for dinner and run through ingredients in my head. That way, I'm distracted from rage and it gives me time to process my feelings."

– TeaAndBaileys

"Right now, Im angry at my spouse for stupid disagreements with groceries for what to eat. I'll think about cooking some other day."

– repanah222803

Not A Tall Order

"What works best for me is not to think about cooking but to actually bake pancakes. It reduces the world to a small and manageable place where I'm in control and everything works the way I want it to. And I end up with a stack of pancakes to boot. Doesn't work as well when not at home, though. I don't need this fix a lot, sine I am hardly ever angry (and have very little cause to get angry, fortunately)."

– Kraaihamer

Feel The Music

"I begin singing in my head…something calming like Pink Floyd or any number of Black Sabbath songs."

– Sharonfromhell

"If I'm getting impatient or trying not to call someone an idiot I'll sing 'one o'clock, two o'clock, three o'clock rock' in my head. By six o'clock rock I'm usually over it, and nobody even knows I was annoyed."

– Ygnerna

Some people prefer to assess the conflict to help them calm down.

Food For Thought

"Step back and ask myself why the thing making me angry is making me angry. Is it kneejerk defensiveness because something I take for granted has been challenged? Was it an intentionally inflammatory statement designed to make me angry for the sake of attention or clicks? Am I missing an understandable reason someone might do or say something that seems offensive on the surface? Is the person I'm talking to genuinely too ignorant or stupid to understand the implications of what they're saying or doing? Or, after all other possibilities are exhausted, is the anger legitimate?"

"And by the time I've gone through all that, even if it is legitimate, I will have cooled off enough to behave rationally despite any underlying anger."

– MrLuxarina

​Effectiveness All-Around

"I do this all the time! Doesn't just work for anger, I've also used it to evaluate my life when I was going through depression. I learned SO much about myself during that time by using this method."

– Ganouche

Switch Mode

"My brain turns it into deep depression."

– Shenanigamii

"If your emotions are imbalanced or morph it could be your brain chemicals. I’m bipolar and when I get extremely mad I usually start crying an hour later and get stupidly depressed. I dunno, that’s what happens to me too is my anger turns into the Great Depression."

– axg12

Assessing The Situation

"a therapist of mine told me that most anger is a reaction to a different type of feeling. I try to analyze what other feeling I'm feeling and get to the core of it. Sometimes it sucks because anger is a kneejerk response usually and hard to really Calm, but to avoid arguments, its better to analyze. it also helps you understand others more."

– turdennis

Bringing In Logic

"When I realize I’m angry I pause, remove myself from the situation and logically think through why I’m angry while rationalizing that it’s not a good reason to be as angry as I’ve gotten and/or if I feel it’s justified I accept that I need to calm down to be productive or risk being irrationally destructive."

– mtgkajhit

Whenever I'm about to go postal in any situation, I think of my dear friend Kimberly and reflect on some of her hilarious antics that to this day still make me laugh.

Yeah, I have her to thank for a number of times I could've caused property damage.

Thanks, Kimberly. You have no idea how much thinking about your sense of humor has gotten me out of plenty of trouble. Not that I need anger management or anything.

Readers, I hope you all have a Kimberly in your lives that you can rely on in the heat of a moment to pull you back.

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