Tying the knot is the ultimate form of commitment to show loved ones and close friends that you've found the one with whom you're ready to share a life.
The wedding day is a celebration of love in which gathered loved ones raise a glass, cut a rug, and send positive wishes for a happily ever after.
But happily-ever-afters are unfortunately never a guarantee as it is a well-known statistic that many marriages end in divorce despite vain attempts to save them.
What happened?
There can be a variety of reasons for the dissolution of marriage, and they are often complicated because one spouse can't be entirely blamed.
Curious to hear from newly single strangers online, Redditor Careful_Fox_8155 asked:
"What caused the end of your marriage?"
People were surprised by the roles of marriage.
Mothering
"I felt like a mother & I don’t have children."
– sadkitty899
"Same! Taking care of a man child for 15 years was exhausting."
"Then I got really sick this summer with what was either massive ovarian cysts or ovarian cancer. I was hospitalized for days while waiting for the gyno-oncology surgeon to return from vacation to do an exploratory laparotomy to remove the masses and biopsy them. In the worst pain of my life, terrified. And my husband was barely visiting me."
"Then he refused to take the day off work for my surgery. He could have! But he wouldn't. He'd have let me wake up to a cancer diagnosis without his support."
"Fortunately, the masses were benign, and I began the slow road to recovery. My sister took me home when I was discharged. To a dirty house, my husband hadn't bothered to clean or change the sheets or anything. He continued to not take care of me."
"As soon as I was well enough, I moved out and filed."
– RhubarbSelkie
Immature Spouse
"There were a ton of things, but one thing that really did it for me- story time!"
"Our youngest was really ill. I took him to the emergency room 3 times, my husband complains about the cost each time and gaslighting me that I was overreacting. The third time I had to carry him in to the hospital, and our kid (7) finally got a chest xray and within minutes we were in an ambulance. He had severe pneumonia."
"Looking back, honestly he was actively dying. So after 4 IVs, breathing tube, pigtail tube to drain the fluid off his collapsing lung, xray after xray, CT scans, he finally turned a corner. But it wasn’t a good prognosis. We were lucky."
"In the meantime, my MIL came to 'help' with our older child. She proceeded to get absolutely sh*t-faced every night she was here, a woman in her 70’s, falling down drunk. I was so angry at her selfishness."
"Also, I missed my own mother’s memorial service. Obviously, I had no choice, but it was still a blow. I wanted to be able to remember her with her sisters, see her face, and hear her voice in them. Instead, I listened in on the speaker from far away. This was on day 12 of my youngest being hospitalized, and we were waiting to be discharged."
"I was emotionally, physically and mentally exhausted. And I just wanted to get my son home. As we are waiting for an available doctor to discharge us, my husband called and asked if he needed to be there. For his child that barely pulled through, on the day of my mother’s memorial service, while his mother was there making everything harder. That he even asked that question galled me."
"It took me three trips to the car by myself, since after that long we had clothes and toiletries, blankets and stuffies, puzzles, games, books etc."
"I couldn’t look at my husband the same after that."
"Edit: thank you, everyone, for your kind words and support. Means a lot."
– Rochesters-1stWife
Major deception is the proverbial nail in the marriage coffin.
Extended Family Member
"Finding out my son has a half-sister who is just four months younger than he is."
– ChickSec
"My half brother and I are exactly 9 months apart. My dad was having an affair with my aunt, and they gave him up for adoption to cover their tracks, but everyone found out anyway except my older brother and I.. we Didn’t know about him until he messaged me on FB about ten years ago."
– Nofcksgivn
Infidelity
"We were in an open marriage I knew nothing about."
– U_canonlywish117
"Coming home from a trip, my husband picked me up from the airport in my car. I noticed that the back window was cracked open. It was the kind of small, triangular window that you have to crack open from the inside manually."
"I asked him who was sitting in the backseat? Without thinking he said it was his best friend and the friend's wife. I asked, 'then who was sitting in the front seat?' He laughed nervously and didn't answer. That was how I found out he was having an affair."
– Minkiemink
False Pretense
"He lied about wanting children. He knew he was shooting blanks but let me have 2 procedures under general anesthesia to 'find out what was wrong with me'. His mother ended up mentioning it because she thought for sure he had told me."
– adairks
Love Insurance
"After 35 years of marriage, I received a terminal diagnosis. Husband was concerned about being alone after I die so started looking for my replacement before I was actually dead."
"Jokes on him. Now he is alone. And it looks like I may be one of those 1 in a million who can live several decades rather than the usual 2 years with my dx."
– Electronic-Comb-9298
Cruel Punishment
"She cheated on me and got pregnant. Blamed it on me not giving her time and attention, I worked 2 jobs and was taking online classes in my spare time so I could get one, just one better job instead of working 2 and so we could have a better life."
– DoJu318
When all hope is lost, separating is the best solution.
Therapy Session Is Over
"A couples therapist saying. 'I can’t do this anymore, you need to divorce him and move on with your life.' ”
– its_only_mylife
"This! I wasn’t married but my childs father was so f*kd up my therapist literally told me in private I can do much better and I should leave immediately."
"Was ALSO told this by a legal aid family law attorney after describing the situation. She confidentially (told me she wasn’t supposed to tell me this but still) blatantly warned me against staying by describing in detail how much harder it would get legally further down the road. This lady saved me and my daughters LIVES."
"The day she told me that’s when I solidified my plan that was already in motion and left for good."
– Most-Elderberry-5613
Choosing The Bottle
"After 27 years of marriage, I told him it was me or the bottle. He fixed himself a drink."
– Sifiisnewreality
Sometimes, it's nobody's fault.
Tragedy Strikes
"Was happily married and then one normal morning he got hit by a rollover truck while at work. Someone blew a red light."
– VersionAmbitious1826
"My wife passed away and I was wondering if someone else was going to say,”dead”. We were happy. Sucks. Peace to you."
– dirkalict
It doesn't take a detective to know when things are over.
Divine Intervention
"Religious differences. He thought he was god, and I didn’t."
– VioletSea13
Perpetual Anxiety
"Hasn’t ended yet but maybe soon: partner is unfulfilled and restless, in and out of jobs constantly and wants to change countries every time depression hits and also wants to have children and doesn’t understand why I don’t feel secure and relaxed enough to do so."
"I am the main financial provider, stable and reliable and I would love to just focus on what we have and where we are instead of throwing everything away. I have been living in anxiety for as long as we live together and didn’t know why."
"Now I think I know but I don’t want to accept it and I am still working on broadening my horizon and relax a little but it gets more difficult the more I try."
– Ok_Goal_9982
Getting married is the fun part.
Then the hard part begins, which entails putting in the work to ensure the commitment remains a healthy and lengthy one.
When both parties are willing and face challenges together, they come out the other side stronger as a team. That's what a healthy marriage is.
And when either doesn't have enough trust or respect for the other, that is usually the source of the downfall.
It's up to you to have a meaningful marriage. Are you up for the commitment?
"Well, what if it doesn't end up working out?" you ask.
To that, I say, "Ahh, but what if it does."
Mount Sinai Medical
@Acyn/X