You think you know a person.
Sometimes our initial instincts about a friend or acquaintance fail us after we're shown the individual's true colors.
Whether it's a person who was with us through a challenging time or appeared kind with thoughtful gestures, all those positive characteristics can give way to dissolution by one snide remark or dastardly deed, leaving us to question our people assessment skills.
Curious to hear of strangers' sobering realizations about the people they thought they knew, Redditor just_want_advice_7_advice_7 asked:
"What’s the moment you’re realizing your friend wasn’t a good person?"
Redditors never saw these coming from someone they called a "friend."
Ride To Nowhere
"We lived in the same dorm and worked at the same place. I gave him a ride to work because he didn't have a car daily for a few months."
"The thought never occurred to me to ask for money because it I was going there anyway...why would I? He got a car and my car broke down. I asked for a ride. He asks me for gas money."
– twelveparsnips
Gossip Girl
"She talked poorly about every single person she knew/met."
– spicymeatball707
"I've recently come to the same conclusion about someone I know and have pulled away from the friendship."
"I don't need that sort of negativity in my life!"
– melliott103
The Klepto
"He was caught stealing from another friend, and instead of even pretending to apologize, he came up with a convoluted excuse to justify it."
– Hrekires
"damn, this is exact same thing that happened to my friend, except he was caught stealing from me, by me. he even tried to talk his another friend into pretending that they had just found a wallet on the street and they bought an expensive lighter with that, and totally not my money that mysteriously disappeared after he left my house."
– Drogovich
Wandering Eye
"Left his wife and kids because he was in love with my wife, who wasn't interested in him at all. Then literally never saw his kids again and gave up all parental rights. Her next husband, also a friend of mine, adopted them and has been a great dad."
– Pure_Mammoth_1233
Unlikeable Mom
"Not really a friend. Rather his mother."
"When I was kid I used to hang out all the time with another kid whose mother was sort of the stereotypical Italian mother. Way too involved, a bit of a smotherer. But she seemed nice."
"Once I stopped around his house (this was the 80s, so no cell phones), and he & his family weren't home, but some other kids across the street called me over & I started hanging out with them. Fast forward an hour or so, and the friend who wasn't home comes home with his parents. The mom comes over and invites me into their house to play Atari or something like that."
"The other kids weren't invited, and it seemed rude to ditch the other kids, so guilt kicked in, and I declined. Just seemed like the right thing to do, but the friend's mom apparently took this as a slight."
"To teach me a lesson, she then ordered a pizza and, when it arrived, invited all the kids into their house - except me. Obviously, the other kids went for the pizza, and I got ditched for trying to do the right thing."
"I was so hurt by it I refused to hang out with her son again, which was pretty much the end of our friendship."
– Pixelated_Penguin808
Some people are just not cut out for friendship.
Just Despicable
"We went out clubbing, and I happened to come across an old friend. She later was making jokes about him being 'ugly' and 'looking like an alien.' He was a burn victim, and she knew that."
"She would also park in the handicapped spots when she had no disabilities. She then leaked my phone number online having people harass me and thought she was doing something by dating my abusive ex bf. They lasted two weeks."
– angel_bunny444
Constant Disrespect
"They constantly downplay whatever it is you're sharing - life problems, emotions, general concerns etc. It was a sad realization."
– Helpfoolness
"I don't remember where I encountered the term but I think this counts as 'toxic positivity.' I'm generally a positive person, but when I stumbled upon this term I realize that it's not always a good thing. It can come off as trivializing the real stuff."
– justinm715
Left Hanging
"I'd always bought my best friend lunch in high school, Like everyday. Every when he had detention, I'd come by and drop him off food. This one week, I lost my wallet, so no money. Surprisingly he he had money that week I didn't have money."
"I asked him if he could get me lunch and straight up said no. I thought he was joking and then he just bought food and ate by himself. Made me really think people can be so greedy to their best friend. I stopped hanging out with him after that, and I didn't buy him food anymore."
"(He didn't steal my wallet it was at my grandma's house.)"
– DivineArcade1
The 180
"Went from victim to abuser real quick. Turns out if a person is consistently in f'ked up situations or has f'ked up friends, they’re the constant and that pattern of behavior will eventually reach back to you."
"It’s also a good rule of thumb that if they refuse to communicate about their feelings, as in they’re avoiding them or confronting someone about them, they will neglect yours."
– PeeBuzz
Perpetual Bullies
"They purposely embarrass you in front of others, then expect you to get over it. They bully other people. (This was HS)"
– Individual_Phone_152
"Imagine doing the same when you are over 30. They do the same sh*t like they do it in the HS. Stopped hanging out."
– Ok_Beyond6821
"My friend did this to me a lot too. We went out for Halloween together and I was wearing a dress with a pair of nude spandex shorts underneath. The entire night she kept grabbing at my dress and lifting it up and I kept asking her to stop because I didn’t want people to get the wrong idea since my shorts were so close to my skin color."
"She had the audacity to bring it up to me the next day telling me that 'I was being rude to her all night'. No SH*T."
"To top it off, at the end of the night, I started talking to a guy, and we were really hitting it off, and she came up and embarrassed me in front of him and insisted that we kissed and made it awkward."
– coldsheep3
Greedy
"My friend owns a very popular food truck in the south. She’s netting a half a million a year in revenue. She needed help for a big event, so I went down and worked for her this past July. I worked with one of her regular employees, and I asked how the tips were usually split up."
"The girl told me that my friend keeps every single tip, and that she’s never seen one. This girl is 20 years old and in college, and my friend is still taking a few hundred bucks from her. That money is a drop in the bucket for my friend, but life-changing for that girl. At that point, I realized true greed. Haven’t talked to her since."
– missmorganadams
There are unforgivable acts.
A Line Crossed Too Far
"He slept with my girlfriend, and they both gaslit me, telling me it wasn't a big deal 'she didnt think of me as her bf in her head.' ”
"And then sometime later she cheated on him, and he was surprised….."
– Honest-Advisegiver
Unwarranted Attack
"When he threw an unopened can of coke at a homeless person. He stopped being his friend right then and there, and I took the homeless woman to get food and gave her money to go get replacement clothes from Goodwill. I've never been so ashamed of someone before or after that."
– davethapeanut
Unfortunately, some of these conniving and unlikeable individuals mentioned in the above examples were once referred to as friends.
Clearly, there was enough admiration for Redditors to accept their friendship, but alas, it may have been under false pretenses or they saw an advantage and put on the guise of being likable.
But don't let these discourage you from seeing the good qualities in people that shine. People make mistakes and their momentary lapses in judgment shouldn't define them.
Not everyone is a waste of space in this wacky world.
