Sex is part of life.
Even if you spend most of your living days single, most of us still need to find a little one on one human contact.
It feeds the soul.
But as imperative as sex is, you have to choose wisely.
We compromise too much of ourselves when the sexy time is... just that good.
Redditor ya7ta wanted everyone to share about a life weakness that binds us all together by asking:
"What is the biggest red flag you had overlooked because the sex was good?"Sex can blind you to the people aren't willing to do the work.
They know what's going on, they are cognizent of their actions and they don't care, it's about them.
That is always a BURNING red flag.
Burning like fire.
Picture, Picture
The woman was married and I didn’t know, but I should have paid close attention to family portraits on the wall...
Horrible Person
Clear indications that she was racist (didn't approve of interracial relationships to "keep the race pure") and narcissistic as hell and had a league of "orbiters" around her.
In the end I was probably lucky the whole thing went down in just a week, some poor sods lose years to people like that.
White Noise
Doesn't appear to register a word I say, and sometimes just interrupts me mid-sentence with a remark of his own.
It's almost like I'm white noise sometimes.
GiphyYou just described my last ex.
Amazing in bed, but practically everything she said was a lie. I finally left when I realized she'd lied about her age, and I finally wasn't even sure she was honest about her last name.
Before you ask, just typical lies about how everything I liked was her favorite too, she was the same age as me, swore she even went to the same first concert as me 'Oh, my god, why couldn't we have met back then?!'
Then she'd have breakdowns and complain that she feels like she can't be herself and needs to constantly stroke my ego, which I beg her to stop doing and just be honest.
Then she'd lie about a whole separate set of things.
She even lied and said she knew how to play guitar. So, I brought a few guitars and practice amps over, thinking we could hammer out a song or just jam together.
She literally got to the point where we were sitting together, holding guitars, and I suggest a simple I,IV,V Blues progression to warm up over, and I play the first 12 bars, and she sort of pretends to strum along, and finally, FINALLY, breaks down crying and admits she doesn't know how to play guitar.
It was that absurd.
Giphythe focus...
Even after being married to my husband for almost 20 years my husband still gets annoyed with me over it. Back in the day they called it "inability to focus" as per my learning disabilities teachers paperwork.
Now it's called ADHD. I try to make my husband understand that I'm not trying to be rude or spiteful.
It's just how my mind works. I'd love to change it, it would make my life easier if I could. It's hard to make someone who has never dealt with this issue understand.
I'm not saying for a fact that this is his exact problem, but it sounds similar to my own husband's complaints about me. Just thought I'd offer some possible perspective.
Crazy is crazy, or at the very least... "off kilter."
If you sense they may take the extreme action of giving into delusional behavior, there is no shame in booking a one-way ticket out of dodge.
Don't let the carnal make you feel like you're the crazy one.
JUMP!
Jumped out of a moving car because she didn't like a restaurant in the direction we were headed. Most adventurous sex I ever had. Crazy in the head crazy in the bed.
GiphyOk X?
My ex got mad at me because she "always" chose where we ate. I said let's go to X, she said she didn't like X. I said how about Y? No, Y either. Same with Z, so I asked where she wanted to eat then since she didn't like any of my choices and we went there.
For Me?
He constantly wanted to do everything with me/for me. Don't go to the post office by yourself, I'll drive you! Don't get yourself dinner, I'll take you and we'll go together! Don't do X, I'll do it!
And then he'd get upset when I had already gone/didn't wait for his butt to wake up (he worked nights and often slept through a million calls)/had done whatever by myself or with friends, and claimed that he was worried about me.
He found a new squeeze and dumped me a month or so into this, but in hindsight he was really, really controlling and that was quite likely the start of something not-so-great.
Paranoia...
Everyone told me she was paranoid but she was a ballerina and her body was perfect. Her paranoia was strange in that she thought everyone was talking about her behind her back and lo and behold everyone was talking about her behind her back.
Everyone was talking about how paranoid she was. In my defense I told everyone that she technically wasn't paranoid if what she thought was happening was actually happening. Then she became paranoid of me sleeping around on her. Had to roll.
Some red flags are just so obvious and statement making that you there is no need to explain.
When you see them... run.
Run and never look back.
And if you do... don't be shocked down the road.
Leave Sober
She was insanely jealous and we'd fight all the time, but the sex was amazing.
I managed to break up with her, met her to get some things back. She asked to get a drinks, few hours later and the most intense sex ever, I ended up with her for another year.
I did finally end it.
Pearl Clutch
- owns a house with her ex-husband that she's still "friendly" with. Also I was never invited over.
- Nieces & nephews live with her, but brother doesn't regularly.
- Wanted to get a job with her ex.
Yeah, she got that job and is back with him. Shocked, I tell you.
The lesson we've learned? Sex is great.
Sex isn't everything though. Great sex is difficult to find, but we can go without until it comes with love or without strings.
Like, after you're done and it's post-coutal, you shouldn't be concerned about waking up the next morning.
And you shouldn't be stuck years later just because.... you named it.
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