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People Imagine What Their Warning Label Would Caution Others About Them

People Imagine What Their Warning Label Would Caution Others About Them
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Erica Diaz
By Erica DiazJul 22, 2019
Erica Diaz
Have you ever read something where you just KNOW the writer talks with their hands, does the sound effects, and would bust out a little dance if it suited the story? That's Erica. She's a colorful storyteller whose sense of humor and fearless honesty make a big impact. Her rants might go for the emotional jugular, hit your funny bone, or shock you and your mama out of your fajas. Usually it's all three. Often chronicling her life in Florida, her stories are full of characters like "Bikini Rifle Lady", "Mariachi Neighbor," and "Barbara The NextDoor Evangelist." There's almost always a message in the madness, and that's what people connect with most. Also her deep and undying love for Tevin Campbell. You can find more of her work at www.EricaFazio.com
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We live in a world where pretty much everything has a warning label - except maybe the thing that needs it most ...

Other. People.

Admit it, you're exhausted dealing with people who appear to be one thing but turn out to be something wildly different. Even worse - people who are totally cool until you find out they have one seriously major deal-breaking "quirk." Mine was a guy who was awesome until you were in a car with him and found out he would swerve all over the road to purposefully try and hit iguanas.

He didn't care that he was putting everyone else on the road in danger, he didn't care how upsetting it was for his passengers. He felt it was his "duty as a patriot" to kill them since they are invasive to our area.

I'm pretty sure everyone would have 100% appreciated a warning label on THAT guy.

Reddit user Mypulse asked:

From now on, everyone has a warning label displayed over their heads. What does yours say?

People's responses were surprisingly honest!

Who?

Giphy

"Will probably forget your name"

- SpudeGG

Just Awkward

Warning: Appears indifferent to everything you say but is actually just socially awkward.

- jaleneropepper

Condescending 

Warning: Can be very condescending! (that means he talks down to people)

- Demondujour

May Be A Vampire

Warning: Do Not expose to light or hot temperatures.

- TerpNinjee

Kegels

Giphy

Warning: Pisses self when laughs too hard.

Kegles ladies, kegles.

- Scottstot2013

Do Not Attempt

Warning: Thinks it's existence is a burden on others. It has very low self esteem, do not attempt to praise it.

- BerdFan

Closer Than It Appears

Warning: B*tchy side is closer than it appears.

- Dotdotdotcharming

Do Not Disturb

Warning: Crippling ADHD. DO NOT DISTURB.

- CeasarSallad

Huh? 

Warning: Probably has no idea what you just said so feel free to repeat yourself.

- PokyCivi

Look Away

Giphy

Warning: Dance moves are too fire and will burn you if you stare at them too long.

- Broccoli_Sucks

Percy

The girl who read Percy Jackson in fifth grade and thinks she knows everything about Greek mythology.

- Oliviasneezes

Extremely

Warning: EXTREMELY GAY

- Justherefordamememes

No Decaf

Warning: Unstable when decaffeinated. Proceed with caution.

- eternalrefuge86

Oversharer

Warning: Overshares, contains anxiety, struggles with self worth and fears panic attacks or any situation that could cause panic, hates driving, don't you hate it? Been in like six accidents. When I was younger I used to...

- Clearlynotahobbit

A Safe Distance

Giphy

Beware: Klutzy and Uncoordinated. Maintain distance.

- cocktail_adventures

Dairy 

Warning: releases noxious greenhouse gasses after consuming dairy.

- WTFishsauce

Parental Advisory

Parental Advisory

Explicit Lyrics.

- Benjimima

In Song Form

Warning, will talk about themself, in SONG form.

- anadacragamakala

No Hablo Ingles

Warning: I will pretend I don't speak English If I don't know you.

- WholeWheatPretzel

Every Dog

Giphy

Warning: only discuss politics if you're open to civil, impersonal conversation. And; she must stop to pet every dog she sees.

- helloth3r33212

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