Leave it to Beaver was a lie. No family is perfect.
In fact, we're all really more like "The Bear."
That's not to say these aren't great families.
It's just that some have darker "issues" than others.
When you're living in a certain atmosphere every day, you tend to not notice a family dynamic that isn't as normal as it should be.
It takes stepping out into the world and seeing other's dynamics at play to make you think... "Hm. Maybe WE have a problem."
That can be a harsh truth to grasp.
Redditor m1ntb3rrycrunchh wanted to hear about the moments when people caught on to their family's "oddities," so they asked:
"What made you realize that there was something 'off' about your family?"
So Rude
"When I realized I didn’t wanna bring my friends or future partners around them because I was afraid my family would be mean to them."
- moonsonthebath
Bill Murray Fight GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy
Running it All
"I realized my family was off when my mom encouraged my brother to in the street life, not for financial reasons, but genuinely just so she could brag (I don’t even know how it’s something to brag about but hey, ghetto communities) that her son was out there 'running s**t.' I only realized it was f**ked because of the TV shows and movies I saw of the family and friends trying to get the main character to LEAVE the street life, not join it."
- RScudda
Well, this is new!
"I went to a friend’s house after school one day, and her mum called us down for dinner. I was astonished that the whole family sat down at the table and ate together, and chatted and joked and laughed. They actually seemed to be ENJOYING each other’s company. There was no tension, no one was yelling or being sullen, and no hint of threat in the air. Just a simple fun dinner. Apparently, they did that every night! Shocking behavior. I privately thought her family was really weird for that, but once I started making more friends, I began to realize it was MY family that was ‘weird.'"
- saludpesetasamor
How Confusing
"When I heard a classmate's mom tell my parents about how much she adored me and how much I lit the room up with my personality, and that she was glad I was friends with her daughter. I never heard anyone in my family speak with that level of positivity and depth about anyone, including family. I was confused as to why I could leave an impact on essentially a woman I interacted with in passing, but my parents couldn't even remember what grade I was in."
- 3D_Otters
I'm Okay
"The first afternoon I spent with my best friends and now partner's family, I was six years old, and I fell and scraped my knee, as six-year-olds do. His dad rushed over and helped me up, telling me it’d be okay, I was okay, and that we’d go clean it up inside. I had never had an adult clean my cuts before. No one had ever taken care of me before, not since I was old enough to feed, dress, and bathe myself. I realized then that my parents were supposed to take care of me."
- tired-activist-s**t
No Touching!
"Seeing families hug each other. We’re a family that does not touch."
- Dejanerated
"Same here, I think I saw my parents hug twice and kiss once. No one ever hugged me. It took me a while to figure out how to do it, even now I'm weird about PDA and hugging other people, though I certainly want to be normal about it. Just stuff like giving my partner's mom a hug goodbye."
- Its_Curse
Season 4 Hug GIF by The OfficeGiphy
Just Like on TV
"I got to go over to a few other people's houses and realized that most people's houses really, basically, do look like the ones on TV. Sure the furniture may be cheaper, or maybe there's a little clutter, so more in the territory of Married: With Children, or Roseanne. But yeah all these other houses more resembled the houses on TV than my own. It turns out most parents aren't hoarders."
- PinkNGreenFluoride
Togetherness
"When I was probably about 7 or 8 I realized that other families spent time together on vacation… like, they would go do activities together and their kids didn’t just spend time hanging out with staff or locked up in the hotel room. When I was a kid and we went on vacation, it was clear that it was my parents who were 'on vacation,' we just got the privilege of tagging along. Our job was to spend as much time away from them as possible, and not need them for anything."
"Then I realized other families also spent time together when they weren’t on vacation. Like, I never realized that other families went for walks, or played together, or played sports together, etc outside of daily survival activities. I thought kids playing basketball with their dad was only a thing that happened in movies."
- sabdariffa
Hands Off
"When I was at my friend's house they just grabbed snacks from their pantry. The one at my house was always locked, and we were not allowed to get anything out of it. Things would rot."
- NoExplnations
"My mother would hide food and snacks from us and even lock up the cabinets and fridge. We would be super hungry. We would catch her eating a sandwich or burrito from the deli or taqueria, and she would basically feed herself first and give us the last bite."
- Sprinkles41510
She Ran Off
"The day my mother insisted I go to the bank with her, I didn't feel like going but she wouldn't take no for an answer. I was 18, and I accidentally slammed my thumb with the car door, it was bleeding and the nail was coming off so I got out to go take care of it and she was so angry that I wasn't going after all that she burned rubber leaving."
"No concern about me whatsoever, then or later on. I didn't have my keys though so I was locked out. I had to walk a mile to the neighbor's for help with my thumb. When I told them what happened, the look of horror on their faces told me none of that was normal."
- LucilleBluthsbroach
How Many Numbers?
"The first time. (This was in the '80's) We were doing a unit on the census so we filled out a census form. I knew I had a big family. But under 'number of telephones in the home' mine was 14 the next highest was 6."
- GlassCharacter179
Love And Hip Hop Reaction GIF by VH1Giphy
Do Nothing
"After my grandma passed away, I realized something that made my family weird: on my dad's side, we just don't do Death. No obituary, no funeral, no Facebook post. Just the legal stuff, and notifying family and the person's friends, cremate/bury, and ta-da! Zero fanfare."
"It's not the weirdest thing, but it's not something any of us were raised specifically to do or believe. It started, as far as I can remember, with my great-grandma and just... continued. Everyone on that side is super neurotic too, not quite enough to be bipolar, but enough to notice and trace through the lineage... lol."
- hereticallyeverafter
Random Fun Time
"When I spent an afternoon at my friend's house when I was about eight. Her dad randomly asked us if we wanted to do anything fun and he ended up teaching me how to play Monopoly and how to ride a bicycle. It was then that I realized that spending quality time with their kids is something that normal parents do. In our house, my parents would never do anything with us during their free time outside of going to the mall and eating out."
- yodelingllama
100% Fiction
"I watched Full House as a kid. Every time the kids got in trouble the guardians would calmly talk to them and give out some sort of punishment. I always thought I wished my parents would be like that all they did was scream at me until I cried if I did something bad. It took me until my 30s to realize that Full House was 100% fictional. Parents did actually gently punish their kids."
- LittleRileyBao
How Odd
"My friend's moms didn't start undressing and rolling around on the floor in front of the TV when they didn't get enough attention."
"That was odd to me."
- Unusual-Shopping1099
Performing Mtv GIFGiphy
The Other Family
"I always knew something was off in my family. I finally found out that my father had a mistress in another town. But with six kids to raise, my mother couldn't justify divorcing him. She only had a high school education."
- Distinct-Car-9124
Outcasts
"My parents are good people. But they don't have any friends. Self isolated in my opinion. Like they raised good kids and instilled morals in us kids but are ghosts in the community. Kinda weird to be social outcasts yet upstanding citizens."
- -Bk7
I do love it when some good, deep secrets are spilled. And y'all did not disappoint.
A sad life fact from all of this is that certain people should've never and should never procreate.
Bad parenting does so much damage.
People should be required to prove they're fit to care for other humans.
I hope everyone here has or will be able to find some kind of solace.
The therapy bills from this thread could keep the profession alive for generations.
