Google is a dangerous tool. It leads to the world of the internet that can be worrisome and vicious just as much as it is plentiful and full of knowledge. Our lives are an open book and our secrets just a key stroke and google search away. Go ahead and get it over with now... type in your name and pray.
Redditor u/MBMV wanted to know who has discovered a few tidbits about themselves by doing an "innocent" internet search by asking.....
DUH
Feeling Dumb Jim Carrey GIFGiphyLots of recordings of me asking the Google Assistant stupid questions.
Google has recordings of me saying: "Ok Google, tell me a joke" ... "That was the stupidest freaking joke I've ever heard in my life."
And you are?
That I'm a 64 year old woman.
I'm a 40 year old man.
I dunno....... see I don't know you but Google is pretty reliable.
Have you tried being a 64 year old woman?
The Mobile Issues
Found out my wife was addicted to a mobile game and had dropped $6500 on it over the last year and a half.
That set of a string of fun conversations.
My mom told me she was spending up to $600 a month on Facebook and mobile games. She used to be a millionaire, and she thought the oil checks would never stop coming- but they were getting smaller and smaller.
Then one day, they stopped. She lives with my sister now, works at a call center, pays no rent and almost had to declare bankruptcy. She still plays mobile and fb games non-stop, as soon as she gets off work she starts drinking and chain smoking cigarettes and playing her games. My sister keeps asking her where all her money goes, I keep telling her "games," and she won't believe me. shrugs.
Edit for clarity: she didn't spend millions of dollars on games, the games started after her money went down and they continued after she moved in with my sister and she had to get a job at a call center. A lot of her money goes to alcohol and cigarettes too (she smokes a pack a day and she smokes the expensive kind lmfao).
Data
star trek laughing GIFGiphyIf we're being honest, I was more horrified about looking through my own browsing data.
Turn off Web Search History and set your history to delete every 3 months.
Balance Off....
About a year ago I had a stroke. I only found out exactly when, after going through my Google history and finding that I googled "loss of balance sudden" right after that moment.
I was sitting on a bed in a bedroom one afternoon just working on my laptop and then it felt like someone was pushing my head down on the bed. For the first few minutes or even hours I tried going from room to room but would always lose my balance and collapse on a nearby bed or couch. I threw up a couple of times.
I thought I could sleep it off but I couldn't, thought I was hungry but just kept throwing up what I ate. Fortunately during this I managed to text my brother and he took me to the ER. It was an ischemic stroke of the cerebellum. My balance is still wonky to this day, and I've needed to relearn how to walk. Nowadays I use a wheelchair, walkers, or canes.
The Photobook....
Old naked pics of ex. I thought I deleted it, but Google stored in cloud. Weird.
Edit: stop asking about the photos, it is not funny.
That's because google backs up your mobile photos. On an android open up "google photos" and it will show all the images you've ever taken with your google account across all the android phones you've owned. Really it should be an opt in, not an opt out but theres merit for it being automatic like this. Photos can be precious to you so its good they get backed up.
"Hey Google"
The fact that they saved every link you visited if you use Chrome or Google. That's kind of screwed up. And hearing recordings of the google assistant, when you didn't even say "Hey Google." Oh, and a full track record of your location in coordinates with timestamps.
So they just save everywhere you have ever been as long as you don't turn it of in settings. I think it's the settings under the Maps History tab? I just turned of all of the privacy related stuff.
Same thing goes for YouTube btw, turning off video and search history seems to stop them from tracking your video history.
Directed.....
Latin GIF by Apple MusicGiphyA few years ago I downloaded all my Facebook data finding every direct message I'd ever sent was in there, many of which I had deleted from my account.
Too long didn't read terms of service.
It's a plugin for browsers and tells you tldrs of terms of service. Like how FB and Instagram and such don't delete your posts, they just keep it and hide it from you and whoever looks at your account.
The Unplanned....
It's mostly zipped files and i can't understand it but,
They appear to track my location several times per minute with the exact GPS coordinates. I think i turned location history off not sure if they still do.
They also for some reason had the movie "unplanned" listed with words like gross, distasteful, unsettling, which were an indication of my feelings about this movie. No other movies or TV shows where listed in this manner.
Interesting Convo
Cant Speak Nathan Fillion GIFGiphyRecordings of whole conversations where it thought I said ok Google and then kept recording for a half hour.
Classic mistake. I also sometimes think that someone said my name and then listen intently making notes on everything said for the next 30 minuets. Could happen to anyone really.
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.