There are few things more annoying than when you are seeking advice and someone responds with a boring platitude that helps no one. Believe it or not, if you choose to provide advice, it needs to be specific to the situation and shouldn't be dressed up in trite phrasing. Does saying, "Keep your head up" actually contribute anything if that's all you have to say when someone comes to you in search of a listening ear?
But this goes deeper than just advice, to be fair. Some of us are sick of greedy corporations that stress the importance of being a "family" while refusing to pay proper wages. Still more of us are tired of people using certain language when other language can suffice.
People shared their stories after Redditor goodison asked the online community,
"What phrase grinds your gears?"
"I have an uncle..."
"Only good vibes here."
I have an uncle who always says this. It used to crush me because he was the only other adult I could talk to when things were bad at home. We couldn't come to him with bad news ever.
Now when I hear it it's just toxic BS."
People who say that, in my experience, tend to be the most wishy-washy people in the world. Not worth it.
"Every day..."
"When my manager says "I can't control what the night shift does." Every day I walk into a mess from them and every day nothing gets done about it."
"I groan..."
"I'm not mean, I'm just brutally honest."
I groan whenever I hear that statement because it's doesn't make you any less of a jerk. Usually, people know how to separate insult from criticism but they choose not to."
This is probably the most telling phrase in existence. Are you brutally honest? Or are you just mean? Probably the latter.
"At any sort of conference..."
"At any sort of conference/gathering/presentation:
"How're you all doing today?!? C'mon, I know you can answer louder than that! HOW ARE YOU ALL DOING TODAY?!"
Instant resentment every time."
And if you don't keep up that energy, then you're just not a team player!
"At my work..."
"At my work upper management has started using the word "activate" a lot. As in, "We are working on plans to activate underutilized spaces." And, "Let's activate a few other teams on this." It just sounds silly to me and like they are trying too hard to avoid using simple, perfectly adequate language."
"The more appropriate thing to say..."
"Someone saying to a teenager, "These are the best years of your life!" I am in my mid-40s now and most people my age remember high school as horrible and awkward. The more appropriate thing to say is, "Hang in there kid! I promise life gets better. Just get through adolescence the best you can."
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"That's nothing..."
"That's nothing... " when I tell them something only for them to turn it onto a competition and say something worse that happened to them."
"I've heard it from people..."
"When you have your own children you'll understand."
"I've heard it from people who don't understand that I want nothing more than my own family but being pregnant will kill me, and when I bring up adoption as a valid way of having children they'll buckle down on that phrase as to say adopted kids are not the same. It's disheartening to hear as a formal foster child and has reinforced my beliefs that no one really saw me as enough. Why would you say that to someone? All kids are the same and those without kids shouldn't be dismissed."
Some people are better off never being parents. I know I don't want to have children either and it's a choice I don't regret.
"And I had to listen to..."
""God has a plan" or "It happened for a reason."
I lost my daughter when I was 36 weeks in because of a sudden placental abruption followed by a uterine rupture, lost 2.2 litres of blood. I can't carry again without risking the child or myself. And I had to listen to a variety of phrases that made me want to hit those people. Those two were the worst. Followed by "You can try again" or "Did you get the child baptized?" (got this one only once though)."
"Not everyone wants kids."
"When are you going to have kids?"
Who on earth are you to not only insist I should stop and redirect my whole life for kids, but then put me on the spot and make up a timetable to change my whole life? Not everyone wants kids."
Now that you've learned a thing or two you could say that all of the responses here are an exceptional opportunity to improve your social skills.
Don't say these. Please don't.
Have some of your own suggestions to share? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments below!
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@EdwardLawrence/X
