Narcissistic personality disorder, one of several different personality disorders, is characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, a lack of empathy, and an excessive need for attention and adoration. A narcissist's relationships can be quite troubled.
In short: Dealing with narcissists is exhausting.
So how to deal with it?
People offered their best advice (and personal experience) after Redditor GagliottiAngelia87 asked the online community,
"What causes the largest wounding to a narcissist?"
"If you ignore them..."
"If you ignore them, they can keep getting louder and crazier until eventually, you have to hand them a victory and pay attention. If you laugh at them, they might continue escalating, but that just makes it funnier and funnier. Pretty much every strategy they have at their disposal will backfire on them, and eventually, they'll realize that they just have to avoid you because you're not playing their game."
Since narcissists do thrive on attention, they will go where they can get it. If they can't get it from you, more often than not, they will become someone else's problem.
"Give them nothing..."
"The Grey Rock strategy. Give them nothing to latch onto and don't acknowledge them as far as possible."
Ignoring, huh? How would this work for people trapped in relationships with narcissists? Easier said than done, huh?
"Stay relaxed..."
"You can easily trigger them to kingdom come and back again just by sticking to three simple words. Whatever it is they go on about, your response is "Is that so?" Stay relaxed while they work themselves in a frenzy and go for more and more outrageous stuff, trying to get some response from you. Any response. Other than "Is that so?", of course. Feel free to develop a repertoire there. The condescending "Is that so?", the disinterested "Is that so?", the mocking "Is that so?"... Well, not wanting to curtail your creativity, I'll leave it to you to come up with more."
Ah, yes. the broken record approach. Might have to keep this one in my back pocket.
"Even bad press..."
"Stop talking about them. To anyone. Even bad press is good press to most of these people and you stay in their orbit until you stop."
"Their entire persona..."
"Repeat what they say, and chuckle to yourself. Their entire persona is predicated on a feeling that they are superior to others. Acting as if they are foolish would hurt their ego."
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And they definitely don't want that! Their ego is everything.
"If it's too late..."
"My strategy.
If I identify them as a narcissist, before we really know each other, I just don't talk to them.
If they can be reasoned with or I care about them, I'll reason with them as much as I can and try to help them.
If it's too late by the time i find out, I apologize for whatever problem brought this to my attention, even if it's their fault, and leave. I cut all ties without leaving a grudge or a gossip piece. No need to torture them or insult them; no judgment for the people who try to get back at them, I just prefer to be completely removed. That way I can continue just living a quiet life without losing any sleep over winning or losing any encounters with someone who clearly isn't worth the time."
"They feed on attention..."
"Ignoring them. They feed on attention, no matter the kind. They are dying to get reactions from people. Getting nothing but absolute silence and disregard drives them nuts."
"When they've finished..."
"When they've finished their yelling or ranting about whatever, just smile and say "that's adorable" and then don't address anything they were just yelling about."
Even that feels like it might be too much?
Do you have a narcisst in your life? Break the spell and stop giving them your focus. The sooner they realize your world won't revolve around them, the sooner you'll be free of them.
Just keep in mind: Accepting them for who they are will go a long way to protecting your peace of mind.
Have some opinions of your own? Have you dealt with a narcissist before? Feel free to share your experiences in the comments below!
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