Trumpers Convinced 'Patriot Front' Marchers In DC Were FBI Because None Of Them Were Obese

On Saturday, a group of men in masks and shin guards calling themselves "Patriot Front" marched on Washington DC with shields and American flags under a banner that read "Reclaim America."

By now, sights like this aren't exactly surprising—this is the umpteenth iteration of the various anti-democracy, pro-White nationalism groups obsessed with former Republican President Donald Trump that have gone to the capital to cause a spectacle.

But what is new is this time, they don't have the support of many of their fellow pro-Trump compatriots.

Because, you see, the MAGA minions think these guys were undercover FBI.

Why?

Because no one was obese.

Jacob Wohl

@TaraLaRosa/Twitter

@DineshDSouza/Twitter

@WendyRogersAZ/Twitter

Given their propensity to fall for essentially anything no matter how absurd so long as it is rooted in the idea they are being oppressed, it's not exactly surprising the MAGA crowd are falling for this one.

But even for this crowd, this particular furor is ridiculous.

Physical fitness and so-called "alpha males"—a designation which the movement's own definition requires a dedication to fitness—have been core obsessions of Trump-obsessed far-right and White nationalist groups for years. You don't see many overweight Proud Boys either, but nobody doubts their allegiance.

But it wasn't just their svelte physiques that had MAGA bots convinced Patriot Front is fake. Several far-right figures cited the group's ultra-coordinated appearance and the fact they claim to have never heard of Patriot Front as reasons they believe the recent march was an FBI ruse.

But this is even more absurd than the obesity rationale. 

Even the most cursory research reveals not only is Patriot Front not new, it was one of the group's members, Alex Fields, who drove his car into a crowd at the 2017 "Unite the Right" rally in Charlottesville, Virginia and killed Heather Heyer—whose weight, by the way, has been an obsession among White nationalists ever since.

Unsurprisingly, right-wingers clearly didn't bother to simply Google the group.

Right-wing circles online immediately filled up with takes about how Patriot Front simply has to be an FBI psy-op. Podcaster Joe Rogan went into a lengthy rant about it on a recent episode of his podcast.

QAnon and MAGA devoted Georgia Republican Representative Marjorie Taylor-Greene also claimed to neither know nor believe in Patriot Front for similar reasons.

On Twitter, those with a foot still planted in reality were astonished by the absurdity of the claims. 

Of course, with the right-wing's sustained campaign of claiming the January 6 insurrection was also an FBI and CIA psy-op having been so successful among themselves, we should all get used to these sorts of absurd claims.

They probably aren't going anywhere.