Kids pick up the behaviors exhibited by the adults around them, but the same can also be said of parents who look to others for tips on how to raise their children.
Social media is hugely responsible for trending activities that can easily influence a first-time parent looking for guidance.
But everyone's parenting experience is different depending on the individual child and the surrounding environment.
Exploring why some of these common child-rearing practices are not for everyone, Redditor Sam_21000 asked:
"What parenting 'trend' you strongly disagree with?"
The following parental trends were not viewed favorably.
Temper Tantrum On Display
"Posting videos of your autistic kid having a meltdown or just as a prop for likes."
– antifashkenazi
Limited Communication
"My neighbour’s daughter is a 'crunchy mom' wannabe influencer. Daughter will not allow adjectives to be used when speaking with her toddler or baby. They are supposed to discover descriptive words through exploration of their environment. I’m sort of unclear on how they are supposed to discover words that are never spoken, like colours or size or shape."
– kittens_in_the_wall
Following Others' Lead
"disciplining children based on what other parents are doing. What works for 1 kid won’t work for others."
– Background_Neck8739
Discipline Effectiveness
"Boy was that a hard lesson when my kids were younger. What worked for one most definitely did not work for the other. One found it torturous to be separated from the action (time out in bedroom), while the other would be like, 'WAHOOO!!! alone time!'"
– 2boredtocare
Coddling
"My father in law made sure his daughters (my sisters in law) never had to experience a single consequence or reaction for their mistakes. They are adults in their late 20s now and both cannot handle the slightest gust of wind. They are very immature and developmentally arrested. One of them has never worked or paid a bill, and this is not a rich family."
– allthebacon_and_eggs
Running Wild
"Letting your kids scream and jump around the restaurant while pretending it’s not going on."
– Cloudy_mood
Some people found these child-rearing tactics psychologically damaging.
Too Much Visibility
"Posting the child's entire life on social media. It's one thing to include a family picture with everyone. But putting a child's entire life online, without their consent, isn't good."
"Especially when it's about what they've done wrong. Public internet shaming is one of the worst things one can do to a child, because who knows whether that will follow that poor kid around for years. When the cyber-bullying is coming from inside their own house, nowhere is safe. (And that's not even getting to the people who "prank" their kids and make them miserable for the views.)"
– Funandgeeky
Being Influencers
"Family youtube channels are the worst. It's just child exploitation."
– Golden_Phi
Encouraging Competition
"Idk if this is a trend or not, but it's very common. Comparing your child to others. It doesn't matter if they're siblings, friends, etc. That f**ks up their self-esteem and turns everything into a competition."
– Amino_Blank
Gossipy Family
"As a teenager, I absolutely hate how family members will spill private secrets and constantly complain and make jokes about you on the telephone or when families gather. Also responding to you in a very snotty attitude. I think that's a big reason I am insecure and have social anxiety."
Destroying Property
"Destruction of a child's property. I recognize that most videos of Generic Angry Parent smashing a child's gaming console (or whatever) are staged."
"But not all of them are. And most real incidents are never recorded."
"If your child requires discipline, you give them a timeout, ground them, temporarily revoke their privileges, assign them extra chores or whatever. But you NEVER destroy their possessions."
"Their property may not mean much to you. But it means a lot to them. Destroying it because you don't know how to manage your temper is wrong in every possible way. If you do that then you're a bad parent and I judge you for it."
– OhYeahThrowItAway
Parents have differing views on play time.
Zero Interaction
"My sister in law preoccupies her kid, and has since birth with a tablet. he is now 12 and has no friends and zero interpersonal skills. He takes his iPad to dinner, to grandmas, to church and never talks to anyone."
"it's very sad to see."
– groverwood
Strict Supervision
"My wife and I are basically neighborhood pariahs because we allow our children to ride their bikes around our quiet, low crime suburban town. I've had a parent flat out tell me he won't allow his son to come over without him because I might do something crazy like let them shoot hoops on the basketball net out front without standing there watching them."
"Children need a little bit of freedom. You can't be expected to make grown up decisions when you never had the opportunity to make child decisions."
– NotTheRealWillSmith
Keeping A Short Leash
"Extremely strict rules in general. I had a childhood friend that came over after school once and he said he had to be home by 6. Didn't think much of it so we lost track of time playing games. He lived about a 10 minute walk up the street and he noticed it was 5:52, then started freaking out. 'My dad's gonna kill me if I'm late!' I tried saying he wouldn't care about 2 mins. The next day in school my friend said he wasn't allowed over my house anymore, and I never hung out with him again, all over this kid being 2 mins late getting home."
– The_Blackest_Man
Tight Schedule
"Over scheduling activities. When I was teaching, I remember my kindergartners telling me they had no time to play because every day consisted of non-stop structured sports, dance and such."
– Kitchen-Witching
"Putting your kids in as many programs as possible. Assuming that it's your job to help them find their 'thing' so they can be happy and successful in life. I think it just makes kids over busy, stressed, unable to explore freely in down time, not know what to do with stillness."
– revmo31
Absolutely No Falling
"Making your child terrified to fail. I gave up on so many things because I repeatedly got called 'f'kin’ idiot' if I wasn’t instantly an expert."
– ItsPaulKerseysCar
There is no definitive guidebook to successful parenting.
However, watching other families and tracking their online activity might not be the best resource in determining what is the right way to raise your kids.
It stands to reason that built-in common sense and parental instincts should not be ignored in favor of what's trending in a family/parenting group on a social media page.
Cut yourself some slack, first-time parents. You got this.
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