My Father was the golden child in his family. Not just with his Mother, but his Sisters, Aunties, Uncles, Grandparents, Cousins...
It was always odd visiting his family and seeing their adoration of him. He could be selfish and stubborn. Tantrums were a possibility.
He was highly intelligent, but emotionally and socially like a high-functioning toddler.
He required a full-time babysitter to survive. He couldn't feed himself or pay his bills or clean up after himself.
He went to a mandatory Indian boarding school as a 4-year-old, then into the Navy at 17, then got married. Someone was always around to provide food, housing, and his other daily needs.
My Mother wasn't interested in having a fourth child, so when he retired from the Navy and began to be home instead of deployed for months, they got divorced.
My stepmother loved him being so helpless and dependent. They were far more compatible.
I don't know if it's because he was spoiled by his family, who thought he could do no wrong, or because he was a neurodivergent narcissist, but he never really grew up. Probably a little of column A, a little of column B.
Reddit user WPBcrazy asked:
"Siblings of the golden child, when did your parents' favoritism come back to bite them? What was the aftermath?"
Former Mama's Boy
"My brother was the golden child. Youngest, only boy that my mother was so desperate to have. And honestly, he’s great. Respectful, kind, happy."
"He just got married and my mother HATES his wife."
"So now, after some comments that she really can’t walk back, my mom is low contact with my brother and it’s driving her absolutely insane."
"I’m just so happy that my brother has turned out so well, and that he is doing the absolute right thing and refusing to be the forever momma's boy and defending his wife and her right to peace."
~ AuntieKitKat
He Lives There For Free
"My parents see my brother as their golden child, and through all his f*ckups they still have not changed their minds. My brother is 33, failed out of college twice, and can’t hold a (menial) job for more than a few months at a time."
"He sleeps all day, does not help around the house, and lives in filth. My parents have multiple homes, and my brother mostly lives alone in one of them. He trashes it and expects them to clean it up."
"Which they do. They go to that home every month to clean it up and to make sure he has enough food. He lives there for free. They pay the mortgage and the utilities and mostly leave him alone."
"He’s stolen money from them and used it to travel internationally. He has no concept of money and believes it just appears in front of him, because my parents pay for everything he needs."
"He spends their money like crazy because more money just appears instantly, and he has no appreciation for how hard my parents work to get that money. My parents can’t retire because he just keeps spending."
"My mom has already told me that when they pass, my brother is inheriting a majority of their estate because he needs it more. I’m the more responsible one so therefore I must not need the money as much, so they won’t be splitting it between us 50/50."
"Don’t get me wrong, my parents have helped me out as well. I lived in one of their homes with my husband for 5 years while we saved money for our own home. But we paid rent and utilities."
"When we were finally in the process of buying a home, my brother decided he wanted to live in our rented house instead, and tried to kick us out. When we went to the house to pack up our belongings because we were afraid he wouldn’t let us back in, he tried to say it all belonged to him now."
"When I argued with him that everything in the house was bought with the hard-earned money from my husband and I, he argued back, 'So what? You can just make more money and buy new stuff'."
"Like I said, no understanding of the concept of money and a hard-earned dollar. I was also 6 months pregnant at the time, and he made threats towards my unborn baby."
"We later found out it was because he was having a mental breakdown from refusing to take his meds, which my parents used as an excuse as to why I should forgive him for his behavior. He has never once acted like he was in the wrong and has never apologized."
"I completely cut off ties with him and disowned him as my brother, vowing to never allow him to have a relationship with my son. That was over 2 years ago. My mom has repeatedly overstepped my boundaries regarding this and has invited my brother to see my son on multiple occasions."
"I’ve already started rambling too much, but I’ve only begun to scratch the surface on all of my brother’s f*ckups. I could literally write a book on all the things he’s done that my parents have overlooked."
"It’s gotten to the point where I no longer care if they work themselves to the bone to support their golden child. He can have the entire inheritance for all I care."
"He’s just going to spend it all in record time after they’re no longer on this earth. They did this to themselves."
~ pommomwow
It's Exhausting For My Parents
"My sibling turned into a grown up a**hole. They never do housework, will not pay rent if they can get away with it, will not clean up to the point where their living area looks like a hoarder lives there- and just says they will get a maid, is entitled to other people’s things and always feels like they’re feelings are the most valuable."
"They never admit to doing anything, never apologizes, and will cry if you call them out. They have no friends because people just don’t have time to waste on something like that."
"I’m almost ten years younger and they 'mimic' my behavior in public. I confronted them about it and they blamed it on undiagnosed autism and a wide host of excuses."
"It’s exhausting for my parents, but my sibling hasn’t, and won’t, move out of my parent's house. They can’t. They literally can not adult correctly because my parents did everything for them growing up."
"They have homework they’re not doing? My parents would do it. They need to sign up for college and financial aid, my parents did all of it. All of their cars were bought by my parents. Bills overdue, yep my parents paid them off."
"My sibling is in her late 30s, and she is stuck at a 15-year-old mentality."
~ bed_bound_and_sleepy
I Doubt Him
"My sibling is genuinely successful, a kind and brilliant man, he has achieved every kind of success a man could. I could only develop a relationship with him after our parents died."
"He has been nurtured and grown to be wonderful. He is wonderful. I love him. He loves me."
"He tells me I’m better than I think I am. I doubt him. It has taken 50 years to get here."
~ StVincentBlues
52 Different Doctors
"My mother was a narcissist and delusional. She pulled my sister into being the adult of the family by the time she was 12."
"She had to protect her and listen to all of her crazy stories about how everyone was out to get her. But my sister could do no wrong. She was the perfect golden child of the family. So, she never connected the dots that my mom was seriously mentally ill."
"When my mom died, my sister had a nervous breakdown once all of the ongoing stress let off, decided she had lead poisoning from paint, and that she was allergic to everything on earth. She got to the point where all she would eat is baby food and had hysterical blindness."
"She went to 52 different doctors and finally found some quack who charged her over $100,000 for chelation."
"My mom had essentially made her a mini-me, and she was lost."
~ EmmelineTx
If He Stayed On His Meds
"My brother has mental health issues, but would be fine if he stayed on his meds and wasn’t coddled excessively. He’s 30 still lives with my parents and has zero prospects."
"I’ve made it clear that when my parents die I’m not digging him out of the hole they all dug together."
~ rcw16
Grandparents Didn't Learn Anything
"My biological grandfather died when my mother and oldest uncle were small children. My grandmother was only 18 years old at the time and remarried fast."
"Her new husband was my grandfather's cousin and he was praised for taking a widow with children as his bride. Pretty soon their golden child (let's call him Mark) was born."
"While my mother and her full brother always had to do chores, had to work at their relative's farm during holidays, and basically had to listen to my step-grandfather's tyrannical rules, Mark was spoiled."
"He never had to work, was driven to school, and always got away with everything. My mother and uncle were always blamed whenever Mark had done anything bad."
"Years went on and eventually, he was arrested while under the influence of several drugs. My grandparents blamed the bar where Mark had been partying that evening."
"They must have slipped those drugs into his drink because their precious son would never do anything wrong. The worst thing about it however was that Mark did once again get away with it without a scratch."
"Mark ended up marrying his now ex-wife because he had gotten her pregnant at 17 while he was 27. The girl came from a rather unsavoury family and they used an old loophole in local regulations to allow the wedding."
"They had a very turbulent relationship that produced three children. Ten years ago his ex-wife filed for divorce. Because Mark couldn't bother taking care of the children and she wanted a clean slate, my three cousins were dropped off at my grandparents' house."
"My aging grandparents (both 74) have had to move on from Mark. He was arrested during a raid on a drug dealing ring and was sent to prison for 13 years."
"My grandparents however didn't learn anything from this experience and continued to pick favourites. His first child has gone no contact with him and our grandparents after being made into the new 'maid'."
"She's now living in her college dorm and is making something of herself. His second child became the new golden child. He still lives with my grandparents and refuses to go to school anymore."
"He is 20 years old and has no high school degree, doesn't do anything but game, party, does drugs daily, and openly abuses my grandparents and their blind devotion. The third child was forced to go and beg his mother to take him in."
"My grandparents made a couple of lame excuses why he and he alone had to leave their home. He's 17 years old and knows that his mother is kicking him out as soon as he's turning 18. She doesn't want to be reminded of her old life with Mark and only does the bare minimum for her child."
"No lessons were learned and now they are repeating their mistakes with the new generation—their grandchildren."
~ Leadfoot_Fred
Whatever He Wanted
"My brother and I have a running theory that he’s my mom’s favorite and I’m my dad’s favorite. Being my dad’s favorite just meant he spent a couple more minutes talking to me while growing up and coached my softball team."
"But being my mom’s favorite meant my brother got whatever he wanted."
"Up until high school, all I ever wanted was to go to Disney World, but my parents either never wanted to or said we didn’t have money. I remember saving aluminum cans to recycle them to try to earn money so we could go."
"My brother (who is a few years younger) never cared about going; he was happy just being holed up in his room playing video games. Never once did he ever say he wanted to go too."
"I never did end up going to Disney World, but right after my brother graduated high school, they called me up to tell me they were taking him to Disney World as a graduation gift because 'that’s all he ever wanted as a child'."
"They were even flying there, and flying in an airplane was also something I wanted to do as a kid and never got to do. By the way, they did not invite me on this trip (I was around 20 at the time.). They were just calling to tell me they were going."
"They ended up staying a whole week there. When they got back, I asked how it went, and they said he was miserable the whole time, complained about the heat, and just wanted to stay inside the hotel and play video games."
"This was over 15 years ago now, and a couple of years ago, I finally worked up the courage to tell my mom how that made me feel that I never got to go, but he did. She then claimed that I never told her I wanted to go (not true)."
"When I denied that and said I told her multiple times, she tried to claim that I was invited on their trip too, but I told her I didn’t want to go (not true)."
~ quackedup_
I Washed My Hands Of It
"My sister was the golden child. She also has mental issues (could function as a perfectly regular adult if they hadn't coddled he so much).
"My mom has passed, but she lives with my dad. Recently, she tried to burn his house down, sold his truck, stole all of his money, and beat the sh*t out of him."
"I live out of state, so I called APS about her bullsh*t. Called him and told him to let them help him. He just told me, 'Well, maybe you're wrong'. And told the SUPER sweet APS lady that everything was fine."
"I washed my hands of it. I'm expecting a call within the next few years letting me know that she has killed him. The whole family just turns a blind eye to everything she does."
"We used to be a really close-knit lower middle-class family. Now everyone is bankrupt and on drugs. I wish I could say I was being dramatic when I say every. Single. Instance. Of these issues can be traced back to my sister."
"I got out of there and will never go back."
~ BerriesLafontaine
Drunk Driver
"She died in a one car drunk driving accident. She was the drunk driver."
"This is my fear. My youngest sister is the golden child and is a functioning alcoholic."
"Despite already having one DUI under her belt, our mother is in denial. I honestly believe this is my baby sister’s future."
~ Samiiiibabetake2
"This happened to another family at my elementary school. One of my classmate's older brother was the golden child, not just in his family but in the school."
"One weekend when he was 17, he got drunk and crashed his car, killing himself and a passenger and causing a third occupant to be disabled for life (he recently passed away, about 15 years after the crash)."
"Everyone got real quiet about the golden boy, even though the tragedy was very foreseeable and preventable."
~ Responsible-Onion860
She Denied It
"My mother was an alcoholic and a narcissist. Growing up, she clearly favoured my brother. Other family members saw it and acknowledged it, she denied it."
"Eventually my brother got set up with a good job, my parents bought him a nice car, he met a nice girl etc. Meanwhile my mother got worse, drunk every now and then became drunk every weekend, then every second or third day."
"As things got worse, she went from emotional to erratic, then finally became outright abusive. What really stung was that as her alcoholism and mental health issues got worse, she'd still manage to hold it together whenever she was around my brother, she could control herself, She just chose not to. He saw through it."
"By the time my mother died, my brother had cut her off completely. She'd spent her whole life lifting him up, neglecting everyone else, including herself, and he ended up looking down at her in disgust."
~ -CuriousityBot-
Means Something To Your Sister
"My sister became an alcoholic and a drug addict. I think the moment that really smacked my mom in the face was when her mom died, she gave me nothing and my sister her pick of the family jewelry because 'that kind of stuff means something to your sister'."
"My sister pawned it all, then ran off to be homeless so she could indulge her addiction without criticism. She has been in and out of prison for the last decade, which was the only time we knew for sure she was alive."
"But hey, she's clean now. It will be different this time, my mother assures me, while sending her money and valuables like a laptop and brand new smartphone. I'm sure that's not going to end in tears..."
~ MorganaLeFaye
Unemployed Alcoholic
"My brother the Golden Child is now a 50-year-old unemployed alcoholic. He never finished high school, but was considered so much smarter and better looking than the other four of us."
"Mum blew so much smoke up his arse that he never achieved anything as he didn’t ever think he had to try. Completely poisoned his life."
~ Crass_237
Wasn't My Bio Dad
"My little brother was always treated better. Vacations, hobbies, vehicles, gifts. He was a spoiled brat."
"I didn't find out until later that my dad wasn't my bio dad. This definitely put things in perspective once I found out."
"Growing up, I had a huge gap between my two front teeth. When my adult teeth came in, it got bigger. My parents always said they didn't have the money to fix it."
"But when my brother wanted to become a bull rider, they suddenly had thousands of dollars for lessons, gear, and travel expenses. I guessed they spent close to $40,000 the first 2 years he was doing it."
"Meanwhile, I just wanted braces. The cost of the braces was going to be about $2,500."
"He also got a brand new truck when he turned 16. I had gotten a busted up conversion van that barely ran and wasn't safe to drive."
"It all bit them in the a** when my brother got a DUI in Texas. Texas does not f*ck around. My parents suddenly couldn't buy his way out of trouble."
"He did 3 weeks in county jail for it. 6 months after he gets out, he gets pulled over again, and this time gets a DUI, littering, evading police, and hefty speeding ticket. Someone from our city found out and blasted it all over Facebook."
"My parents told me not to talk about it, and boy, did I ignore that. They spent thousands in legal fees, and their reputation was ruined."
"I laughed in their faces and told them what fun it must be to have such a wonderful child."
~ malitove
Long-Awaited Baby
"I've got a late-in-life-miracle-baby-only-child cousin who has had an interesting time of this."
Wealthy family, long-awaited baby, he was given top-of-the-line consoles and computers from the age of three, a bedroom, and a playroom—which was so full of toys by the time he started preschool that his parents had to ask everyone to stop sending him toys as gifts..."
"...because he was bought a gift every single time they went anywhere. His mom was just incapable of saying no to her little prince. Every trip to the shoe shop or the supermarket was another new toy."
"He just never had to do anything that he didn't want to do."
"Forget about chores and homework. When he wanted to sit up all night playing WoW and sleep through the school day because he 'didn't feel well' that was fine."
"His parents would throw money at literally anything he showed any interest in."
"He played a snowboarding videogame for a while so they bought him full skiing and snowboarding gear and they all flew out to the slopes several times... where he sat in the lodge playing videogames on his laptop."
"They kitted him out with everything you could dream of for a couple of martial arts, golf, a few musical instruments, probably a bunch of other stuff I never heard about."
"But he knew he was destined to be a professional gamer, so why would he bother with anything else? Gaming was his ticket to fame and glory."
"How did all this play out? it turns out that if you do that through most of your teens... you fail out of school at 16 no matter how unbelievably smart your mom thinks you are."
"He's 25 now, still at home, and to the best of my knowledge he still hasn't completed his high school diploma or any equivalent studies. He's never held down a job, and hasn't completed any of the apprenticeships or placements that his parents have organised for him over the years."
"His mom still does everything for him, but he's f*cking miserable. He's distraught. He doesn't know anything. He isn't good at anything. He can't do anything."
"He's got no friends—everyone he was friendly with went off to university, got jobs, are starting to settle down with partners, or travel the world. They're off living their adult lives and he's at home with his mom making his lunch for him every day."
~ butwhatsmyname
Did your family play favorites? What was the fallout?
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