Content warning: abuse and suicide.
There is a level of devastation caused by being cheated on by a partner, especially if it's someone you trusted and have been with for a long time that people who haven't experienced it can't understand.
I've been lucky in that I've never been cheated on myself, but I've had friends who have gone through it. My college roommate told me it was the worst pain she's ever been in when she found out her boyfriend cheated on her, and she couldn't imagine anything worse.
It was indeed horrible. My confident, strong roommate was crying all the time and wondering why she wasn't good enough to keep her boyfriend's interest, even though that had nothing to with it.
Redditors agree that being cheated on is painful, but also are prepared to share things they think are emotionally more painful.
It all started when Redditor Darkterrariafort asked:
"What is something more emotionally painful than getting cheated on?"
Medical Helplessness
"Watching your most precious person die a painful and scary death and knowing there’s nothing you can do about it. F**k cancer."
– coastalliving40
"This. I watched my husband starve to death from gastroesophageal cancer."
"It was like watching a nightmare repeat of my dad all over again. 😞"
– NedsAtomicDB
Mama Who Bore Me
"Death of your child."
– NBA_Fan_76
"I truly cannot imagine a deeper pain."
– theawkwardmermaid
"Your child being serious injured by your ex, and custody court keeps forcing the kid into contact with their abuser."
"You spend years of your life dealing with court homework where you recount every excruciating detail of your own abuse at the hands of this person, in addition to the crimes against your child."
"It costs you about $100,000 in legal fees, and you still aren't able to protect your child. It keeps going on indefinitely, and perversely, your ex tries to send you to jail because the child runs away from them."
– JadeGrapes
"Being responsible for your childs death directly."
– Kanulie
"My father passed very suddenly and unexpectedly two summers ago. It was the deepest, unimaginable despair that it was almost like a dream. Being walked to the little room at the hospital where they let you know he didn’t make it on the ambulance ride was surreal and up to that point the worst moment in my life."
"One month after he passed, I was in a four wheeler accident with my then three year old. And we were alone as my husband was out of town. I wasn’t being negligent- it was just a terrible, terrible accident. But, in the chaos of being thrown off and being in complete shock, I thought the four wheeler was pinning her down. I was screaming at the top of my lungs and crying and trying everything I could to lift it up. Remaining calm simply wasn’t a possibility when you think you’re killing your own child."
"She wasn’t pinned-and actually didn’t have a scratch on her. EMT checked her out and I went to the hospital because I had ripped the top part of my thigh off trying to lift the ATV."
"The whole thing was eye-opening in the worst way possible. Because, I could never, ever, ever, ever imagine losing my daughter- especially to my own fault. What if she had been hurt or died that day? I would be living in my own constant hell. I didn’t think there could be worst pain that when I lost my dad, but now I know there is. Just the thought alone of losing my daughter brings tears to my eyes."
"Life is really rough sometimes. But it gets better."
– BoredMillennialMommy
Going Down
"Seeing a loved one go on a downward spiral and you can do nothing to stop it."
– New_me_old_self
"Extension of your comment: Seeing a close one(wronged by their protectors) going down the spiral."
"You tried to help them a lot but they dragged you down with them and left you not just empty but drained."
– Sullen_Wretch
So Hard
"Suicide bereavement."
"I lost my best friend in 2022. Found him. Everyday is a struggle to not be in my grief."
"I’d take 100 heartbreaks, 100 nights of going to bed hungry, and 100 punches right to the face just to have him back."
– KatastropheKraut
"It does. I got wasted and said far too much about myself once. One of my friends verbally smacked the f**k out of me, got me to see that people do care about me and that my relationships aren't all just superficial, really just hit my sorry a** over and over again with the idea that I'm deserving of love not because other people get something out of being with me but because I am a human being, and it slowly does get better."
"It stopped me, I was going to kill myself in two months on new year's."
"When I can't live for myself, I live for other people, even when I start doubting other people actually like me, I still don't do it or hurt myself at all, because there's always, no matter what I feel in the moment, a chance that they do truly just care about me."
"If I end myself now then I give so many other people survivor's guilt, I leave all the people I care about wondering for the rest of their lives how it all could've been different if they had just tried a little bit harder to help me. I won't elaborate now but I feel a similar sort of regret when it comes to a number of aspects of my own life. I could never leave someone with something so unfathomably more painful than that."
– pissandsh*tlord
Sounds Awful
"Mental instability. It's cruel because it's your own mind killing you, you can't run or hide and it's long-winded. I couldn't say a single event has been more emotionally stressful than what's happening."
– Country-Road--
"It’s like you’re dead in your twenties but haven’t been buried til you’re 65."
– Gmr33
Tragedy You Never Get Over
"Having your mother pass away in your arms."
– Repulsive_Cricket923
"Something similar happened to me when i was 4. My parents sent me over to get babysat by my grandmother and she sat on a chair and passed as i was sitting on the floor playing with my toys. I only thought she was sleeping at the time, but later learned the truth as i never saw her again."
– Lucidnuts
Just Done
"As far as relationships go, being abandoned by your former partner is pretty damn painful."
– heyitsvonage
"Mine did this to me after 2.5 years and it was f**king devastating, it took years to get over. He acted as though everything was fine, I was his everything, we were actively planning how we would elope after I finished my degree that term, and BOOM NO DO-OVERS YA DONE."
"It was immediately what came to my mind when I saw this post."
– paprikashi
My Work
"When someone steals your research, hands it in first, gets the high distinction, then everything you submit is plagiarizing that a**hat."
– StaunchMeerkat
"This is two steps worse than, "hey can you put my name on your paper too.""
– karmagod13000
Rather Be Cheated On
"When the person stays with you but they secretly still yearn for that other person (even if no cheating occurs)."
– Deleted User
I actually didn't think there was anything worse than being cheated on after watching my friends go through it.
I stand corrected.
Do you have any stories to share? Let us know in the comments below.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988.
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
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