As young students, a good majority thought history was the most boring subject to study in school.
Not everything can be covered when there are so many significant historical events throughout time. However, the naughty bits of historical facts are often glossed over or forgotten.
History can become one of the most amusing subjects if teachers weren't so demure or modest.
Curious to be reminded about events in time that made us blush, Redditor randomuser8724 asked:
"What's a nsfw piece of history everyone has forgotten about?"
Sex gives history flavor.
Sex Marathon
"Raphael, the Renaissance painter the Ninja Turtle is named after, died after having sex with his mistress for an entire day without stopping."
– wemustkungfufight
Proud Paramour
"When then President of Indonesia Soekarno visited the Soviet Union the KGB thought that it would be a good idea to send a honey trap. "
"They hired two escorts to 'entertain' him and recorded the acts using a spy camera. When blackmailed President Soekarno laughed at the agents and asked them to send him the tapes so that he can watch it back home."
– ilhamalfatihah16
The Gay Initiative
"The Newport Sex Scandal."
"The Navy heard that there was a common spot where enlisted and civilian men who have sex with men would go for hookups or relationships. To investigate, they sent enlisted personnel to gather intelligence, which resulted in them soliciting sex and participating in the same 'immoral acts' that they were trying to criminalize."
"This led to embarrassment for the Navy, local clergy (many of whom had been discovered engaging in homosexual behavior during the investigation), and political fallout for those in charge of the investigation."
"Hey, we need to figure out if enlisted men are trying to have sex with each other at the Army and Navy YMCA."
"Got it, well let's send some enlisted men to the Army and Navy YMCA to try to have sex with other men, and we'll keep track of who goes for it"
– stargazer8968
Musical Genius Secret
"Mozart. Loved. Farts and poop jokes. Loved 'em. Read some of his weird letters he sent to friends that were just filled with poop and fart jokes."
– anon
Members Pointing The Way
"In Ancient Pompeii, the way they would direct you towards the nearest brothel was with a penis engraved into the pavement and walls pointing the way towards it."
"The engravings survived the volcanic eruption, so if you go to Pompeii today you will find the paths literally paved with dicks."
–killingjoke96
King Ferdinand VII
"The reason women can be queen in spain is due to king fernando vii who despite 4 or 5 marriages was only able to have one child, a girl. This is what they teach us in school."
"Turns out, the reason he had so much trouble having children is due to the size of his penis. It was absolutely ginormous. It was a foot in length, the tip as thick as a grown man's fist and the base as thin as a pencil. One of his wives ran away during the wedding night when she saw it, another literally pissed herself out of fear."
"He could not have sex without significantly injuring the woman. During his last marriage someone (doctor i think?) invented a cushion thingy that he could use to somehow get himself inside his wife without risking her life. Yada yada yada, he had one daughter and died soon after, now we can have queens."
– Weaknesses13
Some events erred on the creepier side.
Mummy Dearerst
"King Ferdinand I, or Ferrante, of Naples kept a so called black museum of the mummified remains of his personal and political enemies."
"He had them dressed and arranged in various scenes and would often show off the museum to potential rivals/enemies he hadn’t yet killed off. So yeah, pretty messed up."
– tlind1990
"We would have more mummies nowadays if the victorians didn’t eat them all."
– Helpful_Finding78
"Heard also they would pound them to dust and use them , mixed with paint, to paint their home. ( cit. Needed)"
– theangryjoe1918
"Yeah they used it to make a brown pigment called Mummy Brown. It was more used by artists rather than as a house paint though."
– reichrunner
Fine Line Between Grief & Sex
"Mary Shelley, the author of Frankenstein, apparently lost her virginity on her mother’s grave."
– Maleficent_Nobody_75
"The proof that unstable goth babes are not a recent invention. She also probably wrote Frankenstein in a crazy Bender with other authors also writing."
– Edstructor115
"I love this part. While drinking and using a mixture of laudum and cocaine they wrote stories all night. Frankenstein was written as part of a dare, that may have included sexual acts if she couldn't win."
– Becca30thcentury
There can never be enough of a good time.
Leading With His Cockpit
"The inventor of the autopilot crashed his plane while attempting to join the Mile High Club."
– _Sammy7_
Moon Lovin'
"A couple of NASA interns several years ago stole a huge number of moonrocks brought back during the Apollo missions, spread them out on a motel bed and had sex on them, just so they could say they’d had sex on the Moon"
– Melodic_692
"That seems like a spectacularly bad idea. Moon rocks (and even moon dust) are pretty sharp (no atmosphere = no erosion to smooth things out). Not something I'd want in contact with my naked skin."
– Freakears
Losing Control
"The Romans f'ked a natural birth control into extinction."
"I forget the details, but essentially there was an herb on some Greek island that acted as a natural birth control. The Romans proceeded to f'k so often that said plant no longer exists."
– geofflechef
See? And you thought history was so boring.
Whether you knew about these historical instances or not, one thing is for certain.
There may be many years between us and notable historical figures, but the truth is that we're all the same.
We're all driven by that impulse to act on our animalistic urges that are often stigmatized.
We may not all have certain kinks, but we, at our humanistic core, are not all that different from our ancestors who've been workin' it since history began.
And that, my friends, is a sexy fact. This is a shame-free zone, folks!
@kileywrestling/Bluesky
