Why can't we lead with love or, at the very least, a little humanity?
I've heard outrageously mean-spirited things said, not just to myself but to others.
The horrifying things I overheard when I was waiting tables would send a shiver down my spine.
I've heard lovers spew bile and revel in stories of infidelity.
I've heard parents call their children everything from worthless to ugly.
And vice-versa.
It's terrible.
You can't unhear such things, not as a witness and certainly not as a victim.
But talking about may help to get past it.
A Redditor wanted to discuss the nasty things people have spewed to ruin the happiness of others, so they asked:
"What’s the most hurtful thing anyone’s said to you?"
Poor Kid
"Not to me, but I was doing IT work on a board member's home network. His wife was pretty insane. She told her 17-year-old very nice son, 'You severely overestimate how much I care about you.' The kid turned out fine after escaping his crazy mom."
- myd**kinabox
Girl GIFGiphy
Drunk Lips
"'It was so cruel of your mother to have you. She should have aborted you. Now you have to live a life of misery and struggle. Maybe you'll die young though.'"
"A friend's mom drunkenly talking to me at a party."
"I was born with no legs. Really not a huge deal as I can get around easily off my chair and on it. Lived very independently on my own and never had any struggles with having no legs on my own."
"The only struggles I run into with no legs is other people's opinions."
- Wheels9690
Perfect-Looking
"That I was the failed attempt of my mother to have a perfect-looking daughter, that my sister is the perfect one, then she used to try put me and my sister against each other our whole childhood, but it fired back at her when my father divorced her and we both chosen to stay with our father."
- Violet_Bubaloo
"I would have divorced my wife over that."
- hlnklrczu
VILE
"'I am your mother. My job is to raise you, not to love you.'"
"My mother actually said this to my face when I was 12. I was sick, and she was upset that she had to grab me from school. She doesn't remember saying this, but the sad part is that it's because it was just a normal Thursday for her. She said s**t like this regularly."
- chilliflakeqqI
"I would have said to her that I never asked to be born so why do you put such a burden on me?"
- No-Concentrate9811
LIAR!!
"Literally three days ago. My girlfriend (I guess?) and I have been having issues. I went to her house to talk. I told her 'Remember when you came back crying on my doorstep and said that we would do whatever we need to do to work this out?' She looked at me with the coldest stare and said 'I lied.' Soul crushing."
- Alert-Brilliant-3084
"Be thankful that you didn’t marry her; could’ve been much worse."
- Delicious-Note-8027
Silver Linings
"After my girlfriend got pregnant I dropped out of college on my way to being a lawyer and became a civil servant to establish a stable household. 8 months in, she told me that she doesn’t know if I was the father."
"But on the bright side!!! I make more than my friends who became lawyers and work a fraction of the time. I’m also going to be able to retire at 49, which isn’t too far away."
- Effective-Tough5150
Awkward John Krasinski GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy
Weigh Watchers
"I've been overweight for almost twenty years until during the pandemic I decided to lose weight and get fit. During that summer I saved some money to buy new clothes (I lost 12 kg doing cardio every day) and when I let my mum see what I was going to buy she said 'Don't buy too many, you'll get fat again' I was too stunned to speak, I was really hurt, I thought someone believed in me beside myself. Even though now I hit the gym regularly and I have a muscular body I still remember those words, I thought she was more supportive and proud."
- warrior_of_light998
Doing Better
"My mom told me I had no personality. I do of course but due to me being more quiet or reserved that equals no personality to her. Unfortunately, it’s something that lingers in my mind when I’m interacting with people. Parents, please be mindful of how you speak with your children."
- MINXG
"My wife worked with my mom and some people mistakenly thought she was her daughter and not her daughter-in-law. We went out one night to one of our local bars and some of their coworkers were there. This drunk coworker guy kept trying to get me to do karaoke and I kept telling him no."
"I got up and went to the bathroom and while I was gone my mom said that he told her that he loves her daughter but she could have 'done better' than me, not realizing she was my mom and my wife was her daughter-in-law. He was embarrassed."
- highapplepie
In the End
"'You're just waiting for me to die so you can collect the life insurance.'"
"Said by my wife while nearing the end of her terminal fight with cancer."
"I don't hold any grudge about it, as I know she was going through a lot and was feeling really insecure about dying and thinking that I would be quick to move on. Losing her was still the worst day of my life, so I guess the joke's on her."
- ZiskaHills
A Peg or Two
"My sister used me as an example to her kids of why they should study harder at school. While we were all sitting around the same table."
"For clarity, it was 'Your uncle didn't study and look how he ended up.'"
"Up until then I'd thought while I wasn't setting the world on fire, I was doing okay, paying my bills... that certainly brought me down a peg or two lol."
"She's apologized and I told her not to worry about it, but she said what she said."
- DavidC_is_me
Slaughtered
"I was an overweight kid who generally wore sweatpants and hoodies to hide my body as much as possible. One year I made a dress in sewing class in middle school, it was long, flowing, and in no way form-fitting... I was SO proud of it, I took it home and tried it on for my mom... She looked me up and down, shrugged,d and said 'It's nice... But it shouldn't show all your rolls.'" Slaughtered me. Never put it on again."
- LivinTheWugLife
Lazy
"My annoyed youngest sister ranting at my mother saying about me: '...and that lazy b**tard...'"
"When it was me, some 30 years ago, who looked after my mother, an older sister, and her, when my parents got separated due to family issues, at my 20's and had to find a job I did not like, so they could have a roof on their heads and food on the table."
"The event I described is recent. A matter of days ago. My three sisters and mother (my dad died some years ago), always forget what I did or do for them. That's not all I did for them. As adults, I kept them several times when they faced troubles when I was doing great abroad (I paid for my own education when I could); I even paid for their air tickets to come to visit me in Dubai twice. Anyway. Now that I was left unemployed and could not find another job, they looked at me over the shoulder."
- A340_500
17
"During a pregnancy scare at 18, my mom asked why I didn’t have the decency to 'take care of it without her having to know' like she had done when she was 17."
"During our last conversation, told me everything that had gone wrong in her adult life was because she had me."
- upschittscrack
New Girl Facepalm GIF by HULUGiphy
STOP TRYING!!
"I was a dork in middle school and bullied and ostracized, and I remember trying to overcompensate on the school bus by being loud and trying to be funny. This kid, who had kept his mouth shut up til now, finally blurted out, 'OH MY GOD. YOU’RE NOT FUNNY OR COOL. STOP TRYING!!' I think stuff like that may have stuck with me more than I’d care to admit."
- potsandpole
Public Humiliation
"Every time I ate food, put food on my plate, got a snack, etc. my dad would make the most horrendous pig squeal that still haunts me to this day. This started around preteen years and ended when I cut him out in my 30s. He especially loved doing this at parties, restaurants, etc."
"It was one of many things I worked on in therapy for years. I still struggle to eat in front of people sometimes. One time I was so triggered by a pig toy someone got my kid that I got rid of it and had a meltdown. I still feel guilty about the toy, but my dad doesn’t feel guilty for the public humiliation or disordered eating. He’d say I can’t take a joke... lol."
- Thatlldoodoo
Shunned
"When I came out as a teenager, my mother told me 'You’re going to be very lonely when you grow up.' Then they asked me to move out a few months later at 17 years old. Then shunned me for years. 🎉"
- oval_euonymus
Gay Pride GIFGiphy
10 Years Later
"When I came out as trans. My brother told me not to ever talk to his kids (my niece and nephew.) or he would literally kill me. He said I am dead to them. He then told them I had passed away. He is military and genuinely would harm me. So I haven't talked to my niece or nephew or brother in over 10 years."
- West_coast_gal_
It is so sad to hear about people being shunned by their families.
Family is supposed to love you no matter what.
It's amazing that anyone here is brave enough to speak out about these issues.
I hope you all know you're worthy of love and peace.
And all of these cruel people are not worth your time or energy.
Sending hugs.
