The Most Creative Insults People Have Ever Heard

Baked

"An employee of mine told me that I was the raisin in his day's chocolate chip cookie."

- SellingMakesNoSense

Not so artistic

"Your face looks like something I’d draw with my left hand."

- weshric

Talking out your butt

"'They ruined a perfectly good bum when they put teeth in your mouth.' - Billy Connolly."

- That80sguyspimp

"Growing up, my best friends mother used to say 'it’s a shame God put so many teeth in your mouth…ruined a perfectly good a**hole'…"

" Same energy. Shout out Tia 🖤"

- ends_and_odds

We all deserve a break

"You have your entire life to be an idiot. Why not take today off?"

- rip1980

Green with envy

"I envy people who don’t know you."

- StalinsPerfectHair

Right in the childhood

"'You're not being the person Mr. Rogers knew you could be.' Emotional damage"

- couch_hammer

Slow down a bit

"Knowledge has been chasing you, but you have always been faster."

- Bright-Baker8267

Common loot energy

"You look like you drop common loot when defeated."

- GeorgeCauldron7

A bit bland

"I’ve always enjoyed 'If she were a spice, she’d be flour.'"

- Toren8002

No excuses

"I bumped into a homeless guy. I said excuse me."

"He said 'There is no excuse for you!!!'"

"With his leathered vigor, he's probably right."

- LOGOisEGO

Pain in the foot

"One time a third grader who was very annoyed with me told me 'you’re a rock in my shoe' and I’ve never forgotten that"

- madagascarprincess

Reap what you sow

"I hope your day is as lovely as your personality."

- montanagrizfan

"This works as both an insult and a compliment"

- Yezzzzzzzzzzzz

"'If my dog had a face like yours, I’d shave it’s @ss and teach it to walk backwards'"

- WteMxy

I would consult my own

"'If I wanted to hear an a**hole’s opinion, I would have just farted.' Learned this one a month ago and don’t know how I survived 40.5 years without it!!"

- ITSBRITNEYsBrITCHES

I'm not that flexible

"I'm trying to see things from your point of view but my head won't fit up my arse."

- Horrorbmoviepunk

It's generally better to try to play nice with others when you can but, if you're going to be mean, at least get creative.