Though we all have our own opinions about just how hard it is and how to go about doing it "right," we should all be able to agree that there are hard moments in parenting. Sometimes parents need a break, and it's easier to keep the peace among their kids, even if it means giving them a little extra screentime or another scoop of ice cream.
But while TikToker Kam (@kamlaurente) understands the need to keep the peace sometimes, she argued that keeping the peace should never, ever happen on someone's birthday.
This stance came up after watching a video by popular family vlogger, Cecily Bauchmann. She posted a video that has since been taken down after it was met with serious criticism on TikTok, highlighting a moment the morning of her oldest daughter, Capri's, birthday.
In the video, Bauchmann lit the candles on Capri's birthday cake, and while attempting to blow her candles out, Capri covered her youngest sister's mouth, as she was attempting to blow the candles out with her. This, naturally, caused an uproar among the four children, and to keep the peace, Bauchmann lit the candles three more times, so that each child had a turn to blow out the candles. With each blow of the candles, Capri visibly looked sadder and sadder.
Kam argued that this is an issue among parents who are not teaching their children proper birthday etiquette.
Birthdays only come once per year, and while it can be easy to get caught up in the excitement, decorations and treats of the day, it's important to remember what the day is for—to celebrate someone's birthday and life.
When a child has an issue with another child celebrating their birthday, they need to understand that they, too, will have a birthday celebration on their respective birthday.
But many parents have elected to "keep the peace" by relighting birthday candles for all the children to blow out, like in Bauchmann's video, or to provide a complimentary gift for the other children to open while the birthday child opens their gifts.
These actions, while they might seem small, teach children that they do not need to share or respect someone else's important events or achievements—and it can also teach children, like Capri Bauchmann, that their special moments will always have to be shared to keep other people happy.
You can watch the video here:
Fellow TikTokers resoundingly agreed with Kam's critique of the situation, and encouraged parents to have this conversation with their children.
@kamlaurente/TikTok
@kamlaurente/TikTok
@kamlaurente/TikTok
@kamlaurente/TikTok
@kamlaurente/TikTok
@kamlaurente/TikTok
@kamlaurente/TikTok
@kamlaurente/TikTok
@kamlaurente/TikTok
@kamlaurente/TikTok
@kamlaurente/TikTok
While it can be hard to do at first, and might even lead to a meltdown or two, it's a lesson that will set all of the children up for success long-term.
Though Bauchmann took the video down, hopefully she took some time to reflect over how she handled Capri's birthday.
And hopefully other parents who have done similarly will take a moment to think about the message they are sending to their children, both those who are demanding attention and those who are getting attention stolen away.
@jaketapoer/Bluesky
