It can be easy to tell if your partner or significant other might be going through a hard time.
Coming home to find them crying, or with their head in their hands is a pretty clear sign.
Unfortunately, some people are better at hiding or masking their feelings, leaving their loved ones completely unaware of the pain they might be going through.
Or, worse still, the help and support they might need.
Redditor beautyvivahealth was curious to learn of the more subtle and less obvious signs that people's partners might be struggling, leading them to ask:
"What's a sign that your partner is actually struggling, that many couple miss?"
When Common Comfort No Longer Brings Joy
"Something fairly common is if they stop doing things they used to enjoy or become very quiet."
"Many couples miss this, thinking it's just because they're busy or tired, not realizing it could mean something more serious."- OwnPea3066
It's The Little Things
"Hyper fixation on something rather small, like a small activity or small inconvenience, and then no interest or opinions on bigger, more significant things."
"Also generally not looking after themselves as well as they used - general hygiene and wearing the same clothes day after day."-Itsbudd
Cleanliness Is A Virtue
"When they stop their normal hygiene routine."
"Hair goes unwashed, no shaving, lack of deodorant, wearing the same unwashed clothes day after day."
"Not doing the hobbies they once enjoyed."- CasualRampagingBear
Say That Again?
"A shift in their usual communication style."- Suitable-Patience690
When Words Become Too Much
"When they talk in emojis."- OPTC-
Everyone Has Feelings
"I’ve been really sensitive lately, and as a man with a strong-willed, sometimes feisty woman, that can lead to a lot of fighting."
"I’ve been struggling with mental health for years and it got a lot better as soon as me and her got together."
"But recently I’ve been in a bad way again, and the mental stress caused me to lose my patience."
"After a really bad fight she could tell I was being different and overly sensitive."
"It’s a big tell."
"I broke down in the car next to her last night, and it opened both of our eyes a lot."
"We’re good now."- HighlandHero74
When Everything Is Just Too Much
"Constant irritability and lack of energy."- BabyK_128
Slow And Steady Change, And Not For The Better
"Weight gain, especially big weight gain, bad diet of junk food (easy dopamine), no motivation to do much of anything, more addicted to their phones (easy dopamine), apathetic about almost everything, but also heightened anxiety, bad hygiene practices - for example your girlfriend who has long hair she wears out straight or curled or styled nicely up is suddenly barely brushing her hair and is wearing it in a thrown up bun every day."
"It sounds small, but someone who takes care of themselves suddenly not taking care of themselves in that way is something to watch out for."- MaleficentAd8942
Broken Connections
"Emotionally detached."- Emotional_Fondant_55
Not Even A Simple Yes Or No
"When they can't make any decisions, it can be as small as figuring out what they want for dinner."
"They look lost and dazed."
"Also forgetfulness, these can point to dissociation."- hollsq
Mood Swings
"If they can go from happy to irritate, lashing out to crying and from independent to needy quickly, there's something wrong in term of their moods."
"Yes, it easy to just passed it off as a 'moody', but there usually other factors that cause it."
"Another is refusing to speak their minds but post passive-aggressive messages/posts on their social medias."
"This is usually the first step into the 'Cold War phrase of the relationship- usually lead to it demise too'."- throwsomwthingaway
Before You Rush To Pass Judgement...
"Frequently I see people on here describing their significant other as no longer holding up their end of household chores, sleeping all the time, not taking care of themselves, and being called 'lazy'.”
"Oftentimes the poster is overwhelmed by all the things they need to take care of now and completely miss that it appears that their significant other is really struggling with mental health and depression."
"Sitting down and saying 'I notice you haven’t been yourself lately, do you want to talk, can I help?' from a caring place is so much more productive than freaking out and yelling at someone about how you now have to pick up all the pieces."
"I wish more people understood this and made their spouse’s health a priority instead of judging, blaming and name calling."-lokeilou
Overcompensating
"They start doing things to make you happy out of nowhere."
"They go out of their way to bring you a gift, do your chores, snuggle and touch, make you your favorite meal."
"And this becomes consistent behavior over a very short period of time."
"When that type of affection comes on strong and seemingly out of nowhere, it can be cause for concern."
"Especially if it stops suddenly."
"That person is turning their unhappiness into your happiness."
"Maybe if you're happy enough, they'll be happy again."
"The constant touch is reassuring and calming."
"If it stops suddenly, it's very likely that some kind of decision has been made - and it's rarely a good one."- IllustriousPickle657
When They Need A Little Too Much "Self-Time".
"I tend to push everything away from me."
"My husband, friends, family, hobbies, and career."
"It’s like trying to find total isolation without raising an alarm."- aippom
Distance Doesn't Always Make The Heart Grow Fonder
"They don't communicate to you like they usually do or they tend to be emotionally distant."- Entire_Sympathy_1701
It's never a good or helpful idea to assume the worst.
But next time you have an inclination that your loved one might need help, probably best to give it to them, and not waste time by asking.
