In my last job in retail, I was working in a mom and pop neighborhood convenience store. Almost everyone who came in was a regular customer.
One regular would always joke around with me and I looked forward to his visits.
A few months of this and one day he asked me, "You know I'm flirting with you, right?"
I laughed in response, but in reality, no, I did not know.
Not a single clue.
In my defense, I'm autistic. We don’t usually do well with hints and social cues. I've never been able to figure out a man is flirting until he tells me he is.
Reddit user Gullible_Ebb_597 asked:
"What's the biggest hint you received but was totally clueless about?"
Couch Surfer
"Freshman year of college, I was talking to this girl who lived like an hour and a half drive away. One weekend I drove down by her to go to a concert and we met up."
"Afterwards, we hung out in her apartment until like 2:30 in the morning when she tells me her roommate is out of town so I can spend the night.
"My response was 'I’m good to drive' and then I drove home."
"At the time I was used to crashing on people's couches after a night out and I would have rather slept in my own bed than another couch."
"It wasn't until I was too far away to turn around that it hit me that I probably wouldn't have had to sleep on the couch."
~ profJesusfish
Captain Oblivious
"One time I invited a guy over, lit candles, put on romantic music, and wore the cutest lingerie I owned."
"He sat down, looked around, and asked if I was having trouble with my electricity since I had so many candles lit."
"Truly, Sherlock Holmes in the making."
~ No_Decision_2098
"This would be my husband, too."
"I tell him he has the density of a collapsed star."
~ Nactmutter
Not Joking
"I had the cute shy girl tell me, 'wouldn't it be the craziest thing if we both just randomly went upstairs [at this party] and lost our virginity‽‽'."
"'Yeah! No one would believe it!' followed by my nervous laugh because I really liked her and her joke was uncomfortably close to my teenage fantasies."
"And I just let it sit there, thinking it was just a joke she made."
"Sorry, Erin."
~ professor_doom
Missed Call
"Way back around 1991, long before cell phones were common (an important fact), I was in a toy store looking for a particular action figure. I asked a hot goth girl that worked there if they had it."
"She told me they typically get one per shipment and to call the store on the day of their shipment to see if they got one. We then spent the next 15 or so minutes chatting about comics and anime."
"As we were finally about to part ways she says, 'if you call the store you might not get me, so call me directly' and gave me her home phone number."
"I found the action figure in a different store later that day, so I never called her."
"It was years later when it dawned on me she can’t check stock from her house. She didn’t give me her number to check on the shipment—she gave me her number because she wanted me to call her."
~ DeaddyRuxpin
Hands On
"Eating lunch with my friends. The girl I was sitting next to would have made a great 'enemies to lovers' story."
"We hated each other the first two years of high school, but bonded over musical theatre."
"As we ate she held my hand. Like every time she wasn’t eating, her hand went right back into mine. The whole meal."
"Someone had to see it happening! I never acted on it because she was super pretty and out of my league."
"A few years later, my grandmother ended up doing at-home nurse care for this girl's mom with MS. Turns out she talked about me all the time in high school."
"I am not very smart."
"She has two (or three I can’t recall) kids and she seems super happy with her husband. She is still gorgeous. I am happy for her!"
~ Karsa69420
Second Chance
"Back in high school I wasn’t popular by any measurable means, so I was gladly surprised when a girl I knew invited me to a party."
"When I arrived, there party was this girl and two other friends with their respective boyfriends. I thought that maybe the party wasn’t a hit, because there wasn’t that many people during the 2.5 hours we were there.
"They put on a movie, made popcorn and some drinks. The details are kind of foggy now, but at some point she sat on my lap because the other chairs were 'too hard'."
"After that her friends said they had to go, leaving the girl and myself behind, alone in her apartment—her parents were away. So I asked her if she needed help cleaning up."
"She told me she was getting a bit tired and she could do with a massage. I said, 'Oh, OK, I’ll let you rest. Talk to you tomorrow.' And I left."
"The following week, she was kind of upset with me. It took me 7 years to understand what it all meant. Some time later, 3 years later we met up again (school reunion), talked to her and confirmed what had happened."
"But wait, it gets worse."
"At the end of our reunion she told me, 'you know, it is never too late to fix mistakes'."
"I smiled, said 'yeah, if I had a time machine, right?' before getting in my car, driving off home, parking the car, opening the door and f*cking getting the fact that I blew up another chance."
~ rodrigoelp
Who, Me?
"Was walking with my dad in Walmart when I was about 17 and a group of girls walked by and one said 'hey' rather flirtatiously and kinda looked me up and down but I never went and talked to her or anything."
"A year later, I just finished up a basketball tournament and saw the SAME girl at this table in the lobby. She waved and smiled and when I didn’t wave, she waved again."
"I slowly looked behind me and turned back to her while she busted out laughing. I didn’t talk to her that time either because I was embarrassed."
"The last one truly haunts me."
~ No-Owl697
Polite
"A girl and I had fooled around in my dorm room. She decided to spend the night."
"So, naturally, I got up to sleep in my chair because I was unsure if I should stay in my bed with her. She yelled at me for being an idiot and I got back in bed."
"19 years and two kids later, I think she likes me. But...she IS Canadian. She might just be being polite."
~ wdh662
House Party
"Spent all night chatting with a girl at a house party in my teens. We ended up crashing in the same room."
"She asked me 'do you want to share the bed?'."
"It was a single bed, I said 'nah, I'll take the floor'."
"I still facepalm every time I think of this... I was such an oblivious idiot."
~ Loki_lulamen
Maybe She Was Cold
"Many moons ago, when I (15, male) was watching TV with a friend (16, female), she got up to go to the restroom."
"When she came back, instead of sitting next to me (we were sitting on the floor, our backs against the couch), she sits in between my legs (facing the TV), grabs my hands and places them on her now bra-less boobs."
"We had never kissed or talked about anything beyond friendship. I just sat there and held them like an idiot."
"After she left, it hit me what she was intending, and I felt like a dumb@ss. Called her later in the day, admitting my idiocy."
"Remedied the situation the next day."
~ CRO553R
Zzzzzzzzz... 😴
"Walking her home after a party, we were talking and laughing and I made a joke about snoring and she got serious and said, 'you want to come find out if I snore'."
"I made another dumb dismissive joke like, You, snore? No way!' Somehow ended up alone in my room that night kicking myself."
"I really liked her too. Never got a second chance. I think my response probably embarrassed her, too."
~ DaBigadeeBoola
Kiss, Kiss
"In high school, a girl greeted me with a kiss on the lips every morning, several days in a row."
"The idea that she could be interested was so unimaginable to me that it only clicked like 10 years later."
"Yeah, building my self-confidence has required civil engineering-level work."
~ hoaxymore
Friends Without Benefits
"Not a hint I received but one I gave."
"Some friends and I were wrestling around on the floor one day and I was laying on one of their arms crushing it. He said if I didn’t get off he’d squeeze my boob and I said 'go ahead, do it'. After hesitating for a moment he did it, and I said 'now you have to do the other one to balance it out'."
"He laughed it off but I kept bringing it up over the next few weeks. Like a month later we were watching a movie by ourselves, I kept saying I was cold and he kept getting up to bring me blankets."
"Eventually he ran out of blankets and said 'I guess… I could warm you up?'. So we effectively were cuddling under four blankets while watching the movie. When I brought the joke up again, he finally committed to it."
"I think I joked something like 'that felt nice, you should do it again' and he did, but we still didn’t date until about 7 months later."
~ Dense-Eagle-1238
Crushing It
"My friend who I had a huge crush on and had been 'jokingly' flirting with for a couple of weeks was hanging out one evening, and started talking about how the walk back to her building was just so long and cold... so I offered her to stay in my dorm with me."
"There were two beds in my single room, but she wanted to sleep in mine. I offered her pajama pants, and she said 'I usually just sleep in my underwear', but I said 'no, I insist! I don't want you to be uncomfortable!'."
"The next morning, she told me that she had a sex dream about me. I said that was funny and thought nothing of it. She proceeded to spend several more nights in my bed that week, platonically snuggling, each morning telling me about a new sex dream she had about me."
"It wasn't until after we made out—completely to my surprise—that I connected the dots."
~ veggieplant
Bed Test
"Helped a girl move into her new place and assemble the bed."
"She says, 'We should test it out'."
"Me, bouncing up and down on it: 'seems fine'."
"Sorry, Caroline."
~ Underwritingking
What hints did you miss until later when you reflected on them?
@kileywrestling/Bluesky
