Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

Men Speculate Where They Absolutely Would NOT Take Their Penis If It Were Detachable

A penis is a very sensitive organ, okay? Men hold them dear for a reason. (See what I did there?)

Now imagine if men could remove a penis whenever they needed to. It'd be so convenient. No more random erections in uncomfortable places. No need to be concerned the next time you're playing with knives in the kitchen. You'd just go through life serving Ken Doll realness, and it'd be so practical and useful.


Men shared their thoughts with us after Redditor simbabeat asked the online community:

"Men, if your penis was easily detachable, what is a place or an event where you would definitely not take it with you?"

"Honestly I'd probably just leave it in my nightstand like all the time, as long as I could still pee without it."

Persies

Okay, fair. A practical man. Just make sure it stays in the nightstand!

"No need..."

"Work, honestly. No need for it there."

Damn_Wright

Judging by the stories I've heard about some workplaces... not so sure about "no need."

"Is it hard..."

"Is it erect when detached? Can I sing into it like a hair brush?"

TheMOESIAH

Ummm... perhaps?

What would you be singing?

Do we really want to know?

"Martial arts..."

"Martial arts for sure."

[deleted]

Now this is definitely an environment I wouldn't want my own penis in. Good call.

"I'd be..."

"I'd be open-carrying everywhere."

balticromancemyass

That's a lot of confidence you have, sir.

"No chance..."

"Any business meeting. No chance of an unexpected boner."

[deleted]

This works out quite well, especially if you have to stand and give presentations.

"As a grower..."

"The gym. As a grower, that is really embarrassing during certain exercises."

mostlyBADchoices

It would be much better to leave it in the locker before you go and work out, I think.

A sleepover..."

"A sleepover with friends. We'd probably just end up swapping them around or playing "hot potato" with them."

thatrockguy7

What a day to be able to read.

"I lose anything..."

"It would never leave my bedroom. I lose anything that's not attached."

Aran909

Ah, a man who knows themselves well.

"I'd treat it..."

"I’d treat it like my car when going out for drinks and just leave it at home. Don’t have to worry about losing it, or wrecking it. Or using it while intoxicated."

[deleted]

So responsible! Good for you!

Turns out men are a lot more practical with their penises off than on. Who knew?

Have some suggestions of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!

Want to "know" more?

Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.

Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.

More from Trending/best-of-reddit

Jenny Mollen and Jason Biggs
Stefano Guidi/Getty Images

Actor Jenny Mollen Is Weirding People All The Way Out With Her Viral Essay On Being A 'Boy Mom' To Her And Jason Biggs' Sons

If you've been on social media in recent years you've surely heard discourse about so-called "boy moms," the weird, obsessive, boundary-challenged moms whose entire existences center around their sons.

You know, they're the young mom version of the meddling mother-in-law who ruins her sons' wives' lives.

Keep ReadingShow less
Andy Ogles
Brett Carlsen/Getty Images

MAGA Rep. Ripped After Claiming That 'Homosexuality Has No Place In America' In Vile Tweet

On Tuesday morning, Tennessee MAGA Republican Representative Andy Ogles decided to proudly proclaim his bigotry on X by posting a homophobic attack on the second day of LGBTQ+ Pride Month.

But by Tuesday afternoon, Ogles had lost his nerve and deleted the deliberately inflammatory post.

Keep ReadingShow less
Donald Trump
Kent Nishimura/AFP via Getty Images

The White House Just Shared A Trump Quote Claiming Things Will 'All Work Out' In The End—And It's Not Sitting Well With People

The White House was called out after sharing a pair of tweets quoting President Donald Trump's recent claim on Truth Social that "it will all work out well in the end" as he attacked critics.

As his highly unpopular war with Iran continues, Trump said he believes Iran is eager to reach an agreement that would benefit the United States and its allies. He complained that criticism from Democrats—whom he referred to as "Dumocrats"—and some Republicans makes negotiations more difficult.

Keep ReadingShow less
Screenshot of Ivanka Trump
David Senra/YouTube

Ivanka Trump Under Fire Over Tone-Deaf Plan To Develop Massive $1.5 Billion Resort On Private Island In Mediterranean

Ivanka Trump was criticized over her tone-deaf plans to develop Sazan Island, an off-grid island off the coast of Albania, into a private resort with her husband, Jared Kushner.

The development will reportedly include 10,000 hotel rooms and villas along a stretch of ecologically sensitive coastline encompassing the Vjosa-Narta lagoon and the nearby island of Sazan. According to Newsweek, the resort "spans wetlands and coastal habitats known for supporting bird migration routes and marine wildlife, which environmental groups say could be at risk."

Keep ReadingShow less
Elmo, Grover, and Abby Cadabby of Sesame Street visit SiriusXM Studios.
Rommel Demano/Getty Images

MAGA Is Throwing A Bigoted Tantrum After 'Sesame Street' Celebrated The Start Of Pride Month—And Here We Go Again

June has arrived, which means two things are now inevitable: brands rolling out Pride Month messaging and MAGA supporters reacting to it like civilization is collapsing in real time.

This year’s completely predictable outrage target is Sesame Street, which kicked off Pride Month with its annual message celebrating inclusion, acceptance, and the LGBTQ+ community.

Keep ReadingShow less