Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

Men Speculate Where They Absolutely Would NOT Take Their Penis If It Were Detachable

A penis is a very sensitive organ, okay? Men hold them dear for a reason. (See what I did there?)

Now imagine if men could remove a penis whenever they needed to. It'd be so convenient. No more random erections in uncomfortable places. No need to be concerned the next time you're playing with knives in the kitchen. You'd just go through life serving Ken Doll realness, and it'd be so practical and useful.


Men shared their thoughts with us after Redditor simbabeat asked the online community:

"Men, if your penis was easily detachable, what is a place or an event where you would definitely not take it with you?"

"Honestly I'd probably just leave it in my nightstand like all the time, as long as I could still pee without it."

Persies

Okay, fair. A practical man. Just make sure it stays in the nightstand!

"No need..."

"Work, honestly. No need for it there."

Damn_Wright

Judging by the stories I've heard about some workplaces... not so sure about "no need."

"Is it hard..."

"Is it erect when detached? Can I sing into it like a hair brush?"

TheMOESIAH

Ummm... perhaps?

What would you be singing?

Do we really want to know?

"Martial arts..."

"Martial arts for sure."

[deleted]

Now this is definitely an environment I wouldn't want my own penis in. Good call.

"I'd be..."

"I'd be open-carrying everywhere."

balticromancemyass

That's a lot of confidence you have, sir.

"No chance..."

"Any business meeting. No chance of an unexpected boner."

[deleted]

This works out quite well, especially if you have to stand and give presentations.

"As a grower..."

"The gym. As a grower, that is really embarrassing during certain exercises."

mostlyBADchoices

It would be much better to leave it in the locker before you go and work out, I think.

A sleepover..."

"A sleepover with friends. We'd probably just end up swapping them around or playing "hot potato" with them."

thatrockguy7

What a day to be able to read.

"I lose anything..."

"It would never leave my bedroom. I lose anything that's not attached."

Aran909

Ah, a man who knows themselves well.

"I'd treat it..."

"I’d treat it like my car when going out for drinks and just leave it at home. Don’t have to worry about losing it, or wrecking it. Or using it while intoxicated."

[deleted]

So responsible! Good for you!

Turns out men are a lot more practical with their penises off than on. Who knew?

Have some suggestions of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!

Want to "know" more?

Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.

Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.

More from Trending/best-of-reddit

Walmart store with tweet overlay
Scott Olson/Getty Images; @ruledbymercuryy/X

A Woman Just Found Her Mom's Cheap Walmart Grocery Receipt From 2006—And We're Furiously Sobbing

Feel like bursting into tears and then hurling your phone at the wall? Well then you've clicked on the right story!

A woman on X (formerly Twitter) has the entire internet sobbing after sharing an old Walmart receipt of her mom's grocery run from 2006.

Keep ReadingShow less
Donald Trump; gaz pump in Albany, New York
Aaron Schwartz/AFP via Getty Images; Jim Franco/Albany Times Union via Getty Images

Anti-Trump Stickers Keep Getting Spotted On Gas Pumps—And They're Absolutely Brutal

MAGA Republican President Donald Trump's decision to join Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu in attacking the country of Iran directly caused gas prices in the United States to soar and even Trump's MAGA minions aren't happy about it.

Many who are turning their back on Trump have cited the POTUS's negative impact on their cost of living and the influence Netanyahu, himself under investigation by his own country for corruption, has over the Trump administration.

Keep ReadingShow less
Screenshots of Jude Cloud
@judercloud/Instagram

Former MAGA Fan Goes Viral With Video Explaining What Finally Made Him Dismantle His Conservative Beliefs

Influencer Jude Cloud revealed in a video message how he ended up discarding the MAGA conservative beliefs he grew up around, describing his evolution from holding “fiscally conservative, socially liberal” ideals to being a "terribly woke" queer leftist.

Cloud, who boasts nearly 58,000 followers on Instagram, said he actually used to go "door-to-door" stumping for "one of [President Donald] Trump's closest friends in Congress, adding that he "used to say, 'I think, therefore I am conservative.'"

Keep ReadingShow less
Screenshot of Todd Blanche
CNN

Trump's AG Sets Off A Firestorm With Claim That Americans 'Want Their Tax Dollars Spent On' Trump's $1.8 Billion Slush Fund

Acting Attorney General Todd Blanche is facing heavy criticism after claiming that Americans "want their tax dollars spent on things like" President Trump's $1.8 billion slush fund that may go to his allies and those who participated in the January 6 insurrection.

The Justice Department said last week it was creating the fund as part of a deal in which Trump agreed to drop his $10 billion lawsuit against the IRS. But despite a press release, memo, and a newly-released settlement agreement, many details about the program remain unclear.

Keep ReadingShow less
Khloé Kardashian
Khloe in Wonder Land/YouTube

Khloé Kardashian Under Fire After Admitting She Had Her Two Cats Declawed After Being 'Misadvised'

Getting a new pet is a big commitment, and when you decide to take the plunge, you should commit to keeping them for their full lifetime.

But if you're going to get an animal that you have no prior experience with, you also have to commit to doing your research so you can care for them properly. While getting advice from a fellow pet owner is helpful, it's always good to double-check their facts.

Keep ReadingShow less