Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

Men Speculate Where They Absolutely Would NOT Take Their Penis If It Were Detachable

A penis is a very sensitive organ, okay? Men hold them dear for a reason. (See what I did there?)

Now imagine if men could remove a penis whenever they needed to. It'd be so convenient. No more random erections in uncomfortable places. No need to be concerned the next time you're playing with knives in the kitchen. You'd just go through life serving Ken Doll realness, and it'd be so practical and useful.


Men shared their thoughts with us after Redditor simbabeat asked the online community:

"Men, if your penis was easily detachable, what is a place or an event where you would definitely not take it with you?"

"Honestly I'd probably just leave it in my nightstand like all the time, as long as I could still pee without it."

Persies

Okay, fair. A practical man. Just make sure it stays in the nightstand!

"No need..."

"Work, honestly. No need for it there."

Damn_Wright

Judging by the stories I've heard about some workplaces... not so sure about "no need."

"Is it hard..."

"Is it erect when detached? Can I sing into it like a hair brush?"

TheMOESIAH

Ummm... perhaps?

What would you be singing?

Do we really want to know?

"Martial arts..."

"Martial arts for sure."

[deleted]

Now this is definitely an environment I wouldn't want my own penis in. Good call.

"I'd be..."

"I'd be open-carrying everywhere."

balticromancemyass

That's a lot of confidence you have, sir.

"No chance..."

"Any business meeting. No chance of an unexpected boner."

[deleted]

This works out quite well, especially if you have to stand and give presentations.

"As a grower..."

"The gym. As a grower, that is really embarrassing during certain exercises."

mostlyBADchoices

It would be much better to leave it in the locker before you go and work out, I think.

A sleepover..."

"A sleepover with friends. We'd probably just end up swapping them around or playing "hot potato" with them."

thatrockguy7

What a day to be able to read.

"I lose anything..."

"It would never leave my bedroom. I lose anything that's not attached."

Aran909

Ah, a man who knows themselves well.

"I'd treat it..."

"I’d treat it like my car when going out for drinks and just leave it at home. Don’t have to worry about losing it, or wrecking it. Or using it while intoxicated."

[deleted]

So responsible! Good for you!

Turns out men are a lot more practical with their penises off than on. Who knew?

Have some suggestions of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!

Want to "know" more?

Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.

Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.

More from Trending/best-of-reddit

Doug Bergum; Jared Huffman
Jim Watson/AFP via Getty Images; Bill Clark/CQ-Roll Call, Inc via Getty Images

Dem Rep. Hilariously Trolls Trump Official For Having No Idea How Solar Power Works In Viral Clip

Interior Secretary Doug Burgum was trolled by California Democratic Representative Jared Huffman after he, testifying before the House Natural Resources Committee, seemed to think solar panels are unreliable because they don't work when the sun goes down.

The sun produces heat and light through solar, or electromagnetic, radiation. Solar energy technologies capture that radiation and convert it into usable power. The two primary forms of solar technology are photovoltaics (PV) and concentrating solar-thermal power (CSP).

Keep ReadingShow less
Catherine O'Hara and Macaulay Culkin at the star ceremony, where he is honored for the Hollywood Walk of Fame.
FREDERIC J. BROWN/AFP via Getty Images

Macaulay Culkin Just Opened Up About The 'Unfinished Business' He Felt He Had With Catherine O'Hara—And We're Sobbing

More than three decades after they first starred together in Home Alone, Macaulay Culkin is opening up about the emotional bond he shared with Catherine O’Hara, and why her passing left him feeling like he “owed” her something more.

The former child star, now 45, discussed O’Hara’s recent passing with Gentleman’s Journal. O’Hara died on January 30 at age 71 from a pulmonary embolism linked to an underlying illness.

Keep ReadingShow less
Jason Collins
Maya Dehlin Spach/Getty Images

Tributes Pour In For First Out Pro Basketball Player Jason Collins After His Tragic Death At 47

The sports world lost a legend this week. And not just any legend: one who made history.

Jason Collins was the first openly gay active NBA player and the first openly gay professional athlete in any of the four major American sports leagues when he publicly came out in April 2013.

Keep ReadingShow less
Julia Louis-Dreyfus; Stephen Colbert
CBS

Julia Louis-Dreyfus Channeled Her 'Veep' Character To Epically Roast Stephen Colbert In Send-Off For The Ages

The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is set to air its final episode next Thursday, May 21.

The controversial cancellation will end Colbert's 11-year tenure at the late night desk, and end the Late Show franchise on CBS, which hit the airwaves in 1993 with host David Letterman—who shared his own message for the network over the cancellation.

Keep ReadingShow less
Melania Trump
Mandel Ngan/AFP via Getty Images

Kevin Hart Roast Writer Reveals Melania Joke That Got Cut—And It's Absolutely Savage

In an interview with Variety, writer Madison Sinclair revealed some of the jokes that got cut from Netflix's The Roast of Kevin Hart—including a joke about First Lady Melania Trump and MAGA comedian Tony Hinchcliffe that is as savage as it is nasty.

Hinchcliffe is best known for having called Puerto Rico "a floating island of garbage" during a Trump rally at New York City's Madison Square Garden in October 2024, just weeks before the election.

Keep ReadingShow less