People Break Down Their Funniest 'I'm Married To An Idiot' Experiences

It's important when you're dating someone for a long time, or you're married to them, that you commit to always trying to learn more about them. Interests change, new experiences change us, and we're generally always growing as people, which gives our loved ones, something new to learn at all times.

That all being said, sometimes it takes a while to uncover something about our partner, whether it's a food they don't like or a book they loved or something more serious.

In some cases, it's more about realizing how smart they are, or are not, than anything else.

Ready for a laugh, Redditor Known-Pop-8355 asked:

"What was your 'I'm dating/married to a f**king idiot' moment?"

Glow-In-The-Dark Moon

"We served in the US Peace Corps together in Uganda. One day, it was really sunny out (like we lived within 50 miles of the equator sunny)."

"She said, 'The moon is going to be really bright tonight.'"

"I asked what she meant, and she said since it's so sunny, the moon is absorbing all the light and will illuminate brighter when it's dark..."

"We argued about this and ended up talking to her mother on the phone. She confirmed her daughter's hypothesis."

- Apuuli21

"I love the fact-checking with someone equally misinformed. I'm going to start doing that."

- bocadellama

"I love it. She thinks the moon is like a glow-in-the-dark sticker."

- wonderlust-vibes

Asking The Real Questions

"This one is a bit obscure but when you go to a hotel to check in, you tell them your full name or at least your last name so they can look you up."

"The guy I was dating at the time and I had booked a hotel somewhere and we got there, they asked his name he only gave them his first name which is generic."

"They asked, 'What’s your full name?'"

"He again gave them just his first name."

"They said, 'Sir, we need your full name to look you up.'"

"He said, 'Yeah, but the reservation is under my name (first name here).'"

"I had to intervene and tell him they needed his last name because there could be many guests by his first name. I was so shocked this was not common sense to him."

- ultravioletblueberry

What A Relief!

"The girl I was dating was making nachos and shredding cheese. She cuts herself and blood gets on the cheese and the shredder."

"As she got a band-aid, I picked up the cheese, and as I was throwing it away, she freaked out as now I may have AIDS. Like what? She is hard freaking out that I just got exposed to AIDS and I needed to get medical attention."

"After talking, it turns out she thought AIDS was everywhere. Like any blood outside the body could just magically get it. Her stupidity was a relief that night."

- EntertainmentOdd4935

Square Peg. Round Hole.

"My partner was grunting and groaning at the bin. He said, 'We need new bin bags, these ones you’ve bought don’t bloody fit.'"

"I went over to see what was going on, and he had a roll of small black dog poo bags in his hand with one unfurled, trying to work out why it wouldn’t fit in the bin."

"There were bin bags, he’d just picked up the wrong roll, and instead of realizing, tried to get a dog poo bag in a bin 50 times bigger."

- Pinapickle

"I am CRYING imagining a grown man trying to stretch a doggy bag."

- Manders37

Not Dating For The Cardinal Directions

"She thinks that north is always uphill, so she prefers to walk south."

- TwoBadRobots

"I can sort of relate to this. Where I grew up, the mountains were to the east. So I learned that the east was towards the mountains. Easy landmark."

"Now I live in a place where the mountains are to the north and it still messes with my sense of direction sometimes."

- TheBraveMagikarp

"I still remember the weird feeling after I moved places. Before, all the rivers went to the East, after the move all the rivers went to the West."

- snoopervisor

A Wreck You Just Can't Look Away From

"My now ex-husband legitimately thought that having a hysterectomy meant that your vagina was removed."

"I learned this when he asked me how women who had a hysterectomy were able to pee."

"Further discussion led to the realization that he thought that a hysterectomy resulted in a nice smooth Barbie-like bump down there."

- bestexeva

"It just keeps getting worse the longer you read it."

- IronSavior

Infinite Potatoes

"He thought potatoes never go bad because his mom always kept a bag in the pantry."

"I asked him if they ate a lot of potatoes and he said yes."

"They have a large family with six kids, and it still didn't click."

- glightlysay

"I’d like to buy an infinite potato bag, as well."

- nozelt

Confusion For The Heck Of It

"I love my wife, but South Dakota is, in fact, not north of North Dakota."

- Ttot1025

"It would be funny if it was, though."

- SquishSquish

"I feel like as a country, we have missed a great opportunity."

- KingPinfanatic

The Cows Chocolate Milk Comes From!

"I dated a guy in college who visited me in my rural hometown and asked what the animals in the neighbor's field were. I said, 'cows" in a you-must-be-s**tting-me level of disbelief."

"He proceeded to tell me they can't be cows, because cows are black and white, and these animals were all brown."

"I had to pull up Google to prove to him that brown cows existed."

"I could maybe understand if he'd been from a city, but he told me he was from a rural suburb, not a city, so I guess he was just an idiot."

- AnericanSteel412

"How long until he figured out that brown cows make chocolate milk? And questioned where the pink cows were hidden for making strawberry milk?"

- tossaway78701

The Perfect Garnish

"My wife went to the store to get cilantro for our tacos. She came home with parsley."

"Easy mistake, they look similar if you don't look closely enough. I told her she bought parsley."

"She was convinced it was cilantro. I had her taste it. I showed her the tag on the bundle that said parsley."

"She reluctantly went back to the store to get cilantro..."

"She came home with another bundle of parsley."

"I love this woman, but in this moment, I was questioning everything about her problem-solving skills. The good news is, she has never brought home parsley again."

- brodeo23

"One day I was making butter chicken curry (which my ex loved), and in the middle of cooking, I realized I was out of yogurt. I sent him to the store to get some."

"He came back with blueberry flavored..."

- FourCatsAndCounting

Put The Google DOWN

"My husband was feeling unwell and began googling his symptoms. After a while of silence, he suddenly turns to me in a panic and says, 'I think I have pre-eclampsia!'"

- snow-ninja

"Okay... I'll be honest, when Web MD first was a thing I (35 Female) immediately jumped on it and put in any and all my symptoms... well, as we all know, they always give you the worst-case scenario..."

"and it did..."

"It said I might have TESTICULAR cancer."

"I called my parents sobbing. They said I was a waste of private school education and hung up on me."

"Now look, in my ONLY defense, my older brother had gynecomastia, so in my head, I figured, if my brother was born with tits, then MAYBEEEEE it was possible I was born with balls stuck somewhere inside me."

"I don't know. It seemed logical to me at the time."

- Jane_ReMiFaSoLaTiDo

...Special Areas

"My boyfriend refused to eat basil I had bought from the grocery store because it was a full plant. I was keeping it outside and he insisted that he would not eat 'dirty' food."

"I asked where he thought farmers kept produce, and he said that they had 'special areas' for food to grow that was sterilized but my plant was not 'food grade.'"

"I just looked at him with a dumbfounded look. I didn't know how to respond."

- butteryvagina

Does Not Compute

"While we were moving, my ex-wife asked me who we needed to contact to change our email address…"

- smallboxofcrayons

"I have a family member who doesn't understand you don't need a new email address for every device! She has dozens of email addresses and Facebook accounts."

- SorcerorMerlin

"My little sister was the opposite. When she was 18, she complained to me about how the cutesy bunny-themed email I set up for her as a kid was embarrassing."

"Turns out she didn't know you could just make a new email address whenever you want."

- TheKnightsTippler

Hide Your Drivers; Hide Your Wheels

"On a camping trip, she was worried about parking the car on the grass, because she thought the grass was going to grow, puncturing and flattening the tires."

- Shawnaldo7575

"It's literally called BLADES of grass, people! Protect yo wheels."

- secondphase

In Ornaments And In Health

"I was having a discussion with my wife about not using certain Christmas tree decorations because they were glass and we had small kids."

"She said, 'They’re not glass.'"

"I said, 'They are, though.'"

"She said, 'No, they’re not! See?' And she proceeds to drop one straight onto the hardwood floor."

"SMASH!"

"Me: …"

"Her: …"

"I said (with the deadest straight face I have ever managed in my life), '…I’ll get the broom.'"

"And that is why we are still married."

- EastLeastCoast

It's clear how these moments were the deciding factors for these Redditors that they were, in fact, dating or married to an idiot.

But what's more telling is that most of them stayed with their partners! Wouldn't this make them... two idiots in love?