Marriage proposals are a turning point in a relationship.
A new era of life is about to begin.
Or... maybe not.
In all the excitement and build-up of the thought of marriage, some people dive in with false confidence.
Not everybody gets a "Yes" to a proposal.
How could a person say "No" to another person in one of their most vulnerable life moments?
It happens more than we realize.
Sometimes, it still works out.
Redditor ChemicalHonest6400 wanted to hear about "Will you Marry Mes" gone wrong, so they asked:
"For the guys who were told 'no' during a marriage proposal—what happened next?"
Messy
"She said no. Moved out two months later."
"Deep depression. It's been a month, and I'm starting to develop new routines and habits. I sure as f**k don't miss cleaning up after her though. My house is so much easier to keep clean."
- Achermondeus
surprise fainting GIFGiphy
38 Years
"Not myself, but my parents' story: My parents had been dating for about a year, and Dad took Mom out. He was a functional alcoholic then, and brought whiskey with him everywhere. When he proposed, she said, 'You're already married. To that bottle.' They continued to date casually while my dad got himself sober. Wouldn't even touch beer (and still doesn't drink to this day)!"
"On Valentine's Day, he arrived at my grandparent's, where she lived, with a large, heart-shaped box of chocolates, the center chocolate holding the ring. He wanted to speak with her parents alone, and my mom kept getting irritated about being shuffled out of the room by my grandma and grandpa."
"The last time, she angrily slammed their door, promptly slipped, fell down the stairs, and bonked her head. Once they got her settled with an ice pack, my dad opened the box and asked her again, to marry him. She said yes, and they've been together 38 years this past December. She'll occasionally joke that she only said yes because she had a concussion!"
- Philom3n3
FLINGS
"Not me, but our hot air balloon pilot told a great story about a guy who rented out the entire balloon for the proposal, even managing to bring along a photographer as his 'best friend from out of town.' Midflight, he gets down on one knee and proposes. She looks horrified and FLINGS the engagement ring over the side. All caught with photo proof. Very quiet return trip, and no tip, per the pilot."
- aloneintheupwoods
I'm Not Sure
"We had talked about marriage before. I told her I wasn’t ready just yet and that I thought we weren’t ready just yet and we should wait a bit. She said that if I didn’t want to marry her, there were plenty of guys she would be able to find who would and that her parents kept introducing her to these men (until then she hadn’t told her parents about me coz they were very conservative and old school)."
"Proposed on our next vacation a few weeks later. She said 'I’m not sure' at that exact moment when I got down on one knee and gave her the ring. Then she said yes. Then she said, 'I’m not sure' again a couple of hours later. Then we went to sleep, and the next morning, she said yes again."
"Cut to us calling off the wedding 3 months before the date. In hindsight, I probably should have called it off immediately at the time of the proposal."
- sinistadilly
Moving in Together
"My parents were only dating 6 months when they found out my older sibling was on the way. They agreed to keep the baby. Turns out, Mom had assumed that 'keeping the baby' meant 'moving in together,' whereas Dad was a traditionalist and assumed they should make things legal if they were starting a family. Dad, accordingly, got down on one knee and proposed marriage. Mom, surprised, said no. But after further discussion along the lines of 'yes, I'm serious,' he asked again and she said yes. They've been married 37 years now."
- thefuzzybunny1
Over and Over
"My mom said no to my dad many times. After 6 months of him asking repeatedly, she finally said yes because she was sick of him asking. They have been together now for 27 years and that’s 27 years too long. Absolutely hate each other but won’t do anything about it.
- Znyx_
The Princess Bride Marriage GIFGiphy
Not Now!
"We were in New Orleans. When I pulled the ring out of my pocket at the city park, she said 'Don’t you dare. The kids have been d**ks all day, I’m sweaty as hell, and there’s trash everywhere.'"
"The next day, we went out to dinner. Halfway through the dinner she got down on one knee and pulled out a ring of her own. She turned me down because SHE was planning to propose the next day."
"We’ve been married for a year and a half now."
- thndrchld
Distance
"My parents met when they both worked at the same Jersey shore hotel in college. They dated for four years and never once had a 'define the relationship' conversation. This was the 70s and they dated long distance during the school year and would work at the same hotel each summer. They’d write letters and such but literally never defined the relationship."
"My mom graduated first and moved to my dad’s college town and got a job at the mall. Still never defined the relationship. One day, shortly after my dad graduated, her friend got engaged, and she mentioned it to my dad. The next day, he proposed. Again, never talked about marriage, never defined the relationship. She tells him 'I’ll think about it.'”
"I guess bc she wanted some sense of autonomy? Later that day they went out for a date, and she said, 'don’t you have something to ask me?' And he asked her again and she said yes. They’ve been married, I think 49 years now lol. My dad says he was always waiting to be done with college to propose!"
- merelala
A Quickie
"We were on a cross-country trip - moving back to the west coast. Our last stop of the trip was in Las Vegas. From our hotel window we could see one of those little chapel places. I asked her (half kidding) if she wanted to go get a 'quickie marriage' before the trip was over. She refused with a fair amount of snark."
"An hour later I took the ring out of my suitcase and asked for real. So technically - she said no before she said yes."
- petchiefa
For the Ring
"For anyone who might have never gotten to this point or are fairly young — when in a relationship, you naturally talk to each other. Over time, whatever amount that is, both parties get to a point where it is often a WTF are we doing? Or sometimes an event will push the conversation."
"At that time, both parties should have a conversation about where they are and what their outlook is. If nobody brings it up, then no one cares about it. If someone speaks up, then it's time to put your cards on the table about the future. Eventually, an official proposal can be made if both sides agree it is a good idea."
"This is how it is done. I do not think movie-style marriage proposals that shock one party out of the blue where the answer may be NO is a practical thing. (For the ring)."
- typesett
I Get So Emotional...
"She spent the next few weeks trying to find every reason to get out of the relationship, we tried 1 therapy session, and I found out shortly after she was having an 'emotional affair' (her words)."
"She dumped me, I asked her to leave. She left two dogs, one with special needs and the other 12 and incontinent. Never heard from her again unless it was to get her money out of the mortgage."
- leprosy4444
sad britney spears GIFGiphy
Off to Europe
"My friend proposed to his long-time GF. She said no because she didn't believe in marriage, but she still wanted to be with him. Cut to 3 years later and she's run away to Europe. They're technically still together and keep promising to have kids with him, but she refuses to come home."
- din0sneeze
For Love
"Not me but my parents - my mom got pregnant unexpectedly. My dad wasn’t supposed to be able to have children (and had a previously failed marriage because of it) so it was a huge shock. He proposed and my mom said no, that she didn’t want to get married just because she was pregnant, she wanted to get married for love. Well, my dad loves her and proved it and now they’ve been married for 29 years!!"
- Mariellemarie
Unresolved Trauma
"We always said we were gonna get married and she wanted to very much. After 7y her commitment phobia kicked in because of unresolved trauma and she’s been wholly unwilling to give therapy a chance to resolve it. Won’t ever broach the topic herself either, if I don’t it would never get brought up. Real f**king demoralized at this point."
- Brojangles1234
50!!!
"Not me, but my parents. They met for the first time at a mutual friend's party, and he proposed to her that very night. My mom told him to chill out until they'd at least gone on a few dates. He asked again after the 3rd date. This year will be their 50th anniversary. I guess when you know, you know."
- CapnHuff
old couple GIFGiphy
So I guess we all win some and lose some.
Life has to go on no matter what.
Some of these are just brutal.
Have any of you witnessed or been a part of proposals gone wrong?
