Romance novels, romantic films and TV shows, advertisements, and society at large has made the gift of flowers a symbol of love, condolences, well wishes, or congratulations.
The actual act of giving flowers goes back centuries to ancient Greece, China, Egypt, the Victorian Era, and has evolved even in the last 100 years. In 1917, advertisers made giving flowers to mothers and grandmothers on Mother's Day a staple of the holiday.
Different eras and cultures have changed the way we view the importance of flowers or even the meaning behind the type of flower we are gifting. It shifted to become a gendered gesture most prodominantly in the Victorian Era as a way to express specific feelings for a romantic partner because it wasn't acceptable to share emotions outwardly.
For some reason, we still emphasize that gendered nature and restrict flower-giving to men and flower receiving to women. But what's wrong with a man getting flowers from a woman?
For some reason, we need to come up with an alternative gift for men so they don't feel emasculated (and that's on toxic masculinity). We wanted to find out what those gifts are.
So Redditor Charn22 asked:
"What is the male equivalent of buying a women flowers?"
Let's see what the men have to say.
Different kind of flower.
"I also enjoy flowers. My wife gets me the best Indica."
"Last Friday after a long day of work my girlfriend, who doesn't like weed, surprised me with a nice bag of Indica and told me to smoke for the weekend."
"I've been internally thinking about marriage a lot more this last week…"
"That's is what sealed the deal for our marriage!! She hunted down my favorite strain 100% pure DJ Short Blueberry…I looked for months found variations but never the original…made my year and was just a 'I love you gift,' no occasion; a keeper! 10 years and two kids later still in love!"
"That's love there."
- hassh
Don't buy anything at all.
"Thoughtful, romantic materialistic items are great, however I'd be more than satisfied with a hug and a kiss."
"Back rub. My wife actually enjoys rubbing my back. It's good to be me."
"I was gonna say buy me a gun, but back ribs are nice too."
"I'm not sure if this is a typo or not but I think we're kindred spirits..."
"Baby back ribs."
It's the little things.
"Some guys like gifts, some guys don't. I don't like gifts, but that's also because I've dated spoiled rich girls who expected them and that experience sort of ruined it for me. But there are other ways to show appreciation."
"My current girlfriend does this one thing that always makes me smile. I am a heavy sleeper and I have a hard time getting up early in the morning. She's a morning person so she's always up ahead of me so now she likes to get up while I'm still sleeping and makes coffee for me. She doesn't even drink coffee and at first didn't even know what proportions to use."
"It makes me smile every time because getting my morning coffee is the first thing I do every day. It's a small gesture but it's one I really appreciate because I always wake up very sleepy. She usually wakes me up getting back in bed and now that I know what she's doing, it gives me a great opportunity to show my appreciation in another way."
- vatoho
"You should, like, marry her and stuff."
- Xirokami
"I just about cried when my last GF first made me coffee in the morning... when no one's ever done that for you before it's a seriously big deal!"
- YouAreMT
"Nice to know some men appreciate it. My ex always took me doing stuff like that for granted. I even got up and did it DESPITE not being a morning person at all, but I was always a lighter sleeper so I was usually up first anyway."
"My wife makes me tea in the mornings when I'm a useless pile, and I tuck her into bed at night and make sure she's got everything when she's sleepy. The system works."
"If you're not aware already you should look into 'love languages.'"
"I also never liked receiving gifts but it turns out that gift-giving is just one, and what I do actually subscribe to a lot is 'acts of service.'"
"Getting me chocolate is w/e compared to 'I setup the coffee for you in the morning.' To me, personally."
Who doesn't love snacks?
"My late husband disliked going into stores, so I would often buy his favourite treats for him while shopping."
"Love me some snacks. Ice cream too. My son usually gets 'em all but sometimes the wife remembers mine and I'm stoked when she does."
"My ex loved 6 packs of beer and a foot long Bellacino's chicken grinder. I gave him that one year for Valentine's Day along with a VHS tape full of MMA fight matches to watch instead of going out to dinner. He almost cried. That was a good day."
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Food is the way to a mans heart.
"'Honey, I was passing your favorite restaurant and I picked you up a cheeseburger and onion rings. I hope that's ok.' Yes, it's ok."
- mrmitchs
"My wife would have to call me to let me know she ran out of gas driving around trying to decide which place to stop at."
"I'd marry a woman who does that twice. hot diggity!"
Actually, maybe flowers aren't that bad of an idea.
"Buying a guy flowers."
"I would be very touched if a girl gave me flowers. I would never forget that."
"I love it when my fiancé buys me flowers. They look nice in the house, they smell nice, and it's a gift showing they care about me! There is literally no down side… unless it would completely shatter someone's fragile masculinity."
"My wife doesn't like getting cut flowers because she would prefer they didn't die for her "enjoyment." Potted flowers are okay."
"I don't dislike flowers, they are just invisible to me. If my wife puts a vase of flowers somewhere, I won't even notice until she points them out. Several times in the past, she has gone away for a week and come back and asked why I haven't thrown away the dead flowers. I never even noticed there were flowers there, let alone that they died, lol."
But it's not for everyone, just as not all women like flowers either.
"So I've seen men mention this a number of times on reddit. I therefore decided to get my partner some for his birthday (in addition to other things), and he was NOT impressed. It sucked."
- trilby2
"First time I ever bought flowers for a boyfriend he made it very awkward. 'Um, thanks? You don't buy men flowers.' Strict gender role adherence can really make a person miss out on small joys!"
- becklrn
"A direct equivalent would just be a nice plant. Personally I'm not very into flowers, they seem impractical because they wilt away after a few days. But a nice plant that can stick around for a while would be cool."
- collin-h
Maybe something potted.
"A direct equivalent would just be a nice plant. Personally I'm not very into flowers, they seem impractical because they wilt away after a few days. But a nice plant that can stick around for a while would be cool."
- collin-h
"I like pepper plants. They look good, last all summer and I can regularly go outside and eat them."
"I love a good cherry tomato plant. Excellent drive by snack while mowing."
"Mint is also a good one to just grab on the go, but that stuff is practically a weed, if you don't plan on maintaining it it'll take over the whole neighborhood."
- collin-h
Get to know their hobbies.
"Anything that involves their hobby."
- Orvos101
"My GF will play magic the gathering with me occasionally even though she knows that I know she doesn't really like it. Even her just spending several years learning to play it has meant a great deal to me."
"100% this."
"Had a bad week at work a while ago, wife came home with a lego set for me (one I already had, so this could be modified without messing up the other one)."
"Meant so much to me that I could sit at the table and build while ignoring everything around me."
- Bulliwyf
But only do it if you really know a lot about the hobby, otherwise it could be a waste of money and time.
"Yeah, it's really hobby-dependent. Often the solution in a case like that is stuff that's adjacent to the hobby instead of trying to get them something specific to it. Like buying a professional artist painting supplies is never gonna go over well, but maybe if you know one of their big inspirations released a biography, grabbing that (assuming they didn't get it for themselves already) could be perfect."
"Guy up above talking about Warhammer stuff. Getting models without knowing exactly what someone needs for their army is a terrible idea, but getting them a copy of the newest White Dwarf or something could be good, and getting them more shelf space for all their unpainted models is perfect!"
- Srakin
For the men that are handy.
"Clamps. We can never have enough clamps."
- whidzee
"Found the wood worker."
- greem
Appreciation is the key.
"Guys like gifts just as much as girls. But we like things we can use. All from a shampoo bottle to a new console game. You can give us a new screwdriver even though we have no use for it. We want to feel appreciated just as much as you do."
"Um, I think most women would like something useful and meaningful instead of a bunch of flowers, too. Flowers are what dudes buy when they can't think of anything else, even assuming they don't just cop out by showing up with NOTHING and saying something like, 'I almost stopped and got you some flowers, but then I didn't.'"
"The equivalent to a dude buying flowers would be a woman showing up with something equally useless and generic. Like, if they sold ties at the gas station, and you never actually wear ties."
"All these dudes who are like, "I'd like a BJ, I want a sandwich, no, a nice set of tools, no, beer!" You don't get what you LIKE. You get the equivalent of FLOWERS. There is no consideration whatsoever to what you'd actually prefer. This is something that I can buy that costs me very little money, and can be done with zero thought or effort on my part."
"There should also be a certain element involved where I only buy this extremely generic, low-effort thing that "men like" (like a box of golf tees when you don't play golf) because I f*cked up and want to show that I have exactly one atom of consideration in my body, so you can't be mad at me."
"As a woman I hate to say it but I love fresh flowers. Brownie points if he bothers to find out which kinds I enjoy most."
"It's the meaning behind it. All girls doesn't like flowers, this Reddit question is literally about what men want. If you don't like to give or receive flowers that's fine, but you're not talking for every girl, same as I'm not talking for every guy. Some like it, some not. But I'm saying what Guys like in my personal opinion."
There are plenty of ways you can treat your partner and show your appreciation for them. What's important to remember that, regardless of gender, everyone is different.
We have to be specific and pay attention to our partners. Treating them like they deserve to be treated, with respect and adoration, is important and necessary to making them feel appreciated.
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