The holidays are meant to be a beautiful, celebratory time. But for some, the holidays are a grim reminder of the loved ones who are no longer with us or who they may be estranged from.
Billie Lourd, Carrie Fisher's daughter, offered some poignant advice this season for anyone who may be grieving over the holidays.
Lourd has learned a great deal about grief and has openly discussed the grieving process on social media and in interviews.
Lourd's mother was Carrie Fisher, and her grandmother was Debbie Reynolds. Both icons passed away in December 2016. Carrie Fisher suffered from a heart attack on a flight from London to Los Angeles and passed away from complications on December 27, 2016. The very next day, Debbie Reynolds passed away after suffering from a stroke. The women were 60 and 84.
Losing her mother and grandmother so suddenly after Christmas took a major toll on Lourd. Since then, she's learned to look at holidays and birthdays as a way to celebrate the loved ones we've lost, and to do things on those celebratory days to keep them close, like play songs they loved or cook one of their favorite dishes.
Lourd also always takes the opportunity to reach out to her fans, as well as fans of Fisher and Reynolds who now follow her by association, over the holidays to remind them they are not alone in their grief, and they shouldn't be afraid to wear it on their sleeves.
On Christmas Day, 2019, Lourd posted on Instagram:
"Happy holidays! (But also sad/emotional/weird/stressful holidays!) Sending my love to everyone who has lost someone they loved and is missing them a little extra today."
"I see you. It's okay if everything ain't all merry and bright. It can be a mix of all of it. And it's all okay."
"Feel all the feelings - the good and the not so good. Eat something delish they used to love. Put on one of their favorite songs. Tell a story about them."
"Cry about them. Call one of their friends you haven't talked to in a while. Be kind and patient with yourself. Don't grieve in silence. You're not alone."
This is a beautiful, recurring tribute that Lourd offers to her loved ones that her fans enjoy, identify with and take solace in.
Fans and friends were commenting with their thanks for Lourd's kind words, wishing her a Merry Christmas and sharing their certainty that Fisher and Reynolds are proud of her.
@praisethelourd / Instagram
@praisethelourd / Instagram
@praisethelourd / Instagram
@praisethelourd / Instagram
@praisethelourd / Instagram
@praisethelourd / Instagram
The holidays certainly can be a difficult time when we remember the loved ones who are not in our lives anymore.
But as Billie Lourd reminds us, there are ways of taking that grief and turning it into something that's a little bit beautiful.
The book It's OK That You're Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand is available here.
