Invariably we've all been lied to at some point in our lives. As children we were probably lied to a lot.
Some lies are cultural, like stories about certain holiday characters. Others are told to avoid a young child's incessant questions.
And sometimes, a lie is told by an adult to get a certain behavior from a child—like silence.
Most of us learn these lies are lies once we reach school age, but not everyone.
Reddit user Astro-IlMeme69 asked:
"What’s the lie you believed the longest in your life?"
Plausible Deniability
"My dad at 79 still won’t admit to me that he was Santa and the tooth fairy."
"I asked him how he did it all and he just says… 'I don’t know what you’re talking about. That was Santa, son. It wasn’t me'."
"My dad is awesome. He can hold a poker face really well."
~ surveyor2004
Not A Lizard Savior
"My cat brought a lizard into the house. It was still alive. I decided to build it a terrarium and nurse it back to health. I did so and then released it back into the wild a few days later."
"My Mum told me that the cat immediately went outside and ate the lizard after I had released it when I was eighteen. She and my Dad knew I'd be devastated so they lied by omission and didn't tell me."
"The way she sat me down to tell me scared the sh*t out of me, I thought she was going to tell me something dreadful."
"I thought I saved that lizard for years."
~ LadyFeen
Chicago Bullsh*t
"While dating my husband made a joke about the Chicago Bulls disbanding after their 2nd Three-peat. I'm not a big sports ball fan so I thought he was serious."
"Just being funny, he told me this whole story about it being done because they kept winning and wanted to give other teams a chance so the players all went the other teams. I bought it hook, line and sinker."
"He was amused and we went about life. From time to time the Chicago Bulls 90's glory would come up as a topic and I would comment on how awesome it was that they were such good sportsmen that they disbanded to give others a chance."
"The first time I repeated it, my husband couldn't believe I still thought that was true and was so amused he didn't correct me. Every time it came up, he said it got funnier and funnier and at one point he decided to see how long it would go on."
"Cue about 8 years later and I'm at work and it's the NBA playoffs. Low and behold someone says the Bulls are their favorite team. Cue my typical comment."
"But this time my coworker looked at me and was like 'WTF did you just say?' The jig was up and I went home and said 'hey...did you know the Bulls never stopped being a team?'."
"My husband almost wet himself he was laughing so hard and said 'someone finally told you?'."
"I'll admit, it's pretty funny."
~ Solid-Question-3952
Skunk Weed
"Went camping with my dad when I was like 6. Weird smell a few campsites over; dad said it was a skunk. Would occasionally clock that smell again and think 'oh no a skunk' and carried on.
"We lived in the country so it tracked."
"Fast forward to 19-year-old me wondering why there would be a skunk in my college dorm in the city."
"Marijuana the whole time. A+ parenting, dad."
~ gt201
Mouse Massacre
"I had three pet mice that turned into what seemed like 100 mice when I was a kid. Got home from school one day and I had zero mice."
"Mum told me she had to take them to the pet store because it was just too many. Sad as I was I believed her."
"I was 15 when I found out it was actually the cat who got into the cage and caused a mouse massacre with no survivors. She said it was the worst thing she’d ever had to clean up and didn’t want me to hate the cat."
~ OutrageousCow87
Like Ouroboros
"That if I ran over the cord with the vacuum cleaner it could suck it up and eventually suck in the whole world."
"During an exceptionally unhappy time I said f*ck it and ran over the vacuum cord. Nothing. Do over. Nothing. Try a different angle. Nothing."
"My disappointment was immediate and immeasurable."
~ swankytaint
Some Like It Hot
"My mum told my sister and me that you must never eat hot or warm cakes because you’d get a horrible stomach ache, so they needed to be completely cold before you could have some. This usually meant waiting until the next day, which coincidentally was the day the cake—or cakes—were intended to be consumed anyway (birthday/Easter/Christmas/other special occasion)."
"I honestly didn’t put two and two together until I was in my teens and started baking my own cakes. I wondered how it was safe to make some cakes that were meant to be eaten hot or warm, like lava cakes or hot dessert cakes, when the main ingredients were essentially the same as the cakes my mum made (butter, sugar, eggs, & flour)."
"Took me a bit too long to figure out that my mum just didn’t want us hanging around and hassling her, asking to try some cake, especially if she was baking something that was meant to be served the following day and needed to be iced or frosted."
"Well played, mum!"
~ No_Application_8698
Fish Have Sensitive Ears
"My grandpa said you have to be absolutely silent or you’ll scare the fish away."
"Now, yes, they can feel vibrations, but I’m pretty sure he just wanted to fish in peace."
"I’ve absolutely continued the tradition with my kids."
~ socialmediaignorant
Ahchoo!
"My mom told us kids growing up that she was allergic to cats and dogs.
"As an adult I was talking to her sister one day and mentioned what a bummer it was that we couldn't have pets growing up as a result."
"She looked at me funny and said 'That was absolutely a lie. We had tons of pets growing up, she just didn't want the hassle'."
~ daddadnc
The Mushrooms Are Listening
"As a kid, my cousin and his brothers would go with their dad out in the woods to hunt morel mushrooms."
"Their dad would adamantly tell the kids that they HAD to be quiet while hunting mushrooms, otherwise they’d hide."
"He said that he was almost 16 y/o before it dawned on him that their dad just wanted to hunt mushrooms in peace."
~ BrickhouseCraftWorks
The Hamster Came Back
"When I was very young we had a pet hamster. He got out of his cage, so my dad put the cage in the basement saying he 'might get hungry and get back in'."
"One morning I woke up and there was the hamster in his cage in the usual place. I asked my mom how they found him and she told me she opened the door to the cellar and there he was dragging his cage back upstairs."
"It wasn't until I was a teenager and remembered the exchange that it occurred to me she obviously made that up and they bought a new hamster."
~ angelo_lope
Shhhhh... There's A Cake In The Oven
"My mom told us that you can’t make ANY noise while baking a cake or else it’ll go flat…"
"She baked a lot of cakes."
~ Raeonne
Ahchoo 2
"That I was allergic to hamsters."
"My mom told me that I was after I got an allergy test when I was 9."
"I was about 26 when I put it together that she hated rodents and wanted me to stop asking for a pet hamster."
~ Miss_Meaghan
The Oldest Profession
"OK, I'm going to sound dumb here. I loved the movie Pretty Woman as a young kid. I asked why people were mean to her, and my mom said because she was a redhead."
"She was wearing a blonde wig in the beginning, and in real life, kids teased the redhead kids, so it checked out."
"Years later, I'm 22, and my friend says she wants to watch it. Cool, I loved it when I was little."
"We start it, and right away, I'm like, 'OH MY GOD, SHE'S A SEX WORKER!!'."
~ yankthedoodledandy
Mashed Potatoes, Please
"One time my mom was at the store and she brought home something for herself, my sister, and my dad, and 5-year-old me was like 'what did you get for me?'."
"And to prevent me from being left out, she reached into the bag and was like 'oh, I got you this potato masher'."
"And for years before anyone mashed any potatoes they came and asked me if they could use it."
~ x47-Shift
What lie did you believe for far too long?
Harris For President
