What's so interesting about Evangelical Christians is how they continue to make an entire movement out of hypocrisy even though their Messiah's words are readily available—on the Internet even!—so fact-checking them is like the easiest task on Earth.
Their dedication is remarkable!
I mean, at least the Scientologists have the good sense to keep their holy books top secret and only accessible to millionaires! Maybe take a meeting with David Miscavige, Evangelicals, cuz the tide is definitely turning against you and it'd be a shame for your "movement" to collapse after so much hard work!
Anyway, the Evangelicals-showing-their-asses-and-the-internet-raking-them-over-the-coals-for-hypocrisy Industrial Complex (this is a working title, give me time) had its latest flare-up this week when Liberty Universityhuckster president Jerry Falwell, Jr. went on another diatribe about how much he and other Christians should worship Jesus Christ President Donald Trump as their Lord and Savior or whatever.
In a Washington Post interview, Falwell said that there was nothing Donald Trump could do that would endanger his Evangelical support—which is frankly the most horrifying thing I've heard in, like, at least a week—and that not supporting Donald Trump "may be immoral."
It's also a "distortion" that our country "should be loving and forgiving" because that's what Jesus taught.
No, that crap is just for heaven, you see.
"In the heavenly kingdom the responsibility is to treat others as you'd like to be treated... In the earthly kingdom, the responsibility is to choose leaders who will do what's best for your country."
Oh okay!
So God the Father, Creator of Heaven and Earth, Celestial Political Consultant.
Neat!
"On Earth as it is in Heaven" was just a clever catchphrase or something IDK!
But Falwell saved his best bit for one of Evangelicals' favorite topics: the poor. Hit it, Jer!
"It's such a distortion of the teachings of Jesus to say that what he taught us to do personally—to love our neighbors as ourselves, help the poor—can somehow be imputed on a nation."
Oh, okay, it's just Christ's supposed stances on abortion and homosexuality—about neither of which the man ever spoke a word—that can be "imputed on a nation."
Very cool!
But Jerry, like all good entertainers, saved the best for last: what, Jerry would like to know thank you very much indeed, have poor people ever done for anyone?!
Take it home, JerJer! A 5-6-7-8:
"A poor person never gave anyone a job. A poor person never gave anybody charity, not of any real volume. It's just common sense to me."
Oh wow, we're doing this?!
Okay then JerBear, the internet and also, like, your own God, would like a word!
At least Jesus has receipts!
Though something tells me they won't much matter to Falwell Jr. et. al. After all, they've never been in the business of Christianity in the first place, they're in the politics business.
Cuz the money's better.
And the church said? AMEN!
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