Every relationship will have its hurdles and high points, and every couple will have to put in the work of learning about each other, figuring out how both people communicate, and what makes each person happy.
But when it comes to interracial relationships, there are more discussions about culture and appearances that need to happen that racially similar couples might take for granted.
Curious, Redditor Baller-Mcfly asked:
"Interracial couples of Reddit, what was the biggest difference you had to get used to?"
Rage Against The Machine
"The dishwasher is being used as a drying rack and not to actually wash dishes."
- Lucky_Extent8765
"Dude, what the f**k? My Latina girlfriend just dropped this bomb on me."
"She said, 'We don’t trust machines like that.'"
"And I'm like, 'Okay, but you just put our clothes in the washing machine and started it, though…'"
- Worldly_Collection27
Complex Hair Care
"I’m a white dude married to a Black woman. I had no idea about the whole culture of hair upkeep for Black women. How much it costs, how much time it takes, how much it’s a connection point for her and other women..."
"Interestingly, what was a bigger adjustment had nothing to do with race. I’m an only child, and she is one of five, so obviously, the family dynamics are quite different."
"Next month we will be married for 24 years so I guess it’s all good."
- loudnate0701
"Ha! My boyfriend is white, and when he first met me, I had a blowout and straightened hair, and then I switched up and got braids without telling him. When I showed up at his house for our date night, his jaw dropped! Lol (laughing out loud), in a good way, though, because he said he loved the new style and found it amazing that I could do so many styles with my hair."
- BelleoftheSouth36
Social Social Social
"An ex was Latina, and while there really weren't any 'social' things that took getting used to, her family dynamic took some adjusting to because they were very close and involved in each other's lives."
"It was normal for the weekend's inevitable BBQ to be something I was expected to be present for if she was going because otherwise, 16+ people would grill her about me not coming."
- blahbabooey
"Yes! My husband is Dominican and I’m white, and his family NEEDS me at every function, no matter what. Or when his mom calls, I can always hear her asking if I’m close by."
"And my husband is kinda like that too. He doesn’t wanna do anything without me, and I’m more okay with being solo and staying home once in a while."
- Both_Dust_8383
Are You Sure?
"I was born and raised in the Netherlands (I'm half Italian and half Indonesian but did not grow up with those cultures at home except a little). My girlfriend is Persian."
"In the Netherlands, or at least in my experience, when people say no to something, then they mean no. Apparently for Persians, it's seen as polite to decline at least the first offer, often also the second, even if you actually really want it."
"So for example, If she would offer me a cookie and I'd say no, she would ask another three times before letting it go, which was cute but also annoying."
"Meanwhile, when I offer her a cookie and she says no, I just quit asking, and then she gets a little mad that I didn't ask her a couple of times more."
"It's not like the biggest difference or anything, but it's a cute, and in the beginning, a very confusing difference."
- LokMatrona
Even The Most Basic Commonalities
"My partner is from California, and I'm from Singapore. I think the biggest difference is popular culture. Everything from your childhood TV shows, the iconic music of your teens, and even your education system, is going to be different."
"You cannot expect your partner to know what Mr. Rogers is/have watched XYZ cartoon. All assumptions have to be thrown out of the window."
"I think it's a good thing, to be honest, because you start from zero. It makes you completely aware of how vast the world around you is, and I keep learning new things every day."
"Just yesterday, I learned that in California, there's a mascot called Smokey Bear that taught kids about forest fires. In turn, I told her about Singa the Courtesy Lion, which is a mascot to teach people courtesy/good manners."
"We had an entire discussion about mascots and teaching populations, and it was so fascinating."
"This happens so much that sometimes we can't stop talking to each other, lol (laughing out loud)."
- kafetheresu
They'll Never Learn
"I am white. My estranged family still implies that my Filipino husband is a scammer and is only with me for the money and Canadian citizenship."
"We have been together for almost 15 years and married for 12."
"You would think that if he was only with me for the Canadian citizenship, he would’ve left me 10 years ago after he became a Canadian citizen. I don’t even make a lot of money. He doesn’t even make a lot of money. But we are comfortable and extremely happy."
"There is a reason why I do not speak to my family anymore."
- Optional-Meeting3344
"Emotional Damage!"
"Culturally, Asian men do not talk about their problems or stress. It's a sign of masculinity to just quietly bear it all. So when things get rough, whether inside or outside of the relationship, my husband just becomes really quiet."
"At first, I thought maybe he was just really focused or motivated at the time. He doesn't express anger at all but at the same time, he doesn't express ANYTHING at all. That's when I know something is up with him."
"Coming from a half Latino household, we are very loud and expressive especially when we are stressed out, worried, or angry."
"The Asian and Latino cultures are so opposite in so many ways but yet so alike. It's quite a journey being married to an Asian man. I wouldn't have it any other way, to be honest. I think bringing cultures together through love is one of life's greatest things to witness and be a part of."
- Lilli_Puff
For The Love Of Cabbage
"I learned that Korean and Irish families are extremely compatible at a party with booze. After visiting I now believe Korea is the Ireland of Asia."
"Great first-world countries who have a long history of being colonized bury their feelings with booze and party hard as f**k. They also both really value family and talk s**t to them constantly. Both love cabbage."
- RatInaMaze
"Both countries have eerily similar recent histories of a powerful neighboring island nation colonizing them and attempting to wipe out their culture and language. And cabbages."
- metompkin
The Low To No Contact Journey
"The biggest difference I had to get used to was not talking to my mom anymore. She was not happy I married a white person and 'cut ties' with me. There was also some subtle racism from members of my family, even though it was small comments I think it's for the best that I don't live near any of them."
- TerenceDavisll
"Both my parents (of different races) were disowned by their parents because of marrying each other."
"It meant that we didn’t really grow up with any family. They chose where we moved to very carefully and lied about my father’s ethnicity and changed his name so as to fit in better."
- UnicornOnTheJayneCob
A Holiday For All
"I’m Mexican and my husband is white, so I got used to them doing Christmas on Christmas Day and not Christmas Eve. Nothing crazy, but I was so used to Christmas Eve being the big day, lol (laughing out loud)."
- Cabrona23
"This is why we always end up doing Christmas Eve with her Mexican family and then Christmas morning with my white side. Everyone wins!"
- PlumInevitable1953
It's Unescapable
"I'm a white male with a Black wife. Our two big adjustments: spices and moisturizer."
"Our spice cabinet runneth over, and we have a bottle of moisturizer in almost every room of the house. Now I also smell like Coco butter."
- jordang2330
Travel Woes
"My ex was Mexican with darker skin and I’m white, and the weirdest thing was how we knew it was normal to be together where we lived, but if we traveled anywhere south, north, or rural, we’d get weird looks and judged."
"My friend said her grandma from Iowa saw a picture of us and told her to not be friends with me… Yikes."
- CuriouskittenXO17
"I'm multiracial and racially ambiguous for the most part. It is DRASTIC how differently people will treat me depending on where I am. In some cities, people just think I'm a really tan white person. In other cities, people don't even think I speak English, lol (laughing out loud). Some places, I totally pass as white, and in others, I'll get racial slurs. Weird as f**k."
- punkcoon
A Tragic Wakeup Call
"It's not really something I'm getting used to but coming to terms with."
"I'm not in an interracial relationship anymore, but I'm white and my first two girlfriends were Black. Learning my parents were actively trying to get us to break up because of the color of her skin was something I didn't think I'd ever have to deal with, and I had to take a hard look at how much I was willing to see my family after that."
"I'm low contact as of now."
- Cautionnerds
The Horror!
"She likes country music."
- AdmirableAd7753
"My girlfriend does, too. I can't stand 90% of country music. Oh, and I'm the white guy who grew up in a small Oklahoma town. She is the Black woman who grew up in the city."
- mi-chreideach
From tragic to appalling to hilarious, it's eye-opening to think about how interracial couples are treated in public, at family functions, and within the context of their romantic relationship just because the two of them don't "match."
The truth is, while they may be interracial, they may be the perfect match for each other, regardless of what anyone else might think.
