The Absolute Worst Ways To Tell Someone Their Zipper Is Down

Way Too Much Attention

"'Attention, Walmart Shoppers: The guy on Aisle nine. Dude, tuck that in and zip up!'"

- d3astman

Corporate Email Potential

"CC (Carbon Copy) the company email all list."

- 1feralengineer

"BCC (Blind Carbon Copy) for extra confusion. 'Your fly is down.'"

- Hypo_Mix

Awkward Humor

"Stare straight at their crotch and yell, 'I'VE GOT MY EYES ON THE PRIZE!'"

- mogy_bear

A Fashion Statement

"Me: *Unzips zipper*"

"Guy with zipper down: 'What the f**k are you doing?'"

"Me: 'Just following your fashion...'"

- MyWarUK

Not a Concern in the World

"Tell them, 'Your garage door is open.'"

- azourgan

"Thoroughly Texan story ahead:"

"When I worked at my small-town Dairy Queen, there was the usual table of old men who came in daily for coffee and talk."

"One day, a regular shuffled in with his zipper down. So I called him straight over before he went to say hellos and whispered to him, 'Sir, your barn door is open,' while discreetly pointing down."

"He laughed real loud and said, 'Don't worry, honey. That old mule ain't gonna hurt nobody.'"

"Best regular ever."

- vmt_nani

'Friends' References for Days

"'SIR, THIS IS A FAMILY PLACE. PUT THE MOUSE BACK IN THE HOUSE.' - Gunther."

- sam-sung

Undeniably Awkward

"Tell them their zipper's open after a while of staring down there, and then maintain eye contact after they zip up."

- Icy-Chain9308

The Dramatic Acting Approach

"Point at the pants and shout, 'The Gates are open, noooo!' and run away."

- AddictedToMosh161

Definitely Not Her Phone Number

"Be me, an oblivious woman in her 20s."

"A guy and his girlfriend walked by me, and the guy had his fly open. I didn't want to embarrass him by saying it out loud, so I wrote down, 'Your fly is open,' on a piece of paper, folded it in half, and handed it to the guy."

"The girl gave me the stink eye, and I suddenly realized that it looked like I was giving him my number right in front of her!"

"The joke's on her, I am a lesbian."

- cinemachick

Immediate Anxiety

"Just tell them, 'Your zipper was open yesterday.'"

- Olda**rollerskater

The Voice of Concern

"Look concerned, and ask them, 'Is your zipper afraid of heights?'"

- LZ__

For the Visible Double-O and Seven

"Creep around like a secret agent and say to your watch, 'The carrot has left the salad.'"

"Then yell, 'I REPEAT, 'THE CARROT HAS LEFT THE SALAD.'"

- tazwell427

Public Humiliation

"It happened to my science teacher in high school. We kept on laughing, and it escalated to laughing and pointing. He finally noticed and left the class to fix it. Sorry, dude."

- be_yourself_T

...Yeah, That Would Do It.

"True story:"

"We were on an elevator. The only other person than us on there was an older man."

"As it opened for his floor, he turned to my friend, gently caressed my friend's stomach, and softly said, 'Your fly is open.'"

"That, don't do that."

- fenrir511

We can all agree that these would be absolutely terrible ways to let someone know of an already mildly embarrassing situation they've found themselves in.

Can we all just agree to discreetly pull people aside, or whisper to them in a way that isn't intimate, to tell them this from now on?