An engaged father is a treasure, but even the most absentee parent can impart lessons to their offspring.
Some people teach us what to do, while others are cautionary tales.
Looking back on life, it's interesting to see where and who we learned our lessons from.
Reddit user AlanBill asked:
"What’s the most important thing you learned from your dad?"
Support The Struggling
"To tell your kids that you are proud of them and always have their back."
"I got kicked out of school when I was younger and the only person in my corner was my dad telling me it was going to be alright and that we would work through it together."
"I’m entering medical school this year and would be nowhere without that man. He truly saw the bigger picture when no one else did."
~ ImUnbelievableReddit
Be The Buoy, Not The Anchor
"My dad was supportive when I started failing classes in school. My mom was basically telling me I was a delinquent and that I was going to be out in the streets selling drugs."
"My dad was like 'No, I just think the boy is bored at school and doesn't like it. He's smart and he'll figure it out eventually'."
"It definitely took me a while after high school to figure things out, but I eventually graduated from college and now work at a Top 50 ranked University. My dad was encouraging the whole time and never put me down."
"My mom called me a f*ck up the entire way. After all that, now she can't wait to tell people where I work to wow them and get credit."
~ esoteric_enigma
Road Rules
"He taught me to drive in the 60's—3 speeds on a tree."
"Also to drive a mile ahead and a mile behind (rear view mirror)."
~ ikesbutt
"A mile ahead and a mile behind? I don't understand what this means."
~ Plantayne
"He was advising his son that you don't just focus on the road directly ahead of you."
"You need to also be planning for what's ahead of you and keeping an eye on what's coming up behind you."
~ WOOBNIT
You Won't Enjoy Everything
"'You don’t have to like it to do it, just do it' when it comes to things you need to do."
"That always helped me push through and do what I needed to do."
~ FruitSnackEater
Just Do It
"Better to do the thing than live with the fear of it."
~ supervisord
Give More Than Required
"I remember one time having to go cut the landlord's grass so we could cover the rest of the rent. I was about 12 and little brother was 7."
"Before we left my dad said to me, 'hey, cabrón, how much is she paying you?' I said $50 and he said 'well then give her $75 worth of work'."
"I'm 39 now with a successful landscaping business following just that rule of thumb. Dad passed a little over a year ago, but that interaction stays with me."
~ PostMahomess
Empathy Isn't A Weakness
"How to have empathy and be strong at the same time."
~ Immediate-Kale6461
Don't Ignore Your Health
"If you don't follow advice to live healthier after the first heart attack, the second one might just kill you."
~ Lunasmyspiritanimal
Keep Going
"My dad says ‘when you quit going you’ve got one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel’."
"I always thought it was some old Boomer thing for staying busy, but now that I battle poor mental health days I feel like it’s just as accurate."
~ TeslasAndKids
Winning Is An Attitude
"'It’s not about who wins or loses, it’s about playing a good game—something you can be proud of when it’s over'."
"It’s been 10+ years since he casually said this to me. Stuck with me since."
~ NervousSeagull
What Not To Do
"How not to handle money."
"Thinking you are smarter than everyone else is the dumbest thing you can do financially."
~ SomeGuyInSanJoseCa
"My dad bought a big ol' boat and tried to have it declared a commercial vessel."
"When the IRS started garnishing his paycheck, I learned a pretty valuable lesson."
"Don't f*ck with the IRS."
~ PrettyBigChief
Expensive Stuff Doesn't Mean You're Rich
"My father drilled it into my brain that just because someone has a fancy car/house, does not mean they're rich."
"Taught me about debt from a young age and how it works, how people get trapped into the debt cycle. He taught me to be frugal, and how material possessions do not make you happy."
"This is the best advice I've ever gotten and has influenced my life drastically."
~ Old_Employer2183
Responsibility Doesn't Disappear
"If you have kids, they’re your responsibility."
"If you find yourself single down the road, it doesn’t change and they’re still your responsibility."
"My parents raised 7 of us. Mom said a marriage wasn’t 50/50, it was 100/100, you had to give it your all especially when the kids were growing up."
"Mom said dad told her his kids would never be cold or hungry and we weren’t!"
"He and mom were good hard working people, who loved their kids."
"I believe a whole lot of what makes or breaks a person starts at home. At a young age you must have an example to follow—without good parenting kids get lost."
~ SJM58
Trading Freedom For Status Or Comfort
"My dad never actually taught me to be frugal, but I feel like I picked it up by example. He's a wealthy doctor bbuthas always driven a beater car, wears velcro walmart shoes, t-shirts you buy a pack at a time, etc..."
"My grandmother would be like, 'people gonna think you're trailer trash' and he'd just say, 'Pshh'—just not even acknowledge it. I think my older brother and I always thought that was so cool, loved how little he gave a sh*t."
"But we never talked about it. Then when my little half-brother (trophy wife's son) got older, he'd buy fancy clothes and such and dad would always do his little 'Pshh' sound at him for it."
"One day little brother says something like, 'why do you always do that pshh sound whenever I try to look cool?' Dad's like, 'In America, money can buy either status, comfort, or freedom, and trading your freedom for status or comfort is disgusting to me'."
~ ItchyKnowledge4
Information We Can All Use
"Righty tighty, Lefty loosey."
~ JamesKPolk130
My father taught me it was OK to be obsessed with your interests. As a person with autism, this was an important affirmation.
What lessons have you learned from your father?
