Horror Movie Fans Reveal How They'd Have Survived Their Favorite Flicks

Don't Be Stupid!

The Strangers. The characters pissed me off the whole time. First of all, DON'T SPLIT UP. Also, TURN ON THE LIGHTS. Then grab the guns, camp out in the middle of the house, and wait for the killers to either leave or come for you, then blow their brains out. sjl1021

Stay Away! 

Ma. Just don't go back to the her house! yaggib

Or just don't trust a middle aged random lady and run away before she finds anything about you out. Ch8T0n

If you've got nine bucks, don't blow it all on pizza. hugeposuer

The Water...

Maybe not easily, but if I were in A Quiet Place, I'd live next to that waterfall. ChillyFireball

I bet there are just a bunch of people living near the Niagara Falls, using it a natural sound dampener to hunt the creatures. LTman86

Go Towards the Light.

Don't Be Afraid of the Dark.

Those things are six inches tall! All you need is a golf club or hockey stick, and one of those LED headlamps that last 1,000 hours. NeroJoe

This movie scared the living shit out of me. The old man giving up his teeth, and his maid's teeth, as an offering to get his kid back. Messed. Me. Up. I would be fine sleeping with the lights on but I would totally fall for their trap if they took my kid. Mister_IceBlister

Mother Dear.

I think I could survive Psycho, especially after the first scene with the dude (that he's clearly deranged) and a load of money in my car like she had.

However I would probably die in every scenario of the 'Saw' movies. Dewy_Wanna_Go_There

Don't be an Idiot. 

Jeepers Creepers. Idiots decide to investigate someone quite obviously shoving a dead body into a basement, in the middle of nowhere, without calling the police or letting anyone know where they are. AFTER that same creepy
person tried his best to run them off the road. Screw that! Reddit

Take a Brisk Walk. 

The Blob.

It's a slow-moving blob that has to touch you to absorb you.

You know where I'm not? Anywhere within 100 miles of wherever this thing. In my car, and gone.

Military, do your thing. Once you drop it off to stay frozen deep in the Atlantic, let me know, I'm sure there'll be new job openings when I come back home. Dunehound

Jump. 

The Descent.

"Well those are some well prepared young ladies who look to be off spelunking..." as I drive on by. Blink and you miss me! BartenderOU812

Yeah my policy is to never take up any hobbies they specifically ask you about in your life insurance application, so I'm definitely safe from any horror movie featuring spelunking. Also scuba, mountain climbing and hot air ballooning, just in case anyone ever decides to make a horror movie about any of those things. Yellowbug2001

Be Still.

Predator... as long as I don't pick up a weapon it will leave me alone. Greg_the_cactus

Would the Yatuja kill a disabled person? I'm just thinking of a scenario where my asthmatic butt is scrambling on the forest floor because I dropped my dang glasses. The Predator would be standing nearby probs not even doing anything because my audio-processing problems mean I can't even hear it.

Predator: "I'm sorry, but this would be TOO easy." locomocomotives

Wrong Number.

A Stranger Calls.

I don't answer calls from numbers I don't know. Demon-Senpai

Checkout Please....

1408.

"Excuse me, that room's haunted..."

"Cool, thanks for the tip."

I immediately seek a separate hotel. Danyawelly

And then some men with sledgehammers come in and destroy your current environment revealing that you never left 1408. stexski

Blair No! 

Blair Witch Project.

We're filming where? Looking for what? Oh ok I'm not coming to that. BinaryBlasphemy

"You're going to spend a weekend in the woods with who? Yeah that guy sucks... all these people suck. This sounds real boring." El_Gran_Redditor

Camping? I'm out. eyeball-beesting

I can't read....

Not really horror, but The Mummy. I can't read hieroglyphics, so I'd look at the Book of the Dead, go "neat book!" and walk away, so the Mummy would stay asleep. The_Late_Arthur_Dent

Are you kidding? It's a book that's a genuine artifact with cool spooky stuff written inside and it's made of solid gold.

I'd take that with me in a heartbeat. A part of me would want to keep it, but it would be ruthlessly obliterated by the part that wants to sell it. Still wouldn't be able to read it though, the mummy would be someone else's problem. TheVoteMote

On Dry Land Only! 

Jaws. Stay on land, problem solved.

Edit: Sharknado isn't a counter point. It's a different movie. Unless you can undeniably prove Sharknado and jaws happen in the same universe at the same time I say to you, "nah." MrRipShitUp

I Decline. 

The Invitation. Because I never get invited to anything. cointelpro_shill

That movie was so good. Me and my gf to this day if we are on a weird social situation at someone's house are like are we being invitationed right now. laaerpig

Shoot 1st!

Texas Chainsaw Massacre. It's Texas, I'd just find someone with a gun or a gun store and arm up. cryptidhunter101

This easily, like the guy's walking with a chainsaw, he's slow. Also, you're in Texas, so you have a gun. OwenFollington

Red Balloons....

It.

I'm not a child. And knowing that something would grow more powerful the more I fear it would probably cause some sort of reaction where I stop fearing it out of spite. The_Rhine

Boo!!

Scream. I hated parties when I was a teenager and when kids started getting knocked off, I'd have gotten the heck out of town and stayed with my Dad. He has guns! AllElse11

This would be me. I'd be at home studying. Although I did live in the woods in a rural area but if ghostface came after me they would just see a stressed out teenager screaming "I have two quizzes and an exam tomorrow! I don't have time to get murdered!!" Themaskedotaku

The Basics....

Anything that starts with someone touching/opening the thing that isn't supposed to be touched/opened.

I'm a basic rule follower. Movie would start with me reading the sign...and end with me walking away after reading the sign. chefjenga

See I thought I was like that. You know "don't touch the obviously alien and potentially lethal object." Easy. But then I saw this cactus in the desert and the spines looked kinda fleshy and soft so I got curious if it was more furry than spiky, and touched it and it hooked into my finger. SquirrelicideScience

Dead Already.

The Sixth Sense. There's literally 0 life threatening parts in it. All the scary people are already dead. Teetothejay13

Not true. Bruce gets shot in the first ten minutes.

*If anyone gets mad about spoilers, the scene literally happens at the beginning of the movie. Plus, you came into a thread in which spoilers are obviously going to be everywhere. Phoequinox

Rules are Rules. 

Any one that starts with people ignoring a public warning. I'm a stickler for the rules. Rhyye

Add the news reporting "mass disappearances in the neighborhood next to yours."

Or "People found with their faces cut off and their dicks stuck in their ears."

I'm gonna lock my doors, set up a security cam, and have my firearms easily accessible. ToastyMustache

No Camping.

Sleepaway Camp movies, just don't go to camp or call home after one murder has been reported. bubbered_boast

The Lazy Way. 

The Purge. Because 99.9% of people would just stay home because they want to live and don't want to kill people. improbable_humanoid

I imagine that if the purge were real, I feel like the real threat would be arson. Fires are easy to cause and burning down houses doesn't necessarily guarantee dead people so it fulfills a destructive urge while giving yourself plausible deniability on whether or not anybody died. GoldFishPony

Samara....

The Ring.

Because I don't own a VCR. Hickspy

Technically Samara adapted to modern tech in the 3rd movie "rings" and honestly I would just stay cool and try to become her friend or something because being so alone must be so hard for her. MendicantBias42

Pinhead. 

Hellraiser.

The cenobites, for being interdimensional torture demons, are fairly easily tricked.

They even say "no more of your tricks, I will tear your soul apart." And then they immediately get tricked again.

Also, I have a strict policy of not fucking with anything that shady vietnamese men with dirty fingernails sell me. Zappy golden puzzlebox? Nope, I'll just play my Vidya, thanks. OttoVonJismarck

Thick Air. 

The Mist. Literally, because all you had to do, was bunker down and not go the fuck outside till the military showed up.

ANd yes I do not know the military is gonna clean their mess up. However I am home almost all the time, that 10% chance I am outside at the time can be negated.

But the book version? No no no, I would definitely be dead 100%. CommonSenseEludesMe

Be a Sandra....

Birdbox. I stay inside all day. Hypnotwiiist

I think Birdbox would be difficult to survive in because of those fools going around making people look. And maybe just one day slipping up, and that's it! eternalrefuge86

Not Real. 

Slenderman

jk he's here now, someone please take care of my cat. carpetghost

Honestly use the enderman tactic from minecraft and hit him with you diamond sword in a small space that he can't reach cuz he's 3 blocks tall. EggronTheGreat

Dawn Down. 

Until Dawn, just don't go to the REALLY far away cabin to get laid.

Boom, easy win. the_quiet_whisper

Also, don't " prank" your friend so much she'll run into the woods to die at the beginning of the game. nermid

Hey Mikey!

Halloween. I'm pretty sure I could out run Michael Myers. Do I get to hear the music? That would increase my survival rate 100%. kellywithayy

Sorry to break it to you but somehow you'll inexplicably trip over nothing multiple times just so that good ol' Mike can catch you while moving at a speed that would suggest he's taking a stroll in a museum. 5-dollar-milkshake

REDDIT