Losing your hoodies to your partners is just a fact of relationship life. It's almost a rite of passage, let's be real. This is particularly true for anyone dating a woman. Speaking for womankind, we have no idea why we love hoodies and sweaters so much. We just do. We know it's weird, we know that hoodie doesn't really belong to us - but it belongs with us, ya know? Things between us and hoodies is just something too deep to explain.
One poor soul asked Reddit:
Yeah, the responses pretty much devolved into a support and remembrance group for the millions of hoodies lost each year to wives and girlfriends. RIP hoodie homies. You were loved. Here are some of the more popular responses. And women of the world, if you've adopted a hoodie from an ex please make sure to give it a loving forever home. Hoodies deserve it.
The Only Defenses
The only defense is being single.
Opposite solution. Lean in. Marry them (or at least cohabitate) then you'll always know where they put their clothes.
The Precious
GiphyIt is a war we lost long ago, son.
Be careful, or they'll come for those precious fries of yours, next.
- ionised
The One I Gave You
I give them one. When I get involved with a girl and she starts homing in on my outerwear, I select one I won't miss and offer it to her. That way I can always be like, "Where's the one I gave you?" whenever she asks if she can have one.
Partial Ownership
You can't....part of me thinks I got married just to gain partial ownership of my sweaters back.
Saturation
Saturation.
I have about 20 hoodies. My wife only knows about 15 of them. (I also have some shop hoodies that she won't wear which I don't count). I keep them in the truck, in the garage, at work, at a buddies place, and everywhere in between. Yes I have duplicates. And for gifts I always ask for hoodies. Got about five for Christmas. I also buy my wife hoodies in my size. I loose a lot of hoodies. I just consider them an expendable at this point. The trick is to have so my hoodies that she can't keep track and that way I normally have a hoodie to wear. It's super expensive but it keeps the relationship happy. Oh and as soon as she develops a favorite hoodie I steal that shit and wear it daily just to keep the rotation going.
Your Favorite
The trick is to give her you favorite one and you tell her it's your favorite. Girls always remember stuff like that. She will never lose it. Always take care of it. Plus she will want it to smell like you so she will want you to wear it sometimes. That way you only lose one sweater, and you gain her heart in return.
Gay Gains
Well if you're gay and the guy you're seeing is roughly the same size as you, you actually gain access to more sweaters and hoodies.
Forced At Sweater-point
You don't they look adorable in them and somehow even sexier. (Send help, this message was forced at sweater-point)
AP Biology
Work at a tech company. I gain new hoodies at a faster rate than I lose them. Not sure how a girl manages to continually consume what is ostensibly an infinite supply of hoodies, but my knowledge from AP Biology tells me fungi and other decomposers use them to create the building blocks for new hoodies.
