There isn't really a "reason" that people are gay.
People are just gay.
It's been that way for as long as there has been sentient life on Earth and it will continue that way.
But in every queer person's life, they have encountered a stark reminder that they do not want to be straight. Whether or not they express that, the feeling is likely valid.
On the popular subReddit "Am I The A**hole?" also known as "AITA," whitecheddar1016 wanted to know:
"AITA for telling my SIL that the reason I'm gay is 'because of women like her'?"
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Our original poster, or OP, began with the story of his family.
"My husband (29 Male) and I (27 Male) live in the same neighborhood as my parents, my brother and his wife. We walk to each other's homes for dinner on a pretty regular basis."
"My Sister In-Law (we'll call her 'Jill') is, for lack of a better term, insufferable. Jill has been married to my brother 'Jeff' for 3 years. Jeff is an engineer and Jill does not work, but will often talk about how she stays home with 'the baby,' which happens to be their german shepherd. This is especially annoying to me and my husband, who adopted a baby boy last year and who also both have full time jobs."
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He talked about how Jill just loved to throw insults and undercutting remarks whenever she could.
"Jill is the kind of person who loves to say small jabs whenever she gets a chance. She also LOVES to talk about 'how lucky she is' because since my brother has such a good, high-paying job, she'll 'never have to work a day in her life.' It's insane to me that she can brag about this around her husband's family, of all people. But that's just her mentality."
"Last night, my parents, Jeff, and unfortunately Jill came over to our place for dinner. We started to talk about the the unemployment rate as a result of the current pandemic. Jill then said, 'Well, fortunately for both of us, Jeff is still able to work from home, so we're gonna be just fine!'"
"I don't know why, but this comment just rubbed me the wrong way, and I blurted out, 'Man, I'm pretty sure the reason I'm gay is precisely because of women like you.'"
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"My husband later told me that my comment was awesome, but Jeff and parents told me that it was unnecessary and rude. I told them that Jill is always bragging about how she's basically able to mooch off of Jeff and I had finally had it. They still think I was being an a**hole though. AITA?"
The comment may have come after months of annoyance, but the internet was having none of it.
The Redditors assigned blame by declaring:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA - You're The A**hole
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH - No A**holes Here
"YTA for the reasons most others mentioned and also because....'which happens to be their german shepherd. This is especially annoying to me and my husband, who adopted a baby boy last year and who also both have full time jobs.'
"Why do you compare yourselves so much? Why do you care? This shouldn't really even annoy you, you're acting superior here and it's needless."
"'Is the kind of person who loves to say small jabs whenever she gets a chance,' You make small jabs at her through your post. Like why add that she refers to her dog as a baby? Or that unfortunately she joined her husband and parents for dinner? That seems pretty normal to me."
'"I don't know why, but this comment just rubbed me the wrong way,'It's because you have issues. There's nothing wrong with what she said, your reaction says more about you than her, a million times over."~RTJ333
"YTA - I'm not denying that Jill has a bit of an annoying mentality, but in my eyes what she said at the table was just fine. She said that they were fortunate that Jeff was able to work from home. I don't see the problem with that and what you responded with was not very nice. If Jill doesn't work, that's something between Jeff and Jill."~Faiilcat
"YTA, because as funny as that would have been, it was, honestly, pretty unnecessary and rude. Clearly your brother and your SIL are happy with whatever their arrangements are, and if you actually cared about your brother you'd like, tell him, instead of just kinda insulting her for something that doesn't...seem like a jab?"
"Also, uh, none of the examples you gave actually sound like the jabs you're saying they are. Most of the things you find annoying seem to just be statements. You just seem like you disagree with them, which should just be fine. You don't need to agree with everything."
"You already don't like this girl and I think you're reading a lot of what she's doing through a dirty lens."~elemonated
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"YTA. Being a freeloading parasite is not a trait unique to women and it's kind of misogynist the way you approached this."~grissy
"YTA, if your brother is fine with supporting his family financially then that's his business. Why do you care?"~blobbymcgoo
"YTA - yes, it would be a dick move to say that because but isn't true. You're gay because of your nature, not because you think some women and obnoxious. All good jabs should contain some truth. She didn't even deserve to be eviscerated because of her tone deaf comment, it wasn't that bad. She was actually right."~-Time_Rider-
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"YTA - Even as a joke, you basically said that you like men because they're better than women. Being gay doesn't give you a pass to be a misogynist. Why is it weirdly common for gay men to act like this? Asking as an LGBT woman."~TheOtherZebra
"YTA. Does your brother not have agency? He and his wife most likely made the choice for her not to work - their choice. It might not be one you like, but it is theirs. Your reaction was rude"~sweetsunny1
"Yta misogyny in the gay community is still misogyny, dude. You don't have to want to have sec with women to grant them basic human respect. You don't like your sister in law and sure she sounds annoying but you don't get to write off women as a whole. She's just living her life, why not focus on living yours." ~isle_of_sodor
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Being gay is definitely no excuse for misogyny.
And though the comment may have come from a place of incredible annoyance, Redditors were not sympathetic to how sassy it was.
*If you enjoyed this article, you can read more like it by clicking on the AITA link below.*
FEC
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