The Funniest Lies People Believed As A Kid

As children we're taught lying is wrong—usually by people who then lie to us repeatedly. Whether it's holiday related or in reference to milestones or just keeping information from us, almost all adults lie to children "for their own good."

I come from cultures where lying was traditionally a major taboo—often worse than killing someone. The penalty for lying—banishment—was considered worse than death.

Which led to some serious issues when these Indigenous American cultures encountered invaders and colonizers for the first time.

It was unfathomable to my ancestors that people would constantly lie about anything and everything. But they did—see the number of broken treaties for reference.

Now lying is pervasive is American culture with weight given to the types or purposes of lies. For the most part, lying to children is disregarded as harmless.

Looking back, many adults find humor in the lies they were told as children.

Reddit user One-Communication977 asked:

"What’s the funniest lie you believed as a kid?"

Navel Novelty

"That my belly button was a knot where my skin was tied together and if I picked at it the knot would unravel and my skin would come off."

~ Lykab_Oss

"So, I told my kid that if I unscrewed her belly button, her butt would fall off."

~ Dear_Hornet_2635

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🌩 BOOM ⛈️

"When it thundered that was Jesus bowling in heaven."

~ TraditionalTackle1

"My grandma would tell me God is cleaning his wine barrels."

~ XontrosInstrumentals

"My family's version was that God was moving furniture."

~ IncognitoBombadillo

"God was farting. We are a very mature family."

~ ilrosewood

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Think About It

"The rumble strips on the highway are for blind drivers."

"It took me seven years to realize. Well played, Dad."

~ Own_Information_8223

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Video Call

"That my older sister could see down the phone line. I used to call her on my birthday and show her all my presents by holding the phone up to them."

"This was the early 90s, using an early cordless landline."

~ chrisoverson

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Let There Be Light

"That the police would pull us over—or we would straight-up all die—if I turned one of the dome lights on in the car at night."

~ Acheron98

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Dental Denial

"That when one of my teeth fell out a beautiful little fairy would collect it and actually compensate me for my troubles."

"What a time to be alive."

~ lolasworldxx

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Privacy Please

"My mom used to tell me watching a dog poop would make you go blind."

~ Jibbles_Jibblers

"In my country people say that's how you get a stye [swelling or infection caused when an oil gland near your eyelashes becomes blocked and inflamed]."

~ aled35

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Looky-Loos

"I thought TV hosts from live news could see me. I don’t remember who said this to me or if I thought of this on my own."

~ wicked-cavelady

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Denim Disaster

"I'm in my 60's, so I grew up with Sunday dresses and lacquered shoes. And dresses/skirts, of course, and no trousers for girls every day."

"So in the '70's when jeans became the fashion, I wanted some desperately. But my mother refused because jeans would make a girl infertile."

"I guess jeans are the reason for the falling birth rates worldwide."

~ jezebel103

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Lunar Lurker

"The moon follows us when we’re in the car."

~ _alwaystee3

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Sh*t Happens

"My dad told me pumice stone was whale poo."

"I believed him and took some to school for show and tell."

~ Apprehensive-Ad4244

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Stuck

"That quicksand was gonna be a HUGE problem later in life."

~ ismellpizza25

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Long Lost Sibling

"My brother and my cousin convinced me for a period of time when I was little that I had a sister living in Australia named Sarah."

"There was, in fact, no such sister."

~ Mal234_

"My mom convinced my cousins that she had a child before my brother and I named Christopher that got sucked up in the vacuum."

"It was her way of getting them to stay out of the way while she cleaned after asking nicely didn’t work."

"Every few years my cousin (now a married father in his 30s) will get drunk and curse her out for that."

~ autotuned_voicemails

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🐶 WOOF 🐶

"I convinced my younger brother when he was like 3-4 that he was born a dog and had a surgery to become a human boy. I even got my grandma in on it and she came through with an old Christmas card from one of her neighbors that was a picture of them with one of their dogs."

"These neighbors looked NOTHING like my parents, so I don't know why in the world my brother believed it was dog-him and our parents."

"In retrospect, my grandma probbbbbably shouldn’t have been on my side in that situation, but she was a real one—my OG ride or die. Boy I miss that lady."

~ autotuned_voicemails

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Was His Name ET?

"My son was convinced by his 2 sisters and 2 female cousins that he was left by aliens because people with our last name couldn't have boys."

"I woke to him crying one night saying, 'I want to go home'."

"We laugh now, back then, not so much."

~ Exotic_Asparagus2185

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What's the funniest falsehood you fell for as a child?