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People Who've Had A 'Friend With Benefits' Share Their Experiences

Two pairs of feet sticking out from under the covers
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Reddit user asked Odd_Speech_2692: 'People who has had friends with benefits, how did you feel and what is your relationship with them like now?'

The line between romantic relationships and friendships can be a blurry one.

But can you really be friends with someone you have sex with on a regular basis without crossing over into relationship territory?

No-strings-attached sex can work with some people and not so much with others.

It all depends on the chemistry between the two parties involved and how far they're willing to go.


Curious to hear from those who have consensually crossed the line with their friendships by fulfilling their carnal desire, Redditor Odd_Speech_2692 asked:

"People who has had friends with benefits, how did you feel and what is your relationship with them like now?"

There's no drama. It's just sex.

No Regrets

"Still friends."

"Was great, no regrets."

"You both need to be on the same page though that there is no romantic connection/compatibility and it’s just 'fun.'”

– captnmiss

"Same. Still fantastic friends, we talk everyday."

– pixiejane

Sexually Compatible

"I know them very well. Over 12 years."

"I’m having sex with them because I find them ABUNDANTLY attractive (they’re my type physically but not personality wise)."

"I also don’t know if I’m a good average data point. I have a way too high sex drive and don’t see sex/emotions the same way others seem to."

– captnmiss

Scratching The Itch

"Had a similar arrangement in my mid 20s with a friend I had known since 2nd grade. She used to come over to my apartment like 3 afternoons a week. After a couple weeks of this, she straight up told me that we should start having sex on her visits but just for fun. Made it VERY clear that it wasn't going to be romantic in any way, and we would just be two single people basically scratching an itch for each other and having fun together in a slightly unconventional way."

"It actually turned out great and lasted for about 3 or 4 months. She was awesome in bed, we had a lot of fun together, and are still very good friends to this day. She was one of my wife's bridesmaids in our wedding, and her husband was my best man. They are our best couple friends."

– BrilliantWeight

No One Needs To Know

"I have a few friends like this. Turned out great because we knew what we were getting into. It was great fun but don't let others know."

– TwinTTowers

The arrangement didn't work for everybody.

"We were on when neither of us had a boyfriend or girlfriend. When one of us was in a relationship we just stayed friends. It was super cool and chill and we could remain close without the sex. Then I got engaged, and she lost her sh*t. She was under the impression we were both playing the field until we got serious with each other. She drunkenly called me out at a friend's wedding in front of my future wife. I had to end the friendship. I never saw any of this coming."

– Scoob1978

"I had a wonderful FWB who I reconnected with many years after we both left the same school."

"I got a friend request some years later - turned out we worked near each other, and we met up for lunch in our respective lunch breaks. One thing led to another and soon we were meeting regularly just to shag each other. This carried on for several months, possibly longer."

"Then she caught the feels, and tearfully told me she couldn't do it any more. I felt awful. As far as I was concerned, we were great friends who shagged each other and we both knew what the score was. But she felt it had gone too far and didn't want to carry on because she knew she couldn't have me in the way she wanted."

In hindsight, she handled it in the best way. We've remained friends - we don't see each other, but we're still on each other's facebook.

A few years later, we did randomly bump into each other at a concert. We were both with our partners at the time and all four of us had a chat. My girlfriend didn't know her, and had never met her, and even though the banter was nothing more than friendly and not a bit flirty, for some reason my girlfriend clocked immediately that we were ex shaggers.

– eezgorriseadback

Common Outcome

"Typically they end with one side catching feelings and ending the friendship. I have a few that I still keep in touch with when I’m in their city."

– MFKaelSinister

When One Got Emotionally Attached

"100 percent correct. Had a fwb for about 10 years, met in college. Very random and infrequent hang outs. Once or twice a year. Once we got to late 20s and she was single, we did a couple happy hours that ended at my place, she caught feelings big time. I declined. She doesn’t talk to me anymore and that’s over."

– I-bmac-n

These FWB couples didn't see this coming.

From FWB To Couple

"It felt hot and exciting but also like close friends. He was very attractive, super fun to be around, and had a lot of qualities that I like (gamer, geek, funny as all hell). I was looking for a good time and he was down. After a few weeks, I needed to move and he offered to come live with him while I found an apt. Then the Pandemic happened..."

"We've been together since. I call it love, he calls it Stockholm. Was looking for silver, ended up with gold :)"

"Edit: Wow, I didn't think so many of you would appreciate our 'from FWB to couple' story! My partner is also a reddit user and we've enjoyed reading your comments and seeing this pop off. Thank you for the awards kind strangers! As for the person who gave the gold award: I see what you did there... well played xD"

– auramistress

Started As Fooling Around

"It's was fun. Was during college, a 100% zero commitment and just fooling around."

"Now celebrating our 10 year wedding anniversary and have 4 kids. Someone didn't get the memo on just friends with benefits, but sure worked out nice."

– euesquecimeunome

Six Years Later...

"It felt exciting and fun. We got along very well. We'd often hangout and chill together."

"Anyway, we've been married 6 years."

– mkicon

Based on the responses, sexual situationships can work, but it's hard to determine whether or not it can last.

There are many variable to having an emotional disconnect with someone while enjoying an intimate, physical connection.

People's situations change as new people come in and out of their lives.

But the one thing worth contemplating when pursuing sex with someone on varying levels of acquaintance is, is it worth jeopardizing the friendship?

What are your thoughts?

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