When planning to attend college, those few weeks when acceptance letters flow in are as exciting as they are nerve-wracking.
All around you, your friends appear decisive and commit to various schools, every adult asks where you're headed, and you're left spinning as you decide what the next four years and beyond will look like.
bored waiting GIFGiphy
Faced with those pressure-packed circumstances, one Redditor made a rash decision.
They had always planned to attend school alongside a close friend. But when that friend suddenly developed different plans, everything they counted on began to slip away.
They schemed a way to right the ship again, invading privacy and possibly impacting their friend's life trajectory in the process.
Clearly feeling a little guilty after the move, the Redditor kept themselves anonymous, operating under the moniker aitathrowaway0021. They explained all the details in a post on the "Am I the A**hole" (AITA) subReddit.
Long before the recent dynamics, the Redditor's college plan seemed well in hand.
"Ever since I was a child, I always dreamed of studying abroad. We all know the benefits of studying abroad and I am sure if I don't profit from this now I will forever regret it later on. Luckily for me, my parents are financially stable and can afford sending me abroad in order to gain such an invaluable experience."
"However there is one catch, that is, I must go with a friend of mine as they won't send me there alone. I thought this wasn't a problem since I have been planning to go with my friend to country X."
But then came the pivot.
Blame it on an unexpected acceptance and some free will.
"This month, things changed. My friend and I applied to 2 universities in different countries. One of them doesn't have a capita on the number of students it can accept but the other one does."
"My friend got accepted to both of them but I only did to one."
"Both of them are good universities and objectively one is not better than the other but their education system does differ. When my friend got accepted to the university in country Y she told me that there is a possibility she will go there instead as she has relatives there that will allow her to stay in their house without her having to pay rent."
Suddenly, the Redditor's plan was crumbling around them.
"I was heartbroken by the news. How could she do this to me? She knows how much I want to study abroad and is well aware of the fact that my parents will not let me go alone."
"I told my parents about this and they assured me that if there is no other person I can go with then I will be studying here instead. I could not let this happen."
"Although she didn't say she is going to do it for sure yet, I need a definite answer or else I'll keep being stressed about it."
But an idea came to mind.
They took matters into their own hands and put everything back on track.
"My friend once told me her password on a game we play and I tried to see if she has the same password for her email and it turns out she does. So I logged in and rejected her admission offer and logged out."
"My friend still doesn't know this but she will soon. I told my parents about it to assure them that my friend will now be going with me but they got so upset on me and are now threatening me that they are going to call my friends parents and tell them what I did."
"I begged them not to but they are not listening. They want to do it in case she can still email the university. In the end I told them to let me tell her instead and they agreed to it (although I don't think I will)."
That parental disdain apparently left them second-guessing.
And so, they roped in the Reddit community for some moral guidance.
"Now that you guys know why I did this, do you still think I am the a**hole here? What's my fault for being forced to go with a friend?"
Reddit's harsh criticism of their behavior was nearly unanimous.
"YTA," an acronym meaning "You're the A**hole" kicked off just about every comment.
"YTA. You took away your friends opportunity, and the fact that you don't seem to have any remorse about screwing over your friend is appalling. I truly hope your friend finds out and refuses to go with you, because you absolutely don't deserve it." -- localtrashgoblin
"Yta a selfish a**hole. You made a choice for someone else because you didn't have a back up plan and your an a**hole."
"Don't make life choices for someone else." -- bassoonmonkey18
"YTA. And yeah, I read the whole post. You are a selfish AH and a TERRIBLE friend."
"If I were in your friend's position, I would never speak to you again. I would also consider reaching out to the university you want to attend to inform them of the sort of person they are accepting into their program." -- FinalFeeling
Many keyed in on that same element of the ruse: would the friend just accept the news and go to the originally planned school?
They felt the scheme would deliver irreparable damage to the friend.
"YTA there is zero justification for what you did. You need to tell your friend so she can fix it. Do you really think she'd go with you after she found out what you did?!" -- princessofperky
"Wow. This is abhorrent behaviour. You really need to ask whether YTA? Which you 100% are."
"How could you possibly think it's OK to do that?"
"If your friend can't get the offer re issued, I cannot imagine for a second that she'll want to be anywhere near you. I think you'll find yourself cut out of her life pretty much immediately."
"For the sake of the friendship, you need to come clean ASAP and put it down to a moment of madness. Judging from your tone and lack of remorse though, I don't think you'll do this. For your friend, she'll ultimately probably be better off for that." -- wurzelingdansk
"you got selfish and decided to have potentially ruined your friendship and friends university career. think about it, if things dont turn out well, country Y still wont accept her. also, she probably wont ever want to speak to you therefore country x is off the table."
"good job" -- eggtada
Others highlighted that the Redditor punished their friend even though all the difficulties stem from their parents.
"YTA. If your friend wanted to go to the other university, she should be able to because she got in. It's not up to you to decide and you stole that choice from her."
"Your situation sucks but it isn't your friend's fault, it's your parents who have decided you can't live abroad alone. And what if she doesn't want to live with you after this betrayal and you can't study abroad after all?"
"Just because there was a reason you did something bad doesn't make it okay." -- aitchbee
"YTA. It isn't your friend's fault that your parents are paranoid and overbearing. You had no right to violate their privacy and then make such a lifealtering choice on their behalf just because you were "stressed" and wanted an answer sooner than later." -- seriouslaser
"Absolutely YTA. You don't get to decide life changing events for anyone other than you. I'd be surprised if she even wants to be your friend after this."
"This is an issue between you and your parents." -- ricemeansnice
And some pointed to the front-and-center irony in the story.
"YTA. No wonder your parents won't let you go abroad alone. You are incredibly immature. No one in their right mind would think what you did is a reasonable solution. Immorality aside, it's just extremely stupid. How did you think this would work?"
"Your friend is going to realize that someone accessed her account and it's going to be super obvious that it's you. Do you think she'll still want to go abroad with you when she realizes what you've done?" -- tomhardysteeth
"YTA. You are obviously too immature to study abroad. You've selfishly made a decision for your friend based off what you want. I hope they find out. I hope they realize they deserve better."
"You may also be liable for fraud. Sooo, here's hoping the justice system gets ya." -- TheNorthernRedhead
We'll never know where everyone in this story went to college. But we probably have a good idea what happened to the friendship.
