People Share Their Best 'F*ck Around And Find Out' Stories

Humans just can't help but be stubborn.

We always have to learn the hard way.

I'm guilty as well.

I throw no shade with this commentary.

"F**k around and find out" has become a life mantra.

I'm always "finding out."

I was that kid who burned his hand on a stove to make sure the fire was actually hot.

To be fair, I thought I might have superpowers.

I had to find out if I was invincible.

Lesson learned? I'm not.

Redditor iwanttheworldnow wanted to hear about the times people learned the hard way, so they asked:

"What’s your 'f**ked around and found out' story?"

Kid Reasons

"When I was 13 a friend and I hopped onto a slow-moving freight train for... kid reasons."

"Then we took a 7-hour ride through nowhere before it slowed down again."

"Mom was pissed about that phone call."

- Meet_the_Meat

Traveling Indian Railway GIF by Grish MajethiyaGiphy

On my Butt

"Walking down the sidewalk in NYC with my wife, I saw a banana peel on the ground and was like 'Why do they always show people slipping on these? How slippery can they be?' I then proceeded to put all my weight on it, and totally did the legs flying up in the air landing on my butt thing like you see in cartoons. I looked up and my wife was rolling her eyes to the point that I think she was seriously wondering how she married me."

- Plug_5

When at Costco

"When I was in middle school my parents used to buy granola bars to have around as quick snacks for us kids. Well, one day they came home with a Costco-size box of Fiber One bars. I had no clue what fiber did, all I knew was those bars were tasty and I had an insatiable appetite, so I went to town."

"The next day at school my stomach was absolutely killing me. I mean it felt like steel wool was ripping around my intestines. It was so bad I had to have the school nurse call my parents to pick me up. When my dad arrived he asked if I had eaten anything unusual, so I fessed up to mowing through Fiber One bars."

"Dad: Do you know what fiber does?"

"Me: No."

"Dad: How many did you eat?"

"Me: ...Six."

"Cue the absolutely maniacal laughter from my father. That was about 20 years ago, and I still haven't lived that one down."

- d-dinosaur

PPE

"When I was a welder, we had a lot of people who thought using any kind of PPE was feminine, from old guys to brand new 18-year-olds. One day a guy was using the squint method to do a vertical weld and managed to splash some of the molten metal into his eyes. He's blind now, and due to not using the PPE provided, he wasn't able to get worker's compensation or sue the corporation."

- LordofDsnuts

Scuffles

"When I was a 'bouncer' there was a small scuffle at the bar and I went to go steaming in, my workmate told me to slow down. I don’t listen. The guy fighting played for Leicester Tigers (rugby), and he absolutely manhandled me like I was a small child!
I found out."

- CalCalDZ

45 years later...

"Put my finger on a hot car cigarette lighter. I didn’t think it was hot because it wasn’t red, it was white. Btw, this was like 45 years ago."

- CashWideC**k

"Not quite 45 years ago, probably about 35 for my buddy growing up. His mom got a brand new van and we kids were checking it out and he thought it was cool it had ashtrays and lighters in the back seat for when his parents had adults with them that smoked."

"The van was off and the keys weren't in it and he pushed in the lighter and when it popped out it was white so he said 'Oh it doesn't work' and put it on the tip of his nose. He was Rudolph for a few days or a week after that. That's when we learned that the car doesn't need to be on for there to be power to some accessories and they made some cigarette lighters in cars that didn't get red when hot."

- RandomMike02

Damage

"Tried cocaine and fell in love with it instantly. Suddenly I was this very social, outgoing guy who could finally drink like my bigger friends (I was about 130lbs at the time) without passing out by 9. Once a month turned into once a week, which eventually became every day. Alcohol and cocaine. My two best friends. I became a man whore, and somehow managed not to get anyone pregnant or contract an STD."

"What I did manage to do was ruin a marriage by sleeping with a married woman very regularly. I also lost jobs, lost friends, and almost lost my life due to my addictions. I’m 5 years sober now, but some of the consequences of my actions are still hovering over my head."

"Cocaine IS a hell of a drug."

- AirsoftScammy

STUCK

"I got my finger stuck in a bottle trying to get more cream out; my finger quickly became swollen and purple, and I had to go to the ER."

- Sims2Enjoy

Sick Emergency Room GIF by Brimstone (The Grindhouse Radio, Hound Comics)Giphy

Rewired

"My neighbor was remodeling her attic into a game room. She had stacks of beautiful old furniture including a Tiffany-esque lamp. She asked me if I wanted it but warned me it was probably going to need to be rewired because it was from 1910 or something. I got it home, cleaned it thoroughly, and plugged it in to admire the glass panels."

"Great, worked fine. Then I went to move it and touched the bottom while it was plugged in. (The metal base was missing a part). The resulting shock gave me a glimpse of the afterlife and I sat there stunned for about 20 seconds checking if my heart was still beating. Yes, it did need to be rewired."

- EmmelineTx

Swollen

"I was a 7 YO at a kid's party, and we all walked down to the bodega on the corner for slushies. I finished mine and while we were all hanging at the pool, I noticed an unattended slushie another girl had. I was still thirsty, and being a greedy little s**t, I put the straw to my lips for a sip."

"I just didn’t realize a bee was stuck upside down in the straw, stinger first. Stinger meets lip. Swollen for days.
The greatest story of karma I’ve ever encountered."

- Eveningwisteria1

Stay Closed

"Someone I knew wanted to open her marriage even though her husband didn’t want to. He said he didn’t like it but wouldn’t stop her. She couldn’t find anything more than casual hookups while he started dating an ex. He’s with the ex now, and they are getting divorced."

- NoBusForYou

"I've seen this on the other side. Dude begged her to open it up because he really wanted to pursue this other girl. Wellllll other girl didn't want him, The dude couldn't find anyone meanwhile his wife found someone pretty quickly. Good job bro, you didn't know what you had and you played yourself."

- Monteze

Throwing Down

"I once tried to chase a goose because I thought it couldn’t fight back. Spoiler: It absolutely can."

- SlimMia

goose GIFGiphy

Hire Someone!

"My life is full of them, but most recently I decided to DIY a small bathroom makeover in my basement. Mostly retrofit, drywall, laminate flooring. 3 months and a couple of thousand later, it's still unfinished, and I need to hire someone to finish. How, you ask, is this FAFO? My brother is a gifted GC who does not live close and said, 'Man, it's tricky, and can turn into a money pit quickly, just hire someone.'"

- HeavyPanda4410

4 Fingers

"New hire at work was running the press brake. A large hydraulic machine that bends metal. He was holding the part with one hand and letting his other hand rest on the bed of the machine. Hit the foot pedal, the top die comes down, and folds the part."

"Three different times he was told NOT to put his free hand on the machine bed. He would say okay, and after a few parts go right back to doing it again."

"He got into a rhythm and didn't pay attention to where he placed his free hand. Instead of resting it on the bed, he placed it on the bottom die. Top die came down with 35 tons of pressure and his four fingers were crushed off."

- Empereor_Norton

Don't Recommend

"My uncle gave me some M-80s. I thought it would be a good idea to light them up and put them in a large Fire-Ant nest, as a way to get rid of the ants. Turns out, all it does is piss them off and make them airborne. I ended up getting a nice hot shower of Fire-Ants. I don't recommend it."

- GoliathPrime

Eyed

"I was hitting a rock with a hammer as a kid, well the rock eventually flew up right into my eyeball. Took my family an hour to convince me that my eye didn’t pop."

- Meckles94

the office nbc GIFGiphy

Never mess with geese and rocks.

Geese have taken down planes.

They are notorious bird villains.

When will people learn?

And hammers and rocks?

These stories are harsh lessons learned.

Well, I hope they've been learned.

Some humans need constant repetition.