Everyone was beholden to certain rules growing up.
No TV until your homework is done, no sweets before dinner, lights out at 9:30 pm.
Frustrated as we were by these rules, we generally went along with them, as well as other customs and traditions organized by our families, knowing that just about all other kids were dealing with the same thing.
But were they?
Indeed, sometimes in adulthood, we've come to learn that the way things worked in our household were not what the broader population would consider normal.
While sometimes these discoveries only made us love our families more, other times it might have come as a very rude awakening indeed.
Redditor Limelight_019283 was curious to hear all the things about people's families they would later learn, for better or for worse, were anything but normal, leading them to ask:
"What kind of behaviour did you think was normal because of your family, then grew up to find out it’s definitely not?"
Making Halloween Even More Fun
"I've got a positive one."
"My mum always threw the best Halloween parties."
"We had to eat donuts off strings without licking your lips, throw eggs at each other and attempt to catch them in a net, feed each other blindfolded."
"Apparently these aren't normal activities for Halloween parties."
"Especially the one year we played them on the street with random trick or treaters who came past."- butterfly_cats
You Mean, They're Supposed To Like Each Other?
"A complete and utter lack of any and all affection and romance between my parents."
"Turns out, my mom was cheating on my dad for over a decade."- HokageBiden
"Your parents hating each other."
"I only realized this was not normal after witnessing my first boyfriends parents interacting with each other kindly and respectfully."- No_Scale7584
"I thought all married couples eventually grew to hate each other and fight all the time."
"Apparently I was wrong."- mossadspydolphin
All Working Parents Make Sacrifices
"When I was a kid I thought that ALL dads worked a lot and rarely saw the kids."
"Until I got older and my friends would tell me things like 'my dad took me to a baseball game' or 'my dad took me camping'."
"I was so jealous."- Overall-Surround-925
Why Dirty Multiple Napkins?
"This is gross."
"We had a large family."
"Instead of handing out napkins, we used a single dishcloth, and passed it around the dinner table."
"We weren't poor."
"Just uncivilized."- Comprehensive_Run453
Everyone Grieves In Their Own Way
"Making a big deal about death."
"In my family when someone dies, it’s like, 'Wow, that sucks, what’s for dinner?'”- OutrageousStrength91
It's Hard To Escape One's Upbringing
"I’m still struggling to describe the way my mom lives the way she does, but the only word I can think of is 'tacky'?"
"Unless anyone can think of a better word."
"For context she grew up in a poor village, but I don’t think it’s commonplace there and maybe it’s because of how her parents raised her."
"She is clueless to how things 'should' be."
"Like it’s not normal to use shower curtains as normal curtains in the living room."
"Or to make a homemade pillow by stuffing it full of old jackets, instead of going out to buy a normal pillow."
"Or pruning a tree using a butcher knife instead of ACTUAL tree equipment."
"She exclaimed, 'Doesn’t that look nice!', but to me it just looked like the tree had been demolished by a butcher knife."
"Or when she held my baby brother over the trash can so he could poop in it, except she did this in the living room while my friend was there."
"My friend didn’t want to come over after that."
"Or how we have 1 pair of scissors in the house that we use for EVERYTHING, from cutting food to cutting hair, and she used it to cut a mole from her back instead of going to the doctor."
"We all still used the scissors afterwards too."
"Or how she repurposes stuff in the house to re-gift to other people."
"Like, it would be okay if she actually put in the effort to make it look nice, but most recently she re-gifted a plate of cookies that a neighbor gave to us, except we ate half already."
"And twice she gave my brothers supermarket gift cards for their friend’s 12th birthday party."
"Everyone in my family, mom included, uses the bathroom with the door wide open, whether it’s pee or poop, though my mom is different in that she doesn’t care if someone walks in to brush their teeth while she’s doing it, and will have conversations with you from the toilet too."
"I didn’t know until I was in college that other families don’t share the same bath towel."
"And nobody cleans the house except with a broom occasionally."
"So you can imagine how it looks."
"My mom hasn’t cleaned her car in 15 years."
"She used to be dirt poor in the village, so I guess old habits die hard."
"I was desensitized to everything since I grew up in it, but even when I was younger I could tell that this was a bit gross."- JaguarOwn3633
Some People Just Can't Control Their Emotions
"Having tantrums because someone showed that you were wrong."
"Feels weird now seeing my 50+ uncle throwing sh8t all over the place because I straight up told him I'm not lazy I have to rest a lot because of a serious heart condition that I'm diagnosed with."- Weak-Sand9779
We're Not Talking The Birds And The Bees...
"Parents interrogating you about your sex life."
"Everyone made jokes in movies and school about overprotective dads."
"I didn't realize being woken up at 5AM to be screamed at wasn't normal."
"Or being told I'm a shame on the family for a tiny hickey wasn't normal."
"Or assuming every piece of my actions was related to sex."
"I grew up in an Evangelical cult."- KaRue3
When Teasing Is Anything But Affectionate
"I thought the people closest to you were the ones who were meanest to you because they saw the real you (and the real you was bad)."
"I also thought anger was only expressed as horrible blowout arguments, insults, name calling, and physical aggression."
"Such sad things to learn and very difficult to unlearn."- Designer-Sky
Always Thinking About Their Future.
"Living so strictly under the rule of 'everything you do needs to be working towards your career'."
"No friends, no boyfriends or girlfriends, no days to do nothing and no self expression of any kind."- Cheep_thehomelessman
It should be said, no two people have the same idea of what they consider "normal."
But if your own home is not a place where you always felt loved and protected, then you were deprived of something all children deserved.
Jane Rosenberg
Jane Rosenberg
@arianagrande/Instagram
@arianagrande/Instagram