Life moves fast and chaos comes flying at us at warp speed. So it's a minor miracle when we look back at our life and see all of the craziness we've avoided. Like being struck by lightning. It happens more often than you'd think. So avoiding a strike here and there is a major feat.
Disasters and basic run of the mill stresses run amok, so be grateful when you can stand and say... "Never have I ever."
Who can relate?
Redditor u/poopcornkernels wanted to hear about people's strokes of general luck in life, by asking:
What have you managed to avoid your whole life?
I've never been to a Vanilla Ice concert. That's harder to avoid than you'd think, when all of your friends were obsessed fans. I'm a child of the 90's. It's a miracle I could pull that off, trust me.
Cuffs Away
Episode 1 Police GIF by BBC
Giphy
"Being arrested."
"One of my favorite stories in recent years was that 99 year old lady who asked to be arrested as part of her bucket list."
When you gotta go...
"Pooping outside. Not much of an accomplishment but during my employment for the US forest service I came upon the realization that I've never pooped in the woods and I'd like to keep that streak going."
"As a lifelong IBS sufferer I can say if you haven't pooped while looking out over majestic scenery you are missing out. Also having a group of people waiting for you to finish is very embarrassing."
PAIN!
"Kidney stones. I had problems getting on the right medication. Found one 5 years where the biggest side effect is kidney stones. Thank the lord it hasn't happened... yet."
- cboy6_9
"It is freaking HORRIBLE. Not to scare you, but I was in pain for about 3 months. It was insane. It's literally the most painful thing that's happened to me. I even had a mother of 2 with cancer say "I don't envy you, they're so painful it's horrible" which made me feel even worse."
"Apparently there's a high chance that once you have one another will come along fairly quickly due to... y'know... they're still being plaque in there and man, I am NOT looking forward to that. The moment I feel it I'm running to the doc and begging them for one of those fancy sound wave pulveriser things.
Health
"Cancer."
"Quite a few of my professors (biotech degree) worked in cancer research. They've all said that basically if you live a long enough, healthy enough life, cancer will get you in the end. The only way you don't get cancer is if something else gets you first. They also all agreed the only two things you should really, really concern yourself about in regards to avoiding cancer are - don't smoke/chew/use tobacco and don't tan."
"Everything else is negligible, so don't sweat all those sensational news stories about studies that say hot beverages cause throat cancer or using dryer sheets causes cancer. As one of them liked to say, "Life causes cancer."
"Edit: Of course, this is not to say that if you are healthy and avoid those two things, you will NOT get cancer, just that those are the two things that almost definitely WILL get you cancer. As well all know, sometimes cancer gets you anyway."
The Verdict
Sue Me Jury Duty GIF by Sabrina Carpenter
Giphy
"Jury duty."
"Aaaaand... just pop back in and let us know when your summons shows up. It should be within about a week."
I'm grateful to be able to say "Never have I ever" on a few of the big ones here, thus far. Fingers crossed that trend continues. I can attest, pooping al fresco isn't that traumatizing.
Cat Meow GIF by Cats Movie
Coin Counting
"Wealth."
"Funny enough i was thinking the other direction: Debt. I've managed to avoid all long term debt up to this point. Dumpster diving to closed equity investments."
"It did mean there were times when we literally sold everything we owned and lived in our car... Starting out your life with debt is a handicap, and despite the struggles not having our future mortgaged has made it possible for us to survive."
- Oriumpor
Stung
"Getting stung by a bee or wasp."
"I was walking with a friend in high school down this wooded hill full of brush and debris. At one point, my friend (about 10' in front of me) turns around and goes "Whoa!" He doesn't say anything else, I follow suit, turn around, and there's a huge nest of Yellowjackets. Well, they didn't mind my friend, but he apparently put them on guard because me stepping over them enraged them."
"I ended up sprinting down this wooded hill, lucky my foot didn't catch on a branch or something. I ended up getting stung 9x I believe it was; Three times on my back, one on each ear (so much heat radiates from an ear sting), two on one arm, one on the other, and one on my legs. I couldn't sleep well for a few days, everything hurt."
- Gashnor
No Joke
"Addiction and pregnancy so far."
"You're lucky, for many people and myself including, it only takes a week to become physically addicted to opioids. A week on kratom and I'd get withdrawals even. It's so messed up. Opioid withdrawal is by far the worst out of anything. I can kick alcohol and power through the withdrawal a dozen times now, but not once have I been able to withstand any opioid withdrawal."
- user deleted
Love
Happy Four Weddings GIF by TLC
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"Divorce."
"Never been in a relationship so I'm steps ahead (or behind) haha."
I'd rather eat bees than watch "CATS." That movie nearly ruined movies. Talk about being traumatized.
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