Self-sabotage is something a lot of people can relate to. But some people torpedo their entire lives with bad choices.
Such impulses become a serious issue when it creates problems in daily life. Some common self-sabotaging behaviors include procrastination, self-medication with drugs or alcohol, inappropriate reactions to daily life, and unsafe or personally or professionally harmful sex.
Reddit user Addictiveprinces asked:
"What's the best example you have witnessed, of someone destroying their own happiness/life?"
Attitude Of Anger
"I worked on a school bus as a monitor/aid. There was one driver—we'll call him Ed. Ed was always complaining about something, every single day there was some new issue, some problem."
"He was a bit of a pain. He got into an argument with one of our supervisors over the radio one day and earned himself a 3 day suspension."
"His first morning back from his suspension. First route of the day, he gets on the radio and starts back complaining. Dispatch asks him a few simple questions, he responds with hostility and some really unprofessional comments."
"The director of transportation (our big boss) gets on the radio and asks Ed to meet him in his office after morning routes. Ed responds, 'I'll be there if I have time' to which boss says, 'I need you to understand, this is not optional'. Ed comes back, 'I need YOU to understand, I'll be there if I have time!'."
"Mind you, this is on the radio as we are picking up high school kids, everyone can hear what's happening this entire time. Another dispatcher calls in and tells Ed 'when you finish your high school route, park your bus there at the school. We are bringing someone to take your route over and to bring you back to the lot'."
"Ed did not like this and responded by saying, 'Negative. I am finishing my route. Me. If you want someone to drive my route, you get (our boss's boss) and have her come drive this route. Otherwise, I am finishing my route'."
"Dispatch asked for an ETA to the high school, he responded 'whenever (our boss's boss) is gonna be there. Otherwise, I get there when I get there'. Somewhere around this time he starts talking like, they were targeting him and picking on him and saying 'it ends today'."
"Again, at this point he has a bus full of high school kids."
"Now, I did not see what happened at the high school, but I heard from several other drivers. Apparently, the police were waiting for him once he got there, and they removed him from his bus."
"To quote one driver, 'he acted a fool the entire time'. I'm not sure exactly what he was charged with, maybe kidnapping since he acted like he wasn't gonna bring the kids to school unless he got what he wanted? Theft for not bringing the bus back? No clue. But I do know he was arrested and fired."
~ Klown1327
Sh*t Doesn't Have To Happen
"Some guy at work was caught red-handed stealing Airpods from the locker room. When he was sent to pick up his own kit from the locker room before being sent home, he excused himself to go to the toilet and defecated on the floor."
"The kicker is that we work on an oil rig. It's impossible to get away with theft, and he was a senior technician making really good money. He didn't need the Airpods—he was just stealing for the fun of it."
"He's now 'not required back' at this company and all the companies talk to each other. He shat away his career over a pair of Airpods."
~ Elgin-Franklin
For A Few Dollars More
"My former company hired a safety officer into a really well-paid position. He was smart, personable, and really improved the safety program."
"He was caught buying gift cards and expensing them to the company. Took down half the department with him, since they were in on it too."
"I will never understand destroying your career for a few thousand dollars."
~ AnthropomorphicSeer
Hope It Tasted Good
"A nurse I work with recently got fired. One of our residents (nursing home) was in the hospital. He had a debit card but statements went to our business manager."
"She noticed a charge (for a take out lunch!) on his card. Generally we take residents' wallets and put them in the nursing manager’s office, but this one was in the narcotics box, meaning only nurses for that unit had access to it."
"When the business manager, nursing manager, and executive director called in this nurse to discuss it, he lunged at the business manager and put her in a chokehold."
"He is in his late 50s/early 60s. He had a full career with a pension from the army before nursing. He made reasonable money as a nurse."
"And now he has an assault charge, a financial abuse of a vulnerable adult charge, and I’m sure he is losing his nursing license. Over stealing money for a take-out lunch."
~ Sehmket
Grass Isn't Greener
"My parents old pastor and best friend. He had many friends, a successful music career in addition to being a pastor, ran a music venue, had a doting wife, five kids. Then he decided to cheat on his wife."
"He became hugely paranoid and started tracking his wife and kids so that he knew where they were so he wouldn't get caught. He installed hidden cameras throughout his house because he convinced himself that his wife was probably cheating too—she wasn't."
"He also told her to stay home from events he was doing because 'no one likes you' and 'no one wants you to come because you are boring'. He also lies."
"My parents caught him red-handed all over a woman at a concert that he didn't think they would be at. They told his wife, and she called him, and he lied and then let slip that he knew where his wife was."
"That's when she found the cameras and the air tag on her car."
"Now, none of his children talk to him, and he lost the house, his friends, his music buddies, everything. The affair woman too. She left him when he had nothing to give."
"And he's not remotely apologetic about it and still tries to convince people that he was in the right. He lives in a trailer by the beach now, trying to relive his youth at 65."
~ FiendishCurry
From Set For Life To...
"This kid I went to college with was in the Army Reserves making really good grades, and his parents were really well off. The kid's life was set."
"Got an allowance every month from his parents, had a nice brand new car for school, lived in a nice apartment right off campus and he had so much going for him. He didn't even have to work, just do his monthly reserve days which were like 3 days a month."
"So, set for life."
"Then he pissed hot at a random UA (drug test) for cocaine. He got lucky and the Army gave him a second chance. Not even 5 months later he pissed hot AGAIN for cocaine and marijuana. He somehow got lucky, again, and they just kicked him out in an 'Other than Honorable' discharge."
"Parents pulled his funding and he had to get a minimum wage job at a sandwich shop. Never saw him again until he randomly popped up on my Facebook about a year later. I hit him up to see how he was."
"Up and moved halfway across the U.S. with this girl he got pregnant, and they were both working at Walmart, barely affording rent. He sold his BMW to pay for the move up there. He also looked rough, to say the least, in a lot of his pictures."
~ BeyondXpression
Better Off Without Him
"My dad. He was a really talented mechanic and the shop foreman. Well liked, made great money, loved his job, owned a nice house in a beautiful neighbourhood, in a port town we all loved. Married to a wonderful woman (my mom), had two kids."
"He just couldn’t stop drinking. He became abusive and horrible. Lost everything. His house, his job, his family. He drank himself to death when I was 19, and my sister was 17. He died alone."
"To her enormous credit, after she left him, my mom put herself through school and supported us all on her own."
"She got blacklisted by my dad’s family and hers when she left him since the divorce was something they all looked down upon, and felt she shouldn’t 'shame the family'. They even threatened to gang up on her and lie in court, saying she was on drugs if she didn't go back to him."
"It was the bravest and best thing she ever could’ve done for us."
"At his funeral, all these same people just kept telling her how 'brave' she was, and 'we didn’t know how bad he was until years later'. They knew because we told them."
"My sister and I are both successful, thriving adults with great professions. We have our own families and children, we both own our houses and have a good income. We’re well educated. Our lives are filled with love. It’s all thanks to my mom."
"Over the years I think about my dad from time to time. Having my own children now, a husband, all of whom I love dearly—I can’t imagine any scenario I would ever put them through that."
"I don’t feel sad about it anymore. But it’s just such a waste. His whole life. And for what? Some liquid in a bottle."
"Addiction is a terrible thing."
"My mom is a rockstar. The three of us don’t have contact with either side of the family anymore, and haven’t for a long time. We love our little trio that has grown to include in-laws, grandchildren, and lots of friends."
"Your family is who you make it—don’t waste time on people who dont love you."
~ Polishmich
Take A Breath
"Ex coworker applied for the same internal job opening as me. I got the position, and she instantly messaged all of our coworkers that she was going to 'punch me if she sees me in the parking lot' while they and myself were all at work."
"Someone reported it to management and that's how I found out. She got fired on the spot."
"For weeks, she continued to call my personal phone and state I owed her money for her losing her job."
"Anyways, she ruined her reputation, her credentials were reported to the board by my employer. All she had to do was take a step back and ask the employer why she didn't get the position instead of going right to emotions and completely destroying her career."
~ thatpunknurse
Take A Deep Breath
"A coworker applied for a job on the team I'm on. It was given to an external candidate who was more qualified and experienced."
"I happened to be on break with mutual friends when he saw me and chose to dump his anger on me. Because the job went to an outsider."
"He also questioned if there was racism—he is an immigrant. I sputtered that it wasn’t my decision, I was on break, and this was inappropriate."
"I got up and returned to my desk. I shared what happened with some people, and it turns out this coworker had similarly harassed another person on our team that day."
"Within two hours, all relevant managers had addressed the behavior, and an apology was given. He wasn’t fired, but he had blown any chance of getting an internal promotion."
~ mermaidpaint
Everyone Does It
"My younger brother broke up with a girl he liked... because she farted in her sleep."
"He was telling my older brother and I that he was in the midst of a miserable dry spell. And how he'd been seeing a girl he liked, but then she farted in her sleep and he was so grossed out because 'there are some things you don’t need to see your SO doing. It just felt like the mystery was gone'."
"My older bro was like 'yeah, cause that’s what the mystery was about, farting'."
"I called younger bro a 'f*cking moron' and older bro quipped 'you’re half right'."
~ _hootyowlscissors
Addictions Are Addictions
"My buddy Steve was the poster child for 'has it all.' Good career, amazing wife, cute house."
"Then, the model trains happened. Not little setups—this guy took over the whole basement, then the whole garage. His wife went from amused to livid."
"Arguments turned into screaming matches. She eventually left, and Steve, in his model train bliss, barely noticed."
"The twist? He inherited a ton of money and spent it all on antique train sets. Eventually, though, he noticed he was all alone, and no model could cure the blues of losing his incredible wife."
~ StrykerXion
Life Doesn't Have To Be Hard To Be Good
"My brother was offered a really well-paying job doing something he's excellent at."
"He thought it would be too easy, so he chose a much more challenging job in a less appealing environment with a boss who is a real jerk. He hoped to impress him."
"Now, he's really unhappy. I just don't understand why he puts himself through this kind of thing."
~ Icy-Establishment850
Lose The Tin-Foil Hat
"One of my former friends from college worked as an analyst for a pretty big investment bank. He did NOT handle COVID and isolation well and got really into conspiracy theories and became—exposed himself as—a straight up racist."
"When he returned to office, he refused to work with anyone with dark skin, Muslims or women he deemed inferior to his intellect. This did not go over well with his boss, who was a second-generation Somali immigrant, a Muslim, and a woman."
"He was fired and he still hasn't found another job in the same league as what he blew up."
~ Panzerpython
Some of these hit much harder than others.
What would you add?
