For better or for worse, once you've found your person, you never want to let them go.
At least that's what they say until unsolvable drama arises stemming from irreconcilable differences that ruin a marriage.
With divorces being so common, it's no wonder why many people are afraid of commitment.
Curious to hear examples of what being in the wrong relationship is like, a Redditor asked:
"When did you realize you were in a marriage with someone who wasn't the right fit for you?"
No need to further explain. These are unforgiveable.
The Last Straw
"It was when a close family member died and she angrily called me a baby later that night because I wanted to talk to someone(anyone), which unfortunately had to be her."
"From then on, I remember sitting in my car for long periods of time after work and just building up the energy to go into the house. It took 2 years to finally divorce."
– jujapee
A Lesser Evil
"When my exhusband screamed in my face the night my mom unexpectedly died. Then I realized he’d been emotionally and financially abusive for years."
"Divorce isn’t easy and being a single parent isn’t easy- but it’s a hell of a lot easier than being treated like sh*t everyday."
– bippityboppityFyou
Manipulative
"When my ex-wife continued to lie, gaslight, and argue over the slightest sh*t. She would isolate me from friends and family. She also threatened divorce numerous times over mundane shit like expecting her to share in household chores."
"List goes on but I filed first to officially divorce her. It was worth it and now remarried to a much better woman and partner."
– technofox01
Epiphany
"He kept doing little things that made me doubt my reality. Like he’d take the lunch I’d packed for myself in the morning (leaving for work before me) and then later when I texted him about it he would deny it. Send me a photo of the Burger King he was eating on his break and say 'are you sure you even packed a lunch?' ”
"He’d move my things around. I’d leave my phone charging in the kitchen and then I’d go look for it and it would be gone, only for it to be charging in the living room. "
"It got to the point where I was taking photos of food I’d made, or something I’d left in a specific place, and then deleting them from my photos album because he insisted we have each others passwords and he sometimes looked in my phone. I relied on my deleted photos folder, and would compare the photos with what I was seeing irl."
"One day I was doing this and it was like I was able to see myself doing it from an outside perspective and it finally dawned on me how toxic our relationship was."
– hrowRA-nonSeq
Consequences Of Ignoring Red Flags
"I had a 104 fever, shivering so bad I felt like I was having seizures. Tylenol barely brought it down to 102 for a couple of hours. I begged my husband for 2 days to drive me to the ER (insurance wouldn't cover an ambulance ride). He eventually got annoyed enough by my begging and dropped me off."
"I was in the hospital for 5 days, he didn't call or visit once. Then I had to call him and beg him to pick me up after discharge, and that took almost a day. I knew then that it was over."
"Bastard had the nerve to go to all our mutual friends, after I told him I was leaving, and weep and cry about how I was abandoning him for no reason. They all hated me. I guess the trash took itself out."
"There were so many other red flags and intolerable behaviors I ignored up to that point, but that's when I finally smartened up."
– LeelooDallasMltiPass
When you know in your gut it's not right, taking the next step is not easy.
Forced Companionship
"I realized that spending time with them was stressful and felt like an obligation, and that it has been that way for some time. I was at my happiest when they were asleep."
"So I doubled down and spent another miserable 5 years with them. LPT: don't wait until you are sobbing in your car after work because you just don't want to go home."
– filthyantagonist
"When I had surgery (herniated disc) & he was not helpful, caring, or supportive in any way. Huge eye opener."
– Cultural-Addendum-18
You Can't Fix Lazy
"Ultimately, I knew when I was walking down the aisle, but what really nailed that coffin shut was when the shower broke while he was in it (I was at work.) He decided not to do anything about it or even tell me about it. He simply left the shower as it was actively leaking, finished getting ready, and then left for work himself."
"When I got home, our shower/bathroom had flooded and I was stuck cancelling all my evening plans to stay home and meet the plumber to get it fixed. It was the final selfish act of so many exactly like it."
"I got my ducks in a row and left six months later. I’m happily remarried to someone who not only fixes things for us if they get broken but actively tries to make my life better and more convenient/efficient."
"But I still get angry about that shower situation 8 years later."
– Careless_One6439
Listen To Your Gut
"About three months before the wedding. I thought it was just cold feet. I learned an important lesson: if you have doubts about something, pay attention to them and don’t rush into anything."
"Take your time to understand why you’re feeling the way you are and to figure out what you want."
– SparkleHurricane
No Spark
"When the idea of having physical contact with him made me feel disgusting."
– SeaBeeTX85
Better Alone
"Not that it was one big thing, but rather many small things. The very last one was: He kept saying he needed rest, didn’t want to be with us, always taking my words the wrong way, and would just sit and play computer games, so I was the only one taking the kids out. Oldest kid had a Christmas party at their kindergarten."
"Actually, all of the Christmas time activities I was by myself, trying to take them places during like this magical season of fun and memories for kids. I realized I’m alone anyway, so it wouldn’t be much different if we were divorced."
– CGHvrlBt848
The Experiment
"We were fighting a lot, and it was like we were too close to the problem. We couldn’t talk without fighting. So i suggested we take a break for a couple weeks, so we could work through some stuff without the emotions. When we sat down to have lunch two weeks later, it clicked that I had been happier the last ten days than I had in quite a while."
"I was done in that moment. We separated, and a little while later I found out she’d been cheating on me for at least six months. So, f'k her right? She’d been sleeping with a friend of mine’s wife. FWIW, they are still together 15 years later."
– outtahere021
Infidelity is another factor leading to the dissolution of marriage.
They Found Someone
"Not until she came to me one day after 32 years of seemingly wedded bliss and told me she met someone she was truly attracted to, and that she had never felt like that about anyone else - including me."
– BeanMachine1313
Sexual Awakening
"Blindsided: After I caught her in an affair. With a woman. She came out eventually & they are still together."
– j0chapstick
"My ex, when I said we needed to split, asked me very solemnly: 'Are you gay?' It actually made me laugh pretty hard because he's fully aware I'm bisexual and had slept with quite a few men before him, plus we'd been arguing for years about him putting 0 effort into our relationship, yet he somehow still landed on that as the only possible explanation."
"Great guy, we make excellent friends which is what kept us going for over a decade but I'm not sure we were ever a true romantic fit."
– Evening-Function7917
You can't predict whether or not you'll have a healthy relationship, but that notion doesn't stop people who confuse love with lust commit to each other without assessing the reality.
The crazy thing is, those unions sometimes last, and good on them.
The best takeaway is to follow your gut and not ignore the warning signs indicating the person with whom you're sharing a bed might not be your person.
@realDonaldTrump/Truth Social
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