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Conservative Christians Want To Replace Halloween With 'JesusWeen'—And Twitter Can't Stop Chuckling

Conservative Christians Want To Replace Halloween With 'JesusWeen'—And Twitter Can't Stop Chuckling
@PastorTrey05/Twitter
Mike Walsh
By Mike WalshOct 14, 2021
Mike Walsh
Mike is a writer, dancer, actor, and singer who recently graduated with his MFA from Columbia University. Mike's daily ambitions are to meet new dogs and make new puns on a daily basis. Follow him on Twitter and Instagram @mikerowavables.
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Evangelical Christian can't get enough of conservative Jesus—the judgy one—so they want to put him everywhere: on Starbucks cups, in schools and even in the 'ween.

Yes, you read that correctly.

Halloween, also known as All Hallow's Eve—the precursor to All Saints Day on November 1—is not hallowed enough for the likes of some Evangelical Christians.

Instead, they would prefer to transform the holiday into "JesusWeen."

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Meanwhile, as advertisements started showing up on city buses and making their way across North America, people couldn't help but notice something a little too hilarious about the name "JesusWeen."






The specifically hilarious piece of the puzzle comes from the word "Ween."

Halloween means "Saints' evening" (Hallow + e'en). However, in arguing for JesusWeen, organizers have incorrectly interpreted "Ween" as one word.

"The dictionary meaning of Ween is to believe and think," wrote organizers.

"We therefore see October 31st as a day to expect a gift of salvation by receiving the Gospel of our lord Jesus."

However, Twitter is more struck by the Urban Dictionary definition of "Ween," which is slang for penis.






Another puzzling aspect of this story is that the word "Hallowe'en" is of Christian origin. The holiday was largely co-opted from folk customs and pagan rituals from around the British Isles.

The Gaelic festival of Samhain, the mark of the end of the warm and light season and the beginning of the cold and dark season, starts on October 31 as well.

The Celts believed Samhain was an opportunity for the veil between our world and the "Otherworld," the Celtic land of the dead and various entities, to blur. As such, Celts sought to appease angry spirits with "treats," aka food and drink.

With Christianity's introduction, All Hallows'—also called All Saints'—Day and All Hallows' Eve were made replacements while maintaining some of the original celebrations' traditions.






Still, Pastor Paul Ade, who is spearheading the movement, has not done the research or made the connections.

"I think it's an activity that doesn't have anything to do with Christians," he said to Gawker.

"Halloween is not consistent with the Christian faith. Many people say they feel uncomfortable on that day. We think people should choose an alternative activity."

And the alternate activity he's suggesting?

Celebrate JesusWeen.

Whatever that might mean to you.....or to Jesus.

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