They have shirts and signs that say "dance like no one is watching," but when we do that unintentionally and discover someone is watching, we're usually embarrassed, not empowered.
Dancing, singing, talking to yourself, having a bodily function, there are several moments in life when we prefer to not have an audience.
Reddit user Zenon9 asked:
"What’s your most embarrassing 'I thought I was alone' moment?"
It's Not What It Looks Like
"My husband (Black) and I (White) moved in with his parents for a few months to help us get back on our feet. I'm very blessed to have amazing in-laws."
"I thought I was home alone one day and decided to do a charcoal peel-off mask before my shower. So I put it on and opened the bathroom door."
"My Black father-in-law was walking by in the hallway right outside the door, stopping and staring at me."
"I don't think he knew what I had on my face, and I basically looked like I was in blackface... neither one of us said anything or mentioned it ever again."
~ eclectic_collector
Let 'Er Rip
"My boyfriend and I weren’t farting in front of each other yet, so after he went upstairs, I was ready to unleash a gas cloud."
"I bend over to feed the dogs, and this monstrosity was ready. I ripped it. It was so loud and so long…then I feel like maybe I’m not alone."
"I turn around, and my boyfriend is standing directly behind me with a look of absolute shock on his face."
"I guess he hadn’t gone upstairs."
~ Ice31
Surprise!
"Thought I was home alone a few years back. I had just finished a long shower and walked out of the master bathroom into my bedroom, completely nude and using my towel to dry my hair."
"I had apparently missed the text from my husband saying that the realtor set up a last-minute showing of our house, and I walked right out into the showing."
"It was a nice couple that I think was as embarrassed as I was!"
"The realtor called me later and said he would make sure to contact us both before the next one."
It's A Rap
"Working the closing shift at a smoke shop, I was mopping the floor and rapping a made-up as I went song about doing mundane tasks."
"I didn’t realize some last-minute customers who came in heard me as I had one pod in my ear."
"They heard a nice 16 bars from me before making their presence known. I jumped sooo high when I realized they were there."
~ Ronin_Willi
Stahp!!!
"I was at Walmart with my sister, and we had to use the restroom. I walked in and saw a lady shuffle into a stall."
"My sister must have followed me but entered after the lady closed the door and had not seen her. So she thought we were alone."
"I was quietly tinkling and the lady next to me started BLOWING IT UP. I mean a fart symphony."
"My sister busted out laughing, screaming,"
"'OMG, (insert my name) STOP!'."
"Followed by her laughing more, and saying,"
"'STOP, THAT'S SO GROSS!'."
"She thought it was me. I just sat mortified as my sister kept on going laughing and telling me to stop while this lady did her thing."
"When I was done, I whispered to my sister through her stall door that it wasn't me and it was someone else then left the bathroom."
"My sister was so embarrassed when she came out. I don't know if she ran into the lady at the sinks."
~ Stoobly
NSFW
"Back in college I was helping with the college radio station. It was an online radio station and no one really listened to it and so very few people were often involved."
"I’m sitting in the studio one day all alone playing music and occasionally announcing the songs. I’m bored and, because I was a college-aged boy, I decided to look at boobies for a second."
"So I pulled up a picture of boobies. I looked at them. Felt satisfied and closed the browser. Then continued doing radio stuff."
"A moment later, I turn to do something and notice a father and son in the adjacent room (like where a producer would be) getting a campus tour. The campus tour guide has placed himself between them and me and the father and son are kind of smirking."
"Nothing ever came of it, thankfully, and I’m guessing the tour guide learned a lesson about announcing himself to people in the studio and I learned a lesson about appropriate time and place and looking over one’s shoulder."
~ NikkoE82
Phantom Of The Opera
"My BFF and I would walk up a local mountain once a year, and on the way we would goof around and sing in our 'opera singer' voices."
"Not a good day to meet our scary chemistry teacher on the trail."
"I still can see that single raised eyebrow 50 years later."
~ Designer-Escape6264
Brightening Someone's Day
"I went to the bathroom in a train station. It was pretty empty and I just needed to pee. I got in one of the stalls and did what needed to be done when I felt a fart coming."
"So, I let it out. It was loud and long. Mid way of farting, the lady in the stall next to me started laughing hysterically."
"I finished, went to wash my hands and leave so she wouldn't see me. She was still laughing."
"I could hear her from the hallway after exiting the toilet."
~ 4y4cchi
American Pie Thigh
"I've mentioned it before, but when I was in year 7 (11-12 years-old). That age when you're just starting to think about sex."
"I was waiting for some food in the microwave to heat up and beside me were some skinless chicken thighs my mum left out to defrost the night before. I noticed they looked like a person's skin and my mind wandered to what it might be like to touch someone else or have someone touch me."
"I started getting..."
"Freaky with the thighs, groping them, and making moaning sounds while kind of gyrating my hips like I was dancing for someone."
"Then my mum walked in and asked WTF I was doing."
"God, I cringe just thinking about it now. I wonder if she remembers."
~ HornyMadam45
Not A Serial Killer, Promise
"I used to be a park ranger and I had gone out to check on the park early one morning and someone had damaged a wooden post to the point it needed to come down. So I went back to the shop, grabbed an axe, went back, and merrily started smashing this thing to the ground before I realized it was too quiet."
"That 'someone is watching me' quiet you feel in the woods."
"Looked up to the nearby pavilion and there were two teenagers having a really romantic little picnic—like little table cloth, flowers and everything on the picnic table—watching me in horror as I just rolled up and started chopping a wooden pole to the ground sith a huge axe."
"My truck was unmarked, and I was just wearing jeans and a t-shirt."
~ PrairieBunny91
It Was The Alarm Clock
"My husband and daughter have been sleeping on the couch for a few months because my kiddo has nightmares and that's the current arrangement that works for everyone. I was also wearing earplugs to bed as I am a super light sleeper."
"Our bedroom is at the top of the stairs on the second floor, and the couch is near the bottom of the stairs."
"For a few weeks I was having some stomach issues and was waking up suuuuuper gassy. Thankfully, I was sleeping alone with the door closed, so I'd wake up and let it rip to get all the gas out of my system before going downstairs."
"I came downstairs one morning after really having given it some gusto, and my husband and daughter were convulsing with laughter."
"I asked what they were laughing at and my husband said,"
"'I have to ask: do you take your earplugs out before or after you fart your brains out in the morning?'."
"Turns out the door being closed didn't muffle a damn thing. My earplugs gave me a false sense of security."
~ Gardengoddess83
What, No Duet?
"I talk or sing to myself when I'm alone. All the time, anywhere I happen to be alone. This includes when I'm working."
"So one time I'm stocking candy at work, and I just bust out singing,"
"'YOOOOUUUUUUUU LIIIGHT UP MYYY LIIIIIIIFE..."
"And I turn around and there's this poor customer looking at me trying not to laugh."
"I felt myself turn bright red, but I laughed awkwardly and said,
"'Sorry...'."
"He says,"
"'Naw, it's alright. I do it too'."
~ xoxoPrincess10
Same, Girl, Same
"I unexpectedly started my period in the middle of a long meeting where I had to get out of my seat multiple times. I know women will get why that's a nightmare."
"Anyway, after that meeting, I ran to the bathroom and I thought it was empty. Once in the stall, I looked down and it was a complete horrific mess—blood everywhere."
"I sadly said to myself,"
"'Noooo. Uterus, we're supposed to be in this together! Whyyyy‽‽'."
"Suddenly, I heard a woman say,"
"'Giiiiirrrrrlllll... I feel you'."
"I was mad embarrassed."
~ Sufficient-Berry-827
The Modern Birds Or The Extinct Birds/Dinosaurs?
"Pretending to be a raptor in the hallway at work."
"Hard to play that one off."
~ Stunning0jQueen
"I used to do this and when I was caught once, I got a weird look."
"But one time Daisy caught me and she squawked back at me. It was awesome!"
"In my defense, it was a facility that worked with children. It was really tough not to let the silliness flow."
~ Sufficient-Berry-827
Thanks, Karl
"I volunteered at an animal shelter in my early twenties. I was the first one to arrive in the morning (besides the office people), because I went there before my classes started and cleaned the dog kennels.
"When I was done, I would sit with one of the dogs, Bella, that spent most of her life there and well... talked to her. 3-5 times a week for months!"
"One day, I went into her kennel and greeted her, when I heard someone from the supply room saying,"
"'Bella wants you to know that you will be fine without that pr*ck and you should know your worth'."
"I was shocked and in my head I immediately went through a lot of messed up things I told that poor dog."
"And apparently, also Karl, 70, the Cat Guy."
~ Shabon-Dama
Were you ever caught unaware that you weren't alone?
