People Break Down The Dumbest Things They've Heard Someone Say

From time to time, all of us can experience moments of brain fog.

Or episodes where our intelligence takes a vacation while our vocal chords remain engaged.

So we should extend a little grace when it happens to the people around us. Except...

Sometimes someone says something to us that only elicits, well, this face:

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Reddit user Far-Bumblebee-1756 asked:

"What's the dumbest thing someone has said to you?"

Stop, Just Stop

"I had a friend who bet me $20 that a STOP sign had six sides."

"Then three months later, we were reminiscing, but he remembered it wrong, bet another $20 that a STOP sign had six sides, and lost again."

~ culturebarren

"He didn’t know when to STOP."

~ Mticore

Woof!

"I worked in a bank and someone was trying to cash a check for their grandfather who was 'in the hospital'."

"I told him we couldn’t cash it without the grandfather there, as the check was only made out to the grandfather, and he picks up a dog and says, 'I have his permission to cash the check. See, this is his dog!'."

"I was at a loss for words. I tried to keep a straight face while telling him that a dog was not a form of ID."

~ midigo6

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Self Healing

"After giving a coworker an aspirin, after some time, she came to me and said the medicine was useless."

"The pain went away on its own."

"After she took the aspirin."

~ deansmythe

Not That Kind Of Copier

"In an office that was low on paper: 'Just put a blank page in the copier and make more'."

~ UHJeff

Hit Print...

"I once got accepted for a job (US Army!) that required paper docs in triplicate to be submitted for Direct Deposit."

"I emailed back one .pdf file of the document."

"HR demanded I send 2 more .pdf copies."

~ Moist_When_It_Counts

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Glue Works Too

"I emailed a receptionist 'a label to print out and attach to the box to return it'."

"She called me because no glue was on the back when she printed it..."

"When I suggested tape, she was so grateful."

~ Moist_When_It_Counts

Parlais Vous Pirate?

"I had a professor in college who watched Pirates of the Caribbean ONE TIME and was convinced that the word 'parley' [pirate version of parlais, which is French for 'speak'] meant guidelines."

"So instead of telling us the guidelines for her class she gave us a list of 'parleys' that we were to follow in her class."

~ inky-mushroom

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Living In Denial

"Coworker, after an argument: 'Yes, I know you’re right, but I DON'T WANT you to be right. That’s why I don’t admit that you're right. So you're still wrong."

~ deansmythe

Was He In Congress?

"An ex of mine was feeling frisky but I was on my period. He asked why I didn’t just push out all the blood so we could get busy. I said '…what?'."

"Him: 'Just bear down and push it out like you do when you pee. Women can do that'."

Me: '…no, we can’t. That’s not a thing'."

Him: 'If you can do it when you pee, you can do it to get rid of your period. Women just use it as an excuse not to have sex'."

"I was so stunned I asked him to leave and broke it off with him the next day. Unbelievable."

~ FlabbyFishFlaps

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Well, She's Not Wrong

"I knew a girl in high school who said she wanted to learn Spanish because 'it's like English, but a different language'."

"I think about this more often than I want to."

~ egggcrate

Do They Specialize In Parrots?

"I am a veterinarian. My cousin is a child psychologist."

"Her literal words to me were 'You just don't know what it's like when your patient can't tell you what is wrong'."

~ Widumavi

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How Did He Miss That Part?

"Over the course of a few weeks, we were reading aloud as a class the Diary of Anne Frank in middle school."

"When we got to the part where they celebrate Hanukkah, one of my classmates blurted out, 'Wait, are they Jewish?'."

~ CandyCoatedDinosaurs

The Cash Register Does The Math

"I was in a store in the United States at a register, and the cashier was flirting with me."

"He asked me where I’m from, and I said England."

"Then he said ‘oh, what language do they speak there?'."

"When I replied English, the guy behind me in the queue busted out laughing."

~ Imyourvenus9

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Not What She Should Have Worried About Carrying

"I had a friend who got pregnant young (16-ish), and she was sobbing because she found out her boyfriend was cheating on her around the time they conceived."

"She was afraid she was carrying another woman's baby."

"That was an odd one to explain to her."

~ Fcck_it

Ah, Texas...

"I wasn't born in England, but that was where I was living when I learned to talk and until age 13."

"So, here I am, an American, living in Texas, from Texas, with a British accent."

"Which of course, requires explaining why I have the accent to EVERYONE I met from the age of 13 through the age of 35—when it finally faded away...mostly...it comes and goes here and there."

"So, I was 23 years old, in college, and working as a delivery driver. I explained why I had the accent to my coworkers, because a guy who was born in Texas, living most of his life in Texas, having a British accent requires explaining your backstory to everyone you work with."

"While standing in a Pizza Hut in the middle of Texas, a coworker asks, 'Can you say something in English?'."

"I asked what he meant, and he said, 'Oh, that's right, you said it's a British accent. So can you say something in British?'."

~ Worth_Box_8932

What would you add?